Obaa Yaa
She doesn’t want to lose weight
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 27-year- old and I have been with my fiancée for some time now and we are planning to get married soon. My concern, however, is that I don’t find her current body shape too attractive. She has gained too much weight and I’ve tried every remedy I know to bring her back to shape but to no avail.
She uses the weight loss equipment I bought for her for only two days and stops. Once she stops she loses all the progress she has made.
Sometimes I try hard to defend her in public when people say she is “fat”. But she doesn’t seem to “love herself” too well to accept the change I am pushing for her. What else can I do? I love her so much and don’t want to lose her.
Nana Kwame,
Ashaiman – Lebanon
Dear Nana Kwame,
There are lots of factors that contribute to weight gain. If your girlfriend is now losing her original shape, both of you should find out why she may gain extra weight. However, it is good you’re making an effort to help her.
But if she is not getting the result you desire, both of you can start going to the gym together instead of allowing her to train alone. Going to the gym with her may give her some extra motivation so she does not give up easily.
Besides, love conquers all. And since you love her so much, her weight gain should not bother you so much. Don’t start looking elsewhere because of her physical appearance. Continue to help her to appreciate her new body shape.
Obaa Yaa
I don’t like his dressing
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I live with my parents and my sister. She has a boyfriend who frequently comes to the house. I don’t have a problem with that but I’m concerned about the way he carries himself around the house anytime he visits.
He sometimes wears only a singlet and pair of shorts to our place. He doesn’t dress formally.
At times, he even removes his top and walks bare chested. He doesn’t feel shy at all exposing himself this way to his prospective in-laws.
Any visitor to our house seeing this guy around bare chested may form a bad opinion about us.
And to add salt to injury, my sister is not helping matters. In order to avoid any hostility, we have talked to my sister to find a way to talk to him but it is not working. How can we handle this?
Alodia, Accra.
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Dear Alodia,
IN my opinion, it is not out of place to tell your prospective in-law that the way he behaves around your home is not particularly to anybody’s liking.
You do not have to say this angrily, and in doing so, you must choose your words carefully.
On the other hand, your sister might also like this, but that is not the point.
The point is that you want a decent in-law and you might as well send signals about what your expectations are as far as your in-law is concerned.
Obaa Yaa
My mum sleeps with other men
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I lived with my mother and her actions bring a lot of embarrassment to my family, and I need your advice.
She is single and in my neighborhood, my mother is noted for sleeping around with men. What is more disgraceful is that she even sleeps with men younger than her in the neighbourhood.
Her attitude is really affecting me because I have always tried to be morally upright.
Could you imagine an occasion when I overheard some people mentioning the number of men my mother has slept with?
I have now become an object of mockery as I am the only child of my mother.
I am now confused, I feel like running away from home and never return. I will do this without informing her of where I intend going. I am 18 years and she is 38 years. Please help me out.
T.K, Bantama.
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Dear T.K
There is no point of running from the house without your mother knowing.
That would not solve the problem. This is the time that she needs you most because she may be frustrated.
Remember, she is your mother and you need to accord her that due respect.
Have a personal talk with her about what she is making you go through mentally and physically.
I believe that even if she needs a partner, she can go in for a responsible person. That can lead to marriage so that she’ll stop sleeping around.
You can also report her behaviour to your family head to talk to her.