My Uncle is proposing marriage to me

I am 20 years of age and my mother’s brother (my uncle) has been proposing marriage to me.

He always tries to touch either my breast or buttocks any time he gets close to me.

Although he already has two wives and is a womaniser, he says he is serious about me.

I am even scared with the way he going about things.

Should I report him to my mother?

Eyram, Volta

Dear Eyram,

THIS is a very serious and concerning situation. Marriage between an uncle and a niece is illegal in most countries due to genetic risk widely considered ethically and morally unacceptable.

Though this sort of relationship was acceptable to some ethnic groups in the past. It is now regarded by most people as incest and frowned upon.

Also very often, when children are born out of marriage of close relative, there is the tendency for them to suffer from intense cases of genetic disorder or diseases within the family.

I would also not advice that you encourage such a relationship since the man is a known womaniser.

He would break your heart and mess you up. Even mature women are unable to handle such trauma; how much more a mere 20 year old girl.

Firmly say no and avoid being alone with him. If you feel pressured or threatened seek help from someone you trust. (Parents, siblings, friends or authorities).

Mummy has disowned me

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am a 25 year old man who completed Kwame Nkrumah University of Science and Technology (KNUST) last year.

I had a confrontation with my mother after stealing her money to travel abroad; but this failed.

As a result, she has disowned me. My brother and I have sought the assistance of elders in our family and pastors to reconcile us but she has rejected all these.

She doesn’t talk to me nor cook for me. We leave like strangers in our home and I am uncomfortable.

I have pleaded with her countless times, but she doesn’t give ear to my plea.

I am burdened with this problem and I can’t cope anymore. I am sad and miserable. What should I do?

Ofori, Brekum.

Dear Ofori,

I guess you are just paying the wages of your sins. Come to terms with the fact that you have brought all of this upon yourself. Since you are so miserable, begin to work on yourself and turn away from your deeds.

You have already taken the first step by recognising your fault.

Now, begin to seek counselling from your church pastor and family elders.

When your mother sees and hears that you are now a changed person, I believe she will accept you back.

Obaa Yaa

I saw her with four boys

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am a boy of 25 years and she is a 19- year old Junior High School graduate. We are neighbours and our relationship started a year ago. I made her understand that I am a Christian and therefore, our relationship would be platonic.

Everything was going on smoothly until I started getting complaints from her relations and friends about her immorality. When I confronted her, she denied it.

On June 30 this year, I personally saw her in the company of four boys. I reported her to my father and when he asked her, she could not utter a word.

On our way out, a man called her and she excused herself but did not return till later in the night.

I broke up with her the same day because I couldn’t stand the betrayal.

But my problem now is that she is going around insulting me.

I find this really embarrassing.

Nii, La

Dear Nii,

Try and get your parents or other family members to get in touch with the girl’s family to talk to her.

Besides at 25 years, you are still young. Concentrate on your studies or whatever you want to do in life for a career and stop getting involved in affairs of the opposite sex until you are ready to marry.