Features
The funny side of Ghanaian politics
A couple of weeks ago, I went to collect something from my sister at her home because I left it there when I visited the previous day for a family event. When I got there, my niece who is about five years old was in the yard, so I called out to her through the gaps in the metallic gate and asked her to go and call her mother to come and open the main gate for me, to enter with my vehicle.
Her mother came out and she said, “The man you referred to as ‘Papa No’ is your uncle.” Apparently, she went to her mom and told her that, the man who came here yesterday, is at the gate asking you to come and open the gate for him. Now when you mention ‘Papa No’, it becomes a sensitive word and someone who is politically inclined will either laugh or become offended depending on which party the person belongs.
According to news reportage, the term became an issue as a result of banter between some ladies on social media who were apparently fighting over a sugar daddy. Another lady who was a friend to one of the quarrelling ladies, referred to him as ‘Papa No’.
It was further brought into the public arena and became a topical issue when a popular Ghanaian musician called Sidney, came out with a song entitled ‘Papa No’. Since then, ‘Papa No’ has been trending on social media and has generated a lot of buzz all across the country. The funny thing is that no one has categorically mentioned the name of the person being referred to as ‘Papa No’, who it is believed to be a big shot in Ghanaian politics.
A funny incident recently occurred in parliament, to be specific, last week Friday, when parliament was debating a bill for approval or otherwise, concerning the financial vehicle known as the Agyapa Mineral Royalty Bill to deal with royalties from our mineral sector, to raise urgently needed funds for government. During the debate, the MP for Yapei–Kusawgu, John Jinapor, was against the approval of the bill and forcefully gave his opinion in support of his position.
Immediately afterwards, the current Minister for Information who is also the MP for Ofoase- Ayirebi Constituency, Kwadwo Oppong Nkrumah was given the floor. He eloquently enumerated why the bill must be approved. He then ended his submission by saying that “if the man who just spoke who is a good friend of mine, and Mr Speaker in my hometown we say ‘Papa No’ ‘Papa No’ …”, suddenly all hell broke loose.
There was uproar of laughter on the Majority side amid shouts of ‘Papa No’ and indignation on the side of the minority. The Public Accounts Committee (PAC) Chairman got up to implore the Speaker of Parliament to ask the Minister of Information to withdraw that reference of ‘Papa No’ and when the Speaker appeared not to be paying attention to him, the Minority Leader then got up.
He complained to the Speaker to ask Mr Oppong Nkrumah to withdraw that reference of ‘Papa No’. He went on to further state that if Mr Oppong Nkrumah refuses to withdraw, then the Minority would also refuse to recognise him as the Minister for Information and would also call him ‘Maame No’.
The Majority Leader also got up and said that the Minister was just cracking a joke and should not be taken as an insult or an attempt to demean his colleague MP. He then went on to say that if the Minority Leader is insistent, then the Minority Leader must be made to also retract the ‘Maame No’ reference. Then some drama ensued as the Chairman of PAC who was sitting not more than a metre away from the Minority Leader said that the Minority Leader did not say ‘Maame No’ to which the Majority leader replied “You see how it is?” and added, “If you say you did not hear your leader say ‘Maame No’, then it is very strange.” Finally, the Speaker ruled that these happenings were not new in parliament and that all sides should ignore the comments and move on.
During the period leading to the 2016 elections, a term appeared in the political space which was a reference of one of the then presidents to one of the chairmen of the opposition parties. The term ‘Opana’, became a topical issue and the usual political jabs were being thrown back and forth across the radio waves and social media. Ordinary folks started using the term to crack jokes and during phone-in sessions on radio, serial callers had a field day with the word.
Recently, the name ‘Government Official One’ has also become a topical issue. The NDC mounted a spirited defence when the NPP communicators were suggesting that the ‘Government Official One’ was a reference to former President Mahama. In fact, a press conference was organised to debunk the allegation that the ‘Government Official One’ was not former President Mahama as some people sought to suggest. Up till now, the former president has not debunked the allegations that he is the person being referred to as ‘Government Official One’ in the Airbus case.
‘Domestication’ was a term that became a word on the lips of everyone many years ago, due to its use by the late Mr Dan Lartey who was then an independent presidential candidate in 2008 elections. He became known as Mr Domestication and was all over the airwaves. He was quite a character and a jovial one at that which endeared him to the hearts of many Ghanaians until his passing. He was quite happy that people were calling him Mr Domestication and it did not bother him at all. Just like what we experienced at school, the more you react violently to a nickname, the more it encourages colleagues to call you by that name.
‘Papa No’ has become a hot item due to the attempt by people who are supporters of former President Mahama and who seek to defend him by saying that he is not the person the lady referred to as ‘Papa No’. Till they realise that this is not going away until they stop pushing back, the ‘Papa No’ will continue to be the topic for discussion for a very long time. It also has a nice ring to it and so people are prone to creating fun with it.
The funny thing also is that, it is a word that is often used in the Twi language, and so its use has caught on with a lot of people. Now one needs to be careful in the use of ‘Papa No’ otherwise you can easily be classified as an opponent of NDC due to the highly polarised political environment currently existing in the country, and more so as we approach the elections.
Given the sense of humour of Ghanaians, we have not seen or heard the end of such terms and name calling, and the earlier we got used to it the better.
AVERAGE CITIZEN
Features
Tears of Ghanaman, home and abroad
The typical native of Sikaman is by nature a hospitable creature, a social animal with a big heart, a soul full of the milk of earthly goodness, and a spirit too loving for its own comfort.
Ghanaman hosts a foreign pal and he spends a fortune to make him very happy and comfortable-good food, clean booze, excellent accommodation and a woman for the night.
Sometimes the pal leaves without saying a “thank you but Ghanaman is not offended. He’d host another idiot even more splendidly. His nature is warm, his spirit benevolent. That is the typical Ghanaian and no wonder that many African-Americans say, “If you haven’t visited Ghana. Then you’ve not come to Africa.
You can even enter the country without a passport and a visa and you’ll be welcomed with a pot of palm wine.
If Ghanaman wants to go abroad, especially to an European country or the United States, it is often after an ordeal.
He has to doze in a queue at dawn at the embassy for days and if he is lucky to get through to being interviewed, he is confronted by someone who claims he or she has the power of discerning truth from lie.
In short Ghanaman must undergo a lie-detector test and has to answer questions that are either nonsensical or have no relevance to the trip at hand. When Joseph Kwame Korkorti wanted a visa to an European country, the attache studied Korkorti’s nose for a while and pronounced judgment.
“The way I see you, you won’t return to Ghana if I allow you to go. Korkorti nearly dislocated her jaw; Kwasiasem akwaakwa. In any case what had Korkorti’s nose got to do with the trip?
If Ghanaman, after several attempts, manages to get the visa and lands in the whiteman’s land, he is seen as another monkey uptown, a new arrival of a degenerate ape coming to invade civilized society. He is sneered at, mocked at and avoided like a plague. Some landlords abroad will not hire their rooms to blacks because they feel their presence in itself is bad business.
When a Sikaman publisher landed overseas and was riding in a public bus, an urchin who had the impudence and notoriety of a dead cockroach told his colleagues he was sure the black man had a tail which he was hiding in his pair of trousers. He didn’t end there. He said he was in fact going to pull out the tail for everyone to see.
True to his word he went and put his hand into the backside of the bewildered publisher, intent on grabbing his imaginary tail and pulling it out. It took a lot of patience on the part of the publisher to avert murder. He practically pinned the white miscreant on the floor by the neck and only let go when others intervene. Next time too…
The way we treat our foreign guests in comparison with the way they treat us is polar contrasting-two disparate extremes, one totally incomparable to the other. They hound us for immigration papers, deport us for overstaying and skinheads either target homes to perpetrate mayhem or attack black immigrants to gratify their racial madness
When these same people come here we accept them even more hospitably than our own kin. They enter without visas, overstay, impregnate our women and run away.
About half of foreigners in this country do not have valid resident permits and was not a bother until recently when fire was put under the buttocks of the Immigration Service
In fact, until recently I never knew Sikaman had an Immigration Service. The problem is that although their staff look resplendent in their green outfit, you never really see them anywhere. You’d think they are hidden from the public eye.
The first time I saw a group of them walking somewhere, I nearly mistook them for some sixth-form going to the library. Their ladies are pretty though.
So after all, Sikaman has an Immigration Service which I hear is now alert 24 hours a day tracking down illegal aliens and making sure they bound the exit via Kotoka International. A pat on their shoulder.
I am glad the Interior Ministry has also realised that the country has been too slack about who goes out or comes into Sikaman.
Now the Ministry has warned foreigners not to take the country’s commitment to its obligations under the various conditions as a sign of weakness or a source for the abuse of her hospitality.
“Ghana will not tolerate any such abuse,” Nii Okaija Adamafio, the Interior Minister said, baring his teeth and twitching his little moustache. He was inaugurating the Ghana Refugee and Immigration Service Boards.
He said some foreigners come in as tourists, investors, consultants, skilled workers or refugees. Others come as ‘charlatans, adventurers or plain criminals. “
Yes, there are many criminals among them. Our courts have tried a good number of them for fraud and misconduct.
It is time we welcome only those who would come and invest or tour and go back peacefully and not those whose criminal intentions are well-hidden but get exposed in due course of time.
This article was first published on Saturday March 14, 1998
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Features
Decisions have consequences
In this world, it is always important to recognise that every action or decision taken, has consequences.
It can result in something good or bad, depending on the quality of the decision, that is, the factors that were taken into account in the decision making.
The problem with a bad decision is that, in some instances, there is no opportunity to correct the result even though you have regretted the decision, which resulted in the unpleasant outcome.
This is what a friend of mine refers to as having regretted an unregretable regret. After church last Sunday, I was watching a programme on TV and a young lady was sharing with the host, how a bad decision she took, had affected her life immensely and adversely.
She narrated how she met a Caucasian and she got married to him. The white man arranged for her to join him after the marriage and processes were initiated for her to join her husband in UK. It took a while for the requisite documentation to be procured and during this period, she took a decision that has haunted her till date.
According to her narration, she met a man, a Ghanaian, who she started dating, even though she was a married woman.
After a while her documents were ready and so she left to join her husband abroad without breaking off the unholy relationship with the man from Ghana.
After she got to UK, this man from Ghana, kept pressuring her to leave the white man and return to him in Ghana. The white man at some point became a bit suspicious and asked about who she has been talking on the phone with for long spells, and she lied to him that it was her cousin.
Then comes the shocker. After the man from Ghana had sweet talked her continuously for a while, she decided to leave her husband and return to Ghana after only three weeks abroad.
She said, she asked the guy to swear to her that he would take care of both her and her mother and the guy swore to take good care of her and her mother as well as rent a 3-bedroom flat for her. She then took the decision to leave her husband and return to Ghana.
She told her mum that she was returning to Ghana to marry the guy in Ghana. According to her, her mother vigorously disagreed with her decision and wept.
She further added that her mum told her brother and they told her that they were going to tell her husband about her intentions.
According to her, she threatened that if they called her husband to inform him, then she would commit suicide, an idea given to her by the boyfriend in Ghana.
Her mum and brother afraid of what she might do, agreed not to tell her husband. She then told her husband that she was returning to Ghana to attend her Grandmother’s funeral.
The husband could not understand why she wanted to go back to Ghana after only three weeks stay so she had to lie that in their tradition, grandchildren are required to be present when the grandmother dies and is to be buried.
She returned to Ghana; the flat turns into a chamber and hall accommodation, the promise to take care of her mother does not materialise and generally she ends up furnishing the accommodation herself. All the promises given her by her boyfriend, turned out to be just mere words.
A phone the husband gave her, she left behind in UK out of guilty conscience knowing she was never coming back to UK.
Through that phone and social media, the husband found out about his boyfriend and that was the end of her marriage.
Meanwhile, things have gone awry here in Ghana and she had regretted and at a point in her narration, was trying desperately to hold back tears. Decisions indeed have consequences.
NB: ‘CHANGE KOTOKA INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT TO KOFI BAAKO INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT’
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