Features
Kids do and say the darnedest things
I went to see a friend off at one of the lorry stations or parks in the capital. A young woman was carrying a toddler; definitely her own child. A young man, probably a student in one of the senior high schools was munching what looked like a candy. This toddler stretched her hand in demand of the candy and the mother slapped her arm so hard that the little tot screamed in agony.
It took a lot of coaxing for the girl to stop crying, and the student went to buy another candy for her. This mother’s action drew a lot of condemnation from those around. When she was questioned, all she could say was that she didn’t want to encourage her child asking things from strangers. How would a toddler, barely two years old, understand this?
Whatever catches a child’s fancy, they want to possess. Some are likely to throw tantrums if they don’t get it. In children’s estimation, they own everything around them. Some kids will naturally run away from strangers, even if that stranger has what looks like their favourite toy. But others accept strangers with open arms.
You might have noticed parents beating their little children in order to stop them from crying unnecessarily. My question is: which child keeps quiet just for being whipped? It never happens, because children are not immune to pain from beatings.
There are many children in my neighbourhood; very interesting children. Their ages range between 18 months and six or seven. It is difficult to determine their ages these days unless they live in your house. A few months ago, while some adults looked on as these children were playing, one four-year-old told her playmates that she had been seeing her parents wrestling in their bed with no clothes on. What do my readers make of this?
The child, in her innocence, was only reporting what she saw; nothing more. Whatever wrestling match she saw meant nothing to her, but parents must be mindful of the fact that children, no matter how young, have a very keen sense of observation even if they cannot and do not process what they see as adults are wont to do.
Another one told her mates that her mother grew beard on her genitals. I guess every mother has a particular name for the genitalia the children know. What the little tot was referring to was the mother’s tuft of pubic hair. And because the father had a beard on his chin, her mother’s was elsewhere and she wanted her mates to know that. That’s how simple and uncomplicated a child’s world is. Children have very little or no appreciation of anything that goes on around them.
My two-year-old grandson spills a malt drink on the cushion and his mother screams at him. He gets frightened alright and rushes to me to be cuddled. After a few moments he is back demanding to be given the rest of the malt drink from the mother. It is difficult for some parents to come to terms with the fact that children are just who they are; children.
A couple of years ago, my daughter called me one morning for our usual chat. During the conversation, she told me her eldest daughter wanted to talk to me. She gave her the phone and all my granddaughter asked was, “Grandpa, when will you die?” I heard my daughter shout at her not to ask just a silly question. She took the phone from the little girl and tried to apologise to me for her daughter’s effrontery.
Honestly, if I had asked my parents that question at that age back in the day I would have been accused of being a witch (or wizard) incarnate. Adzevi would have been the right description. Even majority of parents in our parts in this day and age will not take kindly to this question from an impetuous child. Who born dog? All hell would have broken loose. Born-again parents would have taken this child to their pastors for deliverance.Deliverance because of a simple, innocent and inquisitive child’s question?
I asked my daughter to give the phone back to her child. I asked her if she was present at her own birth. She said no. Did she know when she was born? She mentioned the date. How did she know? Her mother told her was her response. She gave very honest answers to my questions. I knew I got her attention, so I went on, “You see, you just said you were told those things by your Mom. What it means is that we never know when we are born until our parents tell us.
“That is how God works. We do not know when we are born, so we do not know when we will die. The decision is God’s as to when He calls us back to where we came from. Do you understand now?” She said she understood and I asked if she had any other question relating to dying. She had none, so I asked her to give the phone back to her mother. I reported our conversation to her and asked her not to dismiss questions children ask outright.
When my grandchildren came visiting on my birthday in January, I raised the issue but my granddaughter did not remember she had ever asked me that question. Children are naturally very inquisitive. Just after about five years, she had forgotten a question she had asked while younger.
Another child who referred to a cripple as an animal because he saw that the person was walking on all fours was so severely beaten that he fell asleep while still crying. How does a child understand these things, one may ask? And the little tot would not understand why he was beaten. Children must be allowed to express themselves freely. What parents must understand is that children say things they see. Therefore, it behoves parents to determine what is right or wrong for their children to be exposed to. Just do not do what your own child will report to her playmates that turns to embarrass you. What children say or do mirrors the way we live in our homes and the immediate environment.
More often than not, adults think children should understand what we understand. They must see what we see. we easily forget that we were once like them; perhaps behaved worse. A mother beats up a child for demanding food she doesn’t have money to afford. Children do not care whether we have the resources to take care of them. They should not, actually. All they want is to play and eat and sleep. Deprive a child of these and your ceiling will come down.
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Features
Tears of Ghanaman, home and abroad
The typical native of Sikaman is by nature a hospitable creature, a social animal with a big heart, a soul full of the milk of earthly goodness, and a spirit too loving for its own comfort.
Ghanaman hosts a foreign pal and he spends a fortune to make him very happy and comfortable-good food, clean booze, excellent accommodation and a woman for the night.
Sometimes the pal leaves without saying a “thank you but Ghanaman is not offended. He’d host another idiot even more splendidly. His nature is warm, his spirit benevolent. That is the typical Ghanaian and no wonder that many African-Americans say, “If you haven’t visited Ghana. Then you’ve not come to Africa.
You can even enter the country without a passport and a visa and you’ll be welcomed with a pot of palm wine.
If Ghanaman wants to go abroad, especially to an European country or the United States, it is often after an ordeal.
He has to doze in a queue at dawn at the embassy for days and if he is lucky to get through to being interviewed, he is confronted by someone who claims he or she has the power of discerning truth from lie.
In short Ghanaman must undergo a lie-detector test and has to answer questions that are either nonsensical or have no relevance to the trip at hand. When Joseph Kwame Korkorti wanted a visa to an European country, the attache studied Korkorti’s nose for a while and pronounced judgment.
“The way I see you, you won’t return to Ghana if I allow you to go. Korkorti nearly dislocated her jaw; Kwasiasem akwaakwa. In any case what had Korkorti’s nose got to do with the trip?
If Ghanaman, after several attempts, manages to get the visa and lands in the whiteman’s land, he is seen as another monkey uptown, a new arrival of a degenerate ape coming to invade civilized society. He is sneered at, mocked at and avoided like a plague. Some landlords abroad will not hire their rooms to blacks because they feel their presence in itself is bad business.
When a Sikaman publisher landed overseas and was riding in a public bus, an urchin who had the impudence and notoriety of a dead cockroach told his colleagues he was sure the black man had a tail which he was hiding in his pair of trousers. He didn’t end there. He said he was in fact going to pull out the tail for everyone to see.
True to his word he went and put his hand into the backside of the bewildered publisher, intent on grabbing his imaginary tail and pulling it out. It took a lot of patience on the part of the publisher to avert murder. He practically pinned the white miscreant on the floor by the neck and only let go when others intervene. Next time too…
The way we treat our foreign guests in comparison with the way they treat us is polar contrasting-two disparate extremes, one totally incomparable to the other. They hound us for immigration papers, deport us for overstaying and skinheads either target homes to perpetrate mayhem or attack black immigrants to gratify their racial madness
When these same people come here we accept them even more hospitably than our own kin. They enter without visas, overstay, impregnate our women and run away.
About half of foreigners in this country do not have valid resident permits and was not a bother until recently when fire was put under the buttocks of the Immigration Service
In fact, until recently I never knew Sikaman had an Immigration Service. The problem is that although their staff look resplendent in their green outfit, you never really see them anywhere. You’d think they are hidden from the public eye.
The first time I saw a group of them walking somewhere, I nearly mistook them for some sixth-form going to the library. Their ladies are pretty though.
So after all, Sikaman has an Immigration Service which I hear is now alert 24 hours a day tracking down illegal aliens and making sure they bound the exit via Kotoka International. A pat on their shoulder.
I am glad the Interior Ministry has also realised that the country has been too slack about who goes out or comes into Sikaman.
Now the Ministry has warned foreigners not to take the country’s commitment to its obligations under the various conditions as a sign of weakness or a source for the abuse of her hospitality.
“Ghana will not tolerate any such abuse,” Nii Okaija Adamafio, the Interior Minister said, baring his teeth and twitching his little moustache. He was inaugurating the Ghana Refugee and Immigration Service Boards.
He said some foreigners come in as tourists, investors, consultants, skilled workers or refugees. Others come as ‘charlatans, adventurers or plain criminals. “
Yes, there are many criminals among them. Our courts have tried a good number of them for fraud and misconduct.
It is time we welcome only those who would come and invest or tour and go back peacefully and not those whose criminal intentions are well-hidden but get exposed in due course of time.
This article was first published on Saturday March 14, 1998
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Features
Decisions have consequences
In this world, it is always important to recognise that every action or decision taken, has consequences.
It can result in something good or bad, depending on the quality of the decision, that is, the factors that were taken into account in the decision making.
The problem with a bad decision is that, in some instances, there is no opportunity to correct the result even though you have regretted the decision, which resulted in the unpleasant outcome.
This is what a friend of mine refers to as having regretted an unregretable regret. After church last Sunday, I was watching a programme on TV and a young lady was sharing with the host, how a bad decision she took, had affected her life immensely and adversely.
She narrated how she met a Caucasian and she got married to him. The white man arranged for her to join him after the marriage and processes were initiated for her to join her husband in UK. It took a while for the requisite documentation to be procured and during this period, she took a decision that has haunted her till date.
According to her narration, she met a man, a Ghanaian, who she started dating, even though she was a married woman.
After a while her documents were ready and so she left to join her husband abroad without breaking off the unholy relationship with the man from Ghana.
After she got to UK, this man from Ghana, kept pressuring her to leave the white man and return to him in Ghana. The white man at some point became a bit suspicious and asked about who she has been talking on the phone with for long spells, and she lied to him that it was her cousin.
Then comes the shocker. After the man from Ghana had sweet talked her continuously for a while, she decided to leave her husband and return to Ghana after only three weeks abroad.
She said, she asked the guy to swear to her that he would take care of both her and her mother and the guy swore to take good care of her and her mother as well as rent a 3-bedroom flat for her. She then took the decision to leave her husband and return to Ghana.
She told her mum that she was returning to Ghana to marry the guy in Ghana. According to her, her mother vigorously disagreed with her decision and wept.
She further added that her mum told her brother and they told her that they were going to tell her husband about her intentions.
According to her, she threatened that if they called her husband to inform him, then she would commit suicide, an idea given to her by the boyfriend in Ghana.
Her mum and brother afraid of what she might do, agreed not to tell her husband. She then told her husband that she was returning to Ghana to attend her Grandmother’s funeral.
The husband could not understand why she wanted to go back to Ghana after only three weeks stay so she had to lie that in their tradition, grandchildren are required to be present when the grandmother dies and is to be buried.
She returned to Ghana; the flat turns into a chamber and hall accommodation, the promise to take care of her mother does not materialise and generally she ends up furnishing the accommodation herself. All the promises given her by her boyfriend, turned out to be just mere words.
A phone the husband gave her, she left behind in UK out of guilty conscience knowing she was never coming back to UK.
Through that phone and social media, the husband found out about his boyfriend and that was the end of her marriage.
Meanwhile, things have gone awry here in Ghana and she had regretted and at a point in her narration, was trying desperately to hold back tears. Decisions indeed have consequences.
NB: ‘CHANGE KOTOKA INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT TO KOFI BAAKO INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT’
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