Obaa Yaa
My conscience is killing me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I gave birth five months ago and lost the baby. My husband is eager to make a new baby with me.
I personally lost interest in anything my husband does to me.
I don’t want him to make love to me because I am always not in the mood.
I am also mourning my baby because I have lost hope and it seems my husband is not cooperating with me.
I give him excuses anytime he comes close to me.
How do I get this feeling out of my head?
Anonymous,
Mamprobi.
Dear Anonymous,
I am truly sorry to hear what you’re going through. Please know that you are not alone and with time, everything will be fine.
I believe it’s important to open up to your husband about how you feel.
He may not even be aware of the emotional or physical changes you’re experiencing until you express them.
Communication is key in any relationship, especially in marriages.
Remember, intimacy should be mutual and based on consent. It’s something that involves both partners.
Your husband should also be your closest friend. Withholding your feelings or continually giving excuses may make him feel distant or rejected.
This can lead to misunderstandings or even temptations that can strain your marriage.
To avoid this, I encourage you to have a very honest and calm conversation with him.
You may also consider speaking with a professional counsellor or doctor who can guide you both toward a healthier and more fulfilling intimate life.
Above all, take your concerns to God in prayer before speaking to anyone else.
May God be with you and bless your marriage with healing and a deeper connection.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I GOT married to a lady from my hometown (name withheld) because tradition does not allow us to marry people from other places. We have been living in Europe for the past six years after marriage, but she is very demanding.
For all these years, anytime my wife gets pregnant, she’ll always tell me she wants to deliver in Ghana so that she can get some help in taking care of the baby. Meanwhile, giving birth in Europe would have been a great benefit to my wife.
However, my wife is currently in Ghana to give birth to our second child and wants to spend about six months. Luckily, her brother disclosed to me about the building projects my wife was handling. That’s how I found out she wants to deliver in Ghana to supervise them. Obaa Yaa, I am confused.
—Enoch, Hamburg
Dear Enoch
I DON’T really understand why your wife is playing smart. From the look of things, both of you are happily married and making memories. The question is, what stops her from telling you that she is building in Ghana and needs your support?
I will suggest that you demand to know from her the source of the money she is using for the projects. Open communication is key to resolving this matter and ensuring trust in your marriage.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I AM a 30-year-old lady who holds a degree in Business Administration from the University of Ghana (Legon). I am married to a very wealthy man who provides me with everything I need.
My problem, however, is that my husband doesn’t want me to work. His explanation is that I am too beautiful, and for that matter, he is scared to lose me. His explanation doesn’t make sense, and I am very angry about his decision.
Secondly, the children are too young, and he is also not ready to employ a nanny, which makes me feel that I am a prisoner. This is a serious problem, and if I am not careful, it will affect my health since I am always indoors. I need your view on this, Obaa Yaa.
—Tina, Ada
Dear Tina
I UNDERSTAND where you are coming from because you want to work and explore. In this era, even if your husband is a billionaire, you need to work to make your own money in case any misfortune happens.
He pays me GH₵5,000 every month for being a housewife, so he doesn’t see the need for me to stress myself about work. I am not happy with this sort of life because, as a woman, it is not everything that I can ask from him. This has been my headache for some time now. Initially, I didn’t see it as a problem, but I realised that in the 21st century, being an independent woman is the best.
For close to five years, I have virtually been under house arrest; I am getting the feeling along the line that when only one person shoulders all costs at home, it makes the other person feel useless.
You need to have a heart-to-heart talk with your husband. Tell him that even if he doesn’t want you to work for any company, he should set up a business for you to manage to reduce the boredom in your life. I hope that if you subtly put this point across, he will change his mind and get you something to do.
