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Obaa Yaa

 My conscience is killing me

 Dear Obaa Yaa,

I gave birth five months ago and lost the baby. My husband is eager to make a new baby with me.

I personally lost interest in anything my husband does to me.

I don’t want him to make love to me because I am always not in the mood.

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I am also mourning my baby because I have lost hope and it seems my husband is not coop­erating with me.

I give him excuses anytime he comes close to me.

How do I get this feeling out of my head?

Anonymous,

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Mamprobi.

Dear Anonymous,

I am truly sorry to hear what you’re going through. Please know that you are not alone and with time, everything will be fine.

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I believe it’s important to open up to your husband about how you feel.

He may not even be aware of the emotional or physical chang­es you’re experiencing until you express them.

Communication is key in any relationship, especially in marriages.

Remember, intimacy should be mutual and based on con­sent. It’s something that in­volves both partners.

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Your husband should also be your closest friend. Withholding your feelings or continually giv­ing excuses may make him feel distant or rejected.

This can lead to misunder­standings or even temptations that can strain your marriage.

To avoid this, I encourage you to have a very honest and calm conversation with him.

You may also consider speak­ing with a professional coun­sellor or doctor who can guide you both toward a healthier and more fulfilling intimate life.

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Above all, take your concerns to God in prayer before speak­ing to anyone else.

May God be with you and bless your marriage with healing and a deeper connection.

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Obaa Yaa

 I don’t like his dressing

 Dear Obaa Yaa,

I live with my parents and my sister. She has a boyfriend who frequently comes to the house. I don’t have a problem with that but I’m concerned about the way he carries himself around the house anytime he visits.

He sometimes wears only a singlet and pair of shorts to our place. He doesn’t dress formally.

At times, he even removes his top and walks bare chested. He doesn’t feel shy at all exposing himself this way to his prospective in-laws.

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Any visitor to our house seeing this guy around bare chested may form a bad opinion about us.

And to add salt to injury, my sis­ter is not helping matters. In order to avoid any hostility, we have talked to my sister to find a way to talk to him but it is not working. How can we handle this?

Alodia, Accra.

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Dear Alodia,

IN my opinion, it is not out of place to tell your prospective in-law that the way he behaves around your home is not particularly to anybody’s liking.

You do not have to say this angrily, and in doing so, you must choose your words carefully.

On the other hand, your sister might also like this, but that is not the point.

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The point is that you want a decent in-law and you might as well send sig­nals about what your expectations are as far as your in-law is concerned.

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Obaa Yaa

My mum sleeps with other men

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I lived with my mother and her actions bring a lot of embarrass­ment to my family, and I need your advice.

She is single and in my neigh­borhood, my mother is noted for sleeping around with men. What is more disgraceful is that she even sleeps with men younger than her in the neighbourhood.

Her attitude is really affecting me because I have always tried to be morally upright.

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Could you imagine an occasion when I overheard some people mentioning the number of men my mother has slept with?

I have now become an object of mockery as I am the only child of my mother.

I am now confused, I feel like running away from home and never return. I will do this without informing her of where I intend going. I am 18 years and she is 38 years. Please help me out.

T.K, Bantama.

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Dear T.K

There is no point of running from the house without your mother knowing.

That would not solve the problem. This is the time that she needs you most because she may be frustrated.

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Remember, she is your mother and you need to accord her that due respect.

Have a personal talk with her about what she is making you go through mentally and physically.

I believe that even if she needs a partner, she can go in for a re­sponsible person. That can lead to marriage so that she’ll stop sleep­ing around.

You can also report her be­haviour to your family head to talk to her.

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