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Obaa Yaa

How can I get over this?

Dear Obaa Yaa,

We have been in a rela­tionship over one year. Though things have been moving on well, I have the feeling that this gentle­man will one day patch up with his ex-girlfriend and he will dump me.

The fear has come about because his ex-girlfriend visits him at the end of every month to collect money for the up­keep of their child.

Although he keeps assuring me that he loves me, I have my doubts and not convinced that he is sincere and will keep to his words.

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I am often worried whenev­er he travelled out of Accra on a business trip. I do not trust him because of his attitude and his utterances of late.

How can I get over it?

Nana Adzoa- Tema.

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Dear Nana Adzoa,

Love thrives on trust and tolerance,therefore, if these ingredients are absent in a marriage,the future becomes uncertain.

You sound as if your boy­friend has given you a reason not to trust him. If you keep on disturbing him, it will drive him away.

Your husband should be careful since his ex- girlfriend visits him every month to get money for the upkeep of their child. The frequent visits could pose a serious problem for your marriage.

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I guess your insecurity could be derived from how a past boyfriend might have disappointed you. If that is the case then you must try and get assurance from him.

Instead of worrying unnec­essarily which could disturb you, enjoy every moment with him, forget about your previ­ous relationship.

However, if you still feel insecure, then discuss the matter with an elderly priest or person and let him help you to overcome it.

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Obaa Yaa

 I don’t like his dressing

 Dear Obaa Yaa,

I live with my parents and my sister. She has a boyfriend who frequently comes to the house. I don’t have a problem with that but I’m concerned about the way he carries himself around the house anytime he visits.

He sometimes wears only a singlet and pair of shorts to our place. He doesn’t dress formally.

At times, he even removes his top and walks bare chested. He doesn’t feel shy at all exposing himself this way to his prospective in-laws.

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Any visitor to our house seeing this guy around bare chested may form a bad opinion about us.

And to add salt to injury, my sis­ter is not helping matters. In order to avoid any hostility, we have talked to my sister to find a way to talk to him but it is not working. How can we handle this?

Alodia, Accra.

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Dear Alodia,

IN my opinion, it is not out of place to tell your prospective in-law that the way he behaves around your home is not particularly to anybody’s liking.

You do not have to say this angrily, and in doing so, you must choose your words carefully.

On the other hand, your sister might also like this, but that is not the point.

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The point is that you want a decent in-law and you might as well send sig­nals about what your expectations are as far as your in-law is concerned.

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Obaa Yaa

My mum sleeps with other men

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I lived with my mother and her actions bring a lot of embarrass­ment to my family, and I need your advice.

She is single and in my neigh­borhood, my mother is noted for sleeping around with men. What is more disgraceful is that she even sleeps with men younger than her in the neighbourhood.

Her attitude is really affecting me because I have always tried to be morally upright.

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Could you imagine an occasion when I overheard some people mentioning the number of men my mother has slept with?

I have now become an object of mockery as I am the only child of my mother.

I am now confused, I feel like running away from home and never return. I will do this without informing her of where I intend going. I am 18 years and she is 38 years. Please help me out.

T.K, Bantama.

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Dear T.K

There is no point of running from the house without your mother knowing.

That would not solve the problem. This is the time that she needs you most because she may be frustrated.

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Remember, she is your mother and you need to accord her that due respect.

Have a personal talk with her about what she is making you go through mentally and physically.

I believe that even if she needs a partner, she can go in for a re­sponsible person. That can lead to marriage so that she’ll stop sleep­ing around.

You can also report her be­haviour to your family head to talk to her.

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