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Is our God pleased when we improve?
We know that no one is perfect, the proof is so much evident all around us. It’s not hard to notice faults and errors in other people. However, we are often less eager to admit our own faults, our own mistakes. It’s sometimes embarrassing, uncomfortable, even risky. Will others think less of us if we confess to being wrong?
A student once approached his teacher after class to dispute the low score he had received on an essay. Instead of brushing him off, the teacher read the essay again carefully and realised she had undervalued his work, she had made a mistake. After correcting his grade, she not only felt better about herself but made a lasting impression on the student. Rather than resenting her mistake or losing confidence in her abilities, he gained new respect for a teacher who was willing to take responsibility for her errors.
Admitting mistakes is not shameful. It simply means we are learning, that we are now wiser than we were before. Everyone who has achieved anything meaningful, great inventors, scientists, artists, athletes, entrepreneurs; experienced many failures on the path to success. But those failures are only beneficial if we’re willing to accept them as such.
Repentance is not just feeling guilty for having sinned, nor is it mere “forgetfulness,” pushing the sin way back in our minds to conveniently not be reminded of it. It is an attitudinal change and a behavioural change. We repent not only of sins but also of sinning, and we are willing to do whatever is necessary to remove the stain and the pain. We turn to the Saviour. He is the only one who can take away our sins because He paid the price for them.
In true repentance, godly sorrow and suffering are necessary. According to the scriptures, if you haven’t suffered, you haven’t repented. We have all been through the anguish. Sometimes we feel like pounding our head against the wall, wondering how we could be so foolish as to do the sinful things we do. We hurt inside. And it is not just guilt for being caught or feeling the embarrassment for having to confess. It is godly sorrow we are feeling.
Spencer W. Kimball taught: No one can ever be forgiven of any transgression until there is repentance, and one has not repented until he has bared his soul and admitted his intentions and weaknesses without excuses or rationalisations. He must admit to himself that he has grievously sinned. When he has confessed to himself without the slightest minimising of the offence, or rationalising its seriousness, or soft-pedaling its gravity, and admits it is as big as it really is, then he is ready to begin his repentance.
We have a worry these days. Many in this generation seem to be growing up with the carefree attitude “I can sin now, and I can always repent later. Richard G. Scott warned, “The thought of intentionally committing serious sin now and repenting later is perilously wrong. . . Premeditated sin has greater penalties and is harder to overcome” (“Making the Right Choices,” Ensign Magazine, November 1994, 38–39). We must confess and forsake our sins now and not put off our repentance. The prophet Alma warned his people not to procrastinate the day of our repentance. As the old rabbis used to say: You cannot repent the day before you die, because you don’t know what day you will die.
The scriptures teach that forsaking our sins is necessary. The Lord said, “By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sins — behold, he will confess them and forsake them”. To forsake means to give up, abandon. Indeed, we must abandon all sin as soon as we can, and it might require a lengthy and mighty struggle to rid ourselves of our toughest and most perplexing weaknesses. It is essential, as soon as possible, to expel sin from our lives. That is forsaking.
Sometimes people will sincerely desire to repent and secure Heavenly Father’s complete forgiveness, saying to the Saviour, “Here, Lord. Here is my whole package of sin. Please take it away.” And He does. Then we go back and say, “Wait a minute. Give me some of those sins back; I want to suffer a little more for them!” No. When you have totally repented, you must forsake those sins, forget about them, bury them away, and not bring them up again. Jesus beautifully stated the principle in agricultural terms: “No man, having put his hand to the plough and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God” (Luke 9:62). In other words, when you have planted your life in a more spiritual furrow, keep your eyes straight ahead and don’t look back to the old sins, the old people, the old places. Someone has suggested that when Satan reminds you of your past, just remind him of his future! Keep your eyes looking ahead and on the Saviour.
I really like some words from Isaiah 54:4: “Thou shalt forget the shame of thy youth.” I am taking those words out of their historical context, but I find the phrase itself profoundly meaningful. We all know that nobody gets through teenage years unscathed. Everyone has problems growing up — some worse than others — but it is imperative that we forget the shame of our youth. Repent, put it behind you, and move on.
Those who are too proud to acknowledge their own imperfections are fooling themselves, and usually nobody else. They are inventing an image that blocks their view of the road to improvement. And they miss the peace that comes from living with honesty, which always means living with imperfection.
When someone admits a mistake, we feel a rush of admiration. We also feel safe acknowledging our own shortcomings and confident that we too can improve. Imagine the effect on a child who learns from observing a parent that when we make mistakes, we own up to them, and we do better next time. How much better that is than pretending that we never make mistakes.
It isn’t until we accept that we are all works in progress that we actually do make progress. It’s a beautiful paradox that we cannot move forward until we admit that we’ve been moving backward. Owning our weakness is, in reality, perhaps the best way to show strength.
Samuel Enos Hagan
Attention-Deficit or Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is often mistaken for laziness or indiscipline. In consulting rooms across Accra and in reports from school teachers, the pattern repeats: children who are bright but forgetful, parents who feel helpless, teachers who see incompleteness.
Research is clear-Barkley (2015) and others describe ADHD as a difference in the brain’s regulation of alertness, impulse and working memory, not a lack of effort.
The family’s role begins with structure. Regular sleep, predictable meal and homework times, and a simple visual list (uniform → books → water → corridor) provide the external scaffolding of these children need. Praise what is completed—“You opened the book and wrote the first sentence”-instead of rebuking what is missing.
Schools can help by seating the child front-row and centre, giving short written plus verbal instructions, allowing brief movement breaks, using quiet nonverbal cues and, where possible, grading effort and method as well as neatness. These adjustments reduce conflict and raise submission rates without lowering standards.
Couples and caregivers should share roles: one grounds, one pivots, and both protect rest. Shame-“bad parenting, bad child”-needs replacing with fact: different wiring, needs scaffolding.
Outcomes improve not by promises of perfection but by daily routines, clear limits and warmed connection. One homework slot kept, one instruction chunked, one calm repair after blurting-these small wins shift the family climate and let the child be seen beyond the label.
Resource
• CPAC (award-winning Mental Health and Counselling Facility): 0559850604 / 0551428486
Source: REV. COUNSELLOR PRINCE OFFEI’s insights on special needs support, relationships, and mental health in Ghana. He is a leading mental health professional, lecturer, ADR Expert/Arbitrator, renowned author, and marriage counsellor at COUNSELLOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES CONSULT (CPAC COUNSELLOR TRAINING INSTITUTE) – 0551428486 /0559850604.
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After two weeks of hectic activity up north, I drove to the Tamale airport, parked the car at the Civil Aviation car park as usual, paid the usual parking fee and boarded the plane for Accra.
Over the last two weeks, I had shuffled between three sites where work was close to completion.
One was a seed warehouse, where farmers would come and pick up good quality maize, sorghum and other planting material.
The other was a health facility for new mothers, where they were given basic training on good nutrition and small scale business.
And the third was a set of big boreholes for three farming communities.
The projects usually ran on schedule, but a good deal of time was spent building rapport with the local people, to ensure that they would be well patronised and maintained.
It was great to be working in a situation where one’s work was well appreciated. But it certainly involved a lot of work, and proactivity. And I made sure that I recorded updates online before going to bed in the evening.
When the plane took off, my mind shifted to issues in Accra, the big city. The young guys at my office had done some good work. They had secured five or six houses on a row in a good part of the city, and were close to securing the last.
When we got this property, unusually, Abena greeted them casually, and appeared to be comfortable in the guy’s company.
I was quite disappointed to hear that, because until the last few weeks, it seemed as if Abena and I were heading in a good direction. Apart from the affection I had for her, I liked her family. I decided to take it easy, and allow things to fall in whatever direction.
Normally I would take a taxi to her house from the airport, and pick her up to my place. This time I went to my sisters’ joint, where they sat by me while I enjoyed a drink and a good meal.
“So Little Brother,” Sister Beesiwa said, “what is it we are hearing about our wife-to-be?”
“When did you conclude that she was your wife-to-be? And what have you heard? I’ve only heard a couple of whispers. Ebo and Nana Kwame called to say that they have seen her in the company of—”
“Well said Little Brother,” Sister Baaba said. “By the way, Nana Kwame called an hour ago to ask if you had arrived because he could not reach you. Someone had told him that Jennifer had boasted to someone that she had connected Abena to a wealthy guy who would take care of her.”
I was beginning to understand. For some time, Abena had been asking me what work I was doing up north, and after I had explained it to her, she kept asking. So I think Jennifer fed her with false stories about me in order to get her to move to the Ampadu guy. Jennifer must have been well compensated for her efforts.
“In that case,” Sister Beesiwa said, “you should be glad that Abena is out of your way. She is easily swayed. Anyone who would make a relationship decision based on a friend’s instigation lacks good sense. I hope the guy is as wealthy as they say?”
“Who gets wealthy running a supermarket chain in Ghana?” Sister Baaba said. “Our supermarkets sell mostly imported products. Look at the foreign exchange rate. And remember that Ghanaians buy second-hand shoes and clothes. Supermarkets are not good business here. Perhaps they are showing off that they are wealthy, but in reality they are not doing so well.”
“Amen to that,” I said. “I’m beginning to understand. For some time, Abena had been asking me what work I was doing up north, and after I had explained it to her, she kept asking. So I think Jennifer fed her with false stories about me in order to get her to move to the Ampadu guy. Jennifer must have been well compensated for her efforts.”
She said that David Forson was only an agricultural extension worker in the north who did not have the resources to take care of a beautiful girl like her. And apart from being wealthy, the guy comes from an influential family, so Abena had done much better leaving a miserable civil servant like you for him.
“Amen to that,” I said. “I’m beginning to understand. For some time, Abena had been asking me what work I was doing up north, and after I had explained it to her, she kept asking. We would be able to sell all five houses to one big corporate customer, and we had already spoken to a property dealer who was trying to find a buyer in order to get a good commission.
That was going to be my biggest break. I had asked the boys to look for a large tract of land on the outskirts of the city where we could develop our own set of buildings, blocks of storey houses and upscale apartments. Things were going according to plan, and I was quietly excited. However, things were not going so well regarding my relationship with Abena.
My buddies Ebo and Nana Kwame had called to say that they met Abena and her friend Jennifer enjoying lunch with a guy, and Ebo believed that Jennifer was ‘promoting’ an affair between Jennifer and the guy. They were of the view that the promotion seemed to be going in the guy’s favour, because only an agricultural extension worker in the north who did not have the resources to take care of a beautiful girl like her.
And apart from being wealthy, the guy comes from an influential family, so Abena had done much better leaving a miserable civil servant like you for him.
“As I’ve already said, I will stop by her place, but I will mind my own business from now. Hey, let’s talk family. How are our parents? And my brothers-in-law? And my nephews and nieces? Why don’t we meet on Sunday? I’m going to drop my bags at my place, and go to see Mama and Dad.”
