Obaa Yaa
She doesn’t want to lose weight
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 27-year- old and I have been with my fiancée for some time now and we are planning to get married soon. My concern, however, is that I don’t find her current body shape too attractive. She has gained too much weight and I’ve tried every remedy I know to bring her back to shape but to no avail.
She uses the weight loss equipment I bought for her for only two days and stops. Once she stops she loses all the progress she has made.
Sometimes I try hard to defend her in public when people say she is “fat”. But she doesn’t seem to “love herself” too well to accept the change I am pushing for her. What else can I do? I love her so much and don’t want to lose her.
Nana Kwame,
Ashaiman – Lebanon
Dear Nana Kwame,
There are lots of factors that contribute to weight gain. If your girlfriend is now losing her original shape, both of you should find out why she may gain extra weight. However, it is good you’re making an effort to help her.
But if she is not getting the result you desire, both of you can start going to the gym together instead of allowing her to train alone. Going to the gym with her may give her some extra motivation so she does not give up easily.
Besides, love conquers all. And since you love her so much, her weight gain should not bother you so much. Don’t start looking elsewhere because of her physical appearance. Continue to help her to appreciate her new body shape.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I GOT married to a lady from my hometown (name withheld) because tradition does not allow us to marry people from other places. We have been living in Europe for the past six years after marriage, but she is very demanding.
For all these years, anytime my wife gets pregnant, she’ll always tell me she wants to deliver in Ghana so that she can get some help in taking care of the baby. Meanwhile, giving birth in Europe would have been a great benefit to my wife.
However, my wife is currently in Ghana to give birth to our second child and wants to spend about six months. Luckily, her brother disclosed to me about the building projects my wife was handling. That’s how I found out she wants to deliver in Ghana to supervise them. Obaa Yaa, I am confused.
—Enoch, Hamburg
Dear Enoch
I DON’T really understand why your wife is playing smart. From the look of things, both of you are happily married and making memories. The question is, what stops her from telling you that she is building in Ghana and needs your support?
I will suggest that you demand to know from her the source of the money she is using for the projects. Open communication is key to resolving this matter and ensuring trust in your marriage.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I AM a 30-year-old lady who holds a degree in Business Administration from the University of Ghana (Legon). I am married to a very wealthy man who provides me with everything I need.
My problem, however, is that my husband doesn’t want me to work. His explanation is that I am too beautiful, and for that matter, he is scared to lose me. His explanation doesn’t make sense, and I am very angry about his decision.
Secondly, the children are too young, and he is also not ready to employ a nanny, which makes me feel that I am a prisoner. This is a serious problem, and if I am not careful, it will affect my health since I am always indoors. I need your view on this, Obaa Yaa.
—Tina, Ada
Dear Tina
I UNDERSTAND where you are coming from because you want to work and explore. In this era, even if your husband is a billionaire, you need to work to make your own money in case any misfortune happens.
He pays me GH₵5,000 every month for being a housewife, so he doesn’t see the need for me to stress myself about work. I am not happy with this sort of life because, as a woman, it is not everything that I can ask from him. This has been my headache for some time now. Initially, I didn’t see it as a problem, but I realised that in the 21st century, being an independent woman is the best.
For close to five years, I have virtually been under house arrest; I am getting the feeling along the line that when only one person shoulders all costs at home, it makes the other person feel useless.
You need to have a heart-to-heart talk with your husband. Tell him that even if he doesn’t want you to work for any company, he should set up a business for you to manage to reduce the boredom in your life. I hope that if you subtly put this point across, he will change his mind and get you something to do.
