Obaa Yaa
My conscience is killing me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I gave birth five months ago and lost the baby. My husband is eager to make a new baby with me.
I personally lost interest in anything my husband does to me.
I don’t want him to make love to me because I am always not in the mood.
I am also mourning my baby because I have lost hope and it seems my husband is not cooperating with me.
I give him excuses anytime he comes close to me.
How do I get this feeling out of my head?
Anonymous,
Mamprobi.
Dear Anonymous,
I am truly sorry to hear what you’re going through. Please know that you are not alone and with time, everything will be fine.
I believe it’s important to open up to your husband about how you feel.
He may not even be aware of the emotional or physical changes you’re experiencing until you express them.
Communication is key in any relationship, especially in marriages.
Remember, intimacy should be mutual and based on consent. It’s something that involves both partners.
Your husband should also be your closest friend. Withholding your feelings or continually giving excuses may make him feel distant or rejected.
This can lead to misunderstandings or even temptations that can strain your marriage.
To avoid this, I encourage you to have a very honest and calm conversation with him.
You may also consider speaking with a professional counsellor or doctor who can guide you both toward a healthier and more fulfilling intimate life.
Above all, take your concerns to God in prayer before speaking to anyone else.
May God be with you and bless your marriage with healing and a deeper connection.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We bumped into each other on orientation day as freshers on campus. I liked his smile, his choice of words, and charisma. I didn’t hesitate at all when he asked for my contact. Who wouldn’t want to be friends with a guy like this, I said to myself.
We texted more often, had conversations on phone, and our friendship literally grew very strong. We attended lectures together, studied together, hanged out together; everyone thought we were lovers.
He did everything for me—surprise dates, thoughtful gifts, pays my academic fees, and gives me a listening ear everyone would wish for.
One evening at a friend’s birthday party, standing in the middle of the audience, he proposed and asked me to be his girlfriend. I declined his proposal; this was because I have no feelings for him, and I just want us to be friends.
He is a man with good morals, so gentle, God-fearing, ambitious, a man every lady would wish for, but my heart just wasn’t in it. I wondered if love was supposed to be this complicated: the more he did, the more I felt like a friend, not a lover. He still wants me, but I want us to be just friends. What should I do?
Naa Kwarley, Kaneshie.
Dear Naa Kwarley,
This is a tough situation, and you’re handling it with both kindness and firmness.
Since you’ve already told him you’re not interested in a romantic relationship, it’s crucial to be clear and direct while still being respectful. I’d advise you to reiterate your feelings to him, emphasising that you value him as a person and appreciate what he’s done, but you see him more as a close friend. Make it clear that you hope you can still maintain a strong friendship, but it can’t be anything more.
It’s essential to be prepared for him to need space or time to process, so be patient and understanding.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a regular reader of your highly esteemed paper and I would like to know whether some amount of money is paid to those who write short stories for publication on the children’s page of your Weekly Spectator.
I wrote a short story which was published last month, and my friends who saw it told me that a token will be paid to anyone whose story is published.
A.J., Kwabenya.
Dear A.J.,
We don’t pay for short stories published on our children’s page. That opportunity is to encourage school children to develop the habit of writing. We believe that by publishing their short stories, they’ll be encouraged to write more.
The paper is open to everyone who wants to share ideas or write about a concern.
