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I have a question
There used to be a time when one lost an item in a taxi, it would be taken to the nearest police station to be kept for the owner to come for it. There used to be a time that people did not lock their doors when going to sleep.
There used to be a time when it was unthinkable to expect that armed robbers would attack travellers on our highways. There used to be a time when people did not find it strange to leave their items with the person sitting by them on a bus to look after them while they buy something at the market close to the lorry station. They knew that the stranger on the bus would look after the items well for them until they returned. I ,therefore, have a question as to why this is not so in our time?
Our grandparents told us of how it was unthinkable for people to steal foodstuffs from other people’s farms. There was something called “Tegare” a spirit which they used to worship and had fetishes through whom the spirit manifested itself and which revealed things and punished offenders, usually with instant death.
This kept people in line and prevented them from going wayward and conducting themselves in an ungodly manner like stealing, sleeping with their neighbours wives, cheating on their spouses etc.
Then comes the religion of the Whiteman, (who in my view is a confused person since the colour of his skin is more pink than white) who says There is a God who will punish evil doers at a later date when His son, Jesus Christ, would sit in Judgement.
The religion preached forgiveness and that we should turn the right cheek for another slap after the left one has been slapped. Is the current situation good for us as a people when stealing has become rampant and the chances of ever finding your item left in a taxi is zero on the average? I have a question:
The man who claims he knows God more than the African, starts the slave trade by enslaving a fellow human and trading people off like goods. Of course you cannot put the entire blame on the European because our own Kings and Chiefs were complicit in this inhuman and despicable enterprise.
But I have a question: Which of the two groups of people should demonstrate a godly character? The Africans who according to the Europeans were idol worshippers or the Europeans who worshiped the true God?
The selfish greed that characterised the behaviour of the African leaders in those days that influenced their decision to promote the evil agenda of the Europeans is still in display in most African countries. Otherwise why should a country like DR Congo with such a huge variety of resources both natural and human wallow in poverty?
I have a question: I really do. Are the history books lying to us that civilisation started in Africa, in Egypt to be precise? So what happened that we have suddenly become a continent of dependent people that do not seem to have a solution to our challenges? Did our leaders’ minds decide to go on holiday?
When the Caucasians decided to help one another so they can establish a united front to achieve prosperity for themselves, our leaders were more interested in going it alone. Look at how long it has taken us to create a common currency for the ECOWAS region. The less we talk about the AU project the better such that it took a country from another continent to build our headquarters of our African Union for us, how shameful.
When Nkrumah had this wonderful idea of African Unity, some selfish leaders felt that it was a threat to their egotistic parochial interest and for that matter teamed up with those in the Western world who dreaded the very idea of losing cheap raw materials to feed their industry.
Is something wrong with us? Why can’t we make the right choices? Why can’t we have empathy for our own brothers and sisters? Most of our leaders engage in corrupt practices, steal government resources meant for developmental projects and take them to the banks of the very advanced nations which loaned us the money in the first place.
They use the money to generate more wealth and keep on loaning money to us at rates that ensure that we are kept in perpetual poverty. They then come with all sorts of prescription as to how we can get out of our economic challenges. We implement them yet we never seem to get out of our challenges and it becomes a vicious cycle, year after year.
Do you recall a certain, Mobutu of then Zaire now DR Congo, Idi Amin of Uganda, Siad Barre of Somalia, Sanni Abacha of Nigeria, Gadhafi of Libya, and Mugabe of Zimbabwe? These were people who repressed their people and ruled like their various countries belonged to them.
We must not forget a certain J.J. Rawlings of Ghana who later metamorphosed into a democrat. When everyone was criticising Sanni Abacha, J.J. Rawlings was praising him. Years later, J. J. Rawlings confessed that he took 2.5 million dollars from Abacha, although the man who handed over the money to Rawlings claimed it was five million dollars. Now we have Museveni of Uganda, Al Sisi of Egypt, Conde of Guinea, and Ouatara of Cote D’Ivoire using all manner of tricks to stay in power.
People go and bring in foreigners to destroy our land through illegal mining and they get away with it. Things that would not be allowed to happen in their countries, we allow them to do here. Our water bodies are now polluted. Our arable land is being destroyed and is shrinking in size, year after year.
Until I see real leadership being demonstrated, where corruption is made a very expensive and dangerous activity, where there is a willingness to enforce the law no matter the status of the person or persons involved, where I see parliamentarians behaving as honourable people, until I see people in leadership positions putting the nation first, I will still have a question:
By Laud Kissi-Mensah
The writer is a social commentator
In the pursuit of nurturing healthy, fulfilling relationships, we often focus on understanding our partners, communicating effectively, and navigating conflicts. However, a crucial element is frequently overlooked: self-awareness.
Understanding ourselves is the foundation upon which successful relationships are built. Imagine being in a relationship where every conversation feels like a minefield, and every disagreement leaves you wondering if you are truly understood.
Now, picture a relationship where you feel seen, heard, and valued—not because your partner has magically figured you out, but because you have taken the time to understand yourself. This is the transformative power of self-awareness in relationships.
What is Self-Awareness?
Self-awareness is the ability to recognize and understand our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. It is the capacity to reflect on ourselves, acknowledging our strengths and weaknesses, and taking responsibility for our actions. With self-awareness, we are better equipped to manage our emotions, respond to situations more thoughtfully, and make informed decisions that align with our values.
How Self-Awareness Impacts Relationships
- Improved Communication:
When we are aware of our own emotions and needs, we can communicate them more effectively to our partner, reducing misunderstandings and conflicts. By recognising our tendency to become defensive in certain situations, we can take a step back, breathe, and respond more constructively. - Increased Empathy:
Self-awareness allows us to recognise and manage our own biases, enabling us to be more empathetic and understanding towards our partner’s perspective. By acknowledging our own emotional triggers, we can respond to our partner’s needs with more compassion. - Healthier Boundaries:
By understanding our own needs and limits, we can establish and maintain healthy boundaries, preventing codependency and resentment. Self-awareness helps us communicate our boundaries clearly and respectfully, fostering mutual respect in relationships. - Personal Growth:
Self-awareness fosters personal growth, enabling us to work on our flaws and become a better partner, friend, and individual. As we develop self-awareness, we become more resilient, adaptable, and better equipped to navigate life’s challenges with confidence and purpose.
Cultivating Self-Awareness
- Mindfulness and Reflection:
Regular mindfulness practices and self-reflection can help you develop a deeper understanding of yourself. Schedule time for reflection, whether through journaling, meditating, or simply taking a quiet walk in nature. - Journaling:
Writing down your thoughts, feelings, and experiences can provide valuable insights into your motivations and behaviors. Reflect on your journal entries to identify patterns, gain clarity, and develop a greater understanding of yourself. - Seek Feedback:
Ask trusted friends, family, or a therapist at Counselor Prince & Associates Consult (CPAC) for feedback on your strengths and areas for improvement. Be open to constructive criticism and use it as an opportunity for growth and self-awareness. - Embrace Imperfection:
Recognise that nobody is perfect, and it is okay to make mistakes. This mindset allows you to approach self-awareness with kindness and compassion, fostering a more positive and growth-oriented relationship with yourself.
As we cultivate self-awareness, we embark on a journey of growth, discovery, and transformation. By understanding ourselves, we can build stronger, more resilient relationships, and live a more authentic, meaningful life. Self-awareness is not a destination; it is a continuous process of learning, growing, and evolving—and one that requires patience, kindness, and compassion towards ourselves and others.
In conclusion, self-awareness is the cornerstone of healthy, fulfilling relationships. By understanding ourselves, we can communicate more effectively, empathise with our partner, and cultivate personal growth. As we strive to build stronger relationships, let us prioritise self-awareness, embracing our true selves, and loving ourselves for who we are. By doing so, we will become better partners, friends, and individuals—capable of building more profound, lasting connections with others, and living a life that truly reflects our values and aspirations.
To be continued …
By Counselor Prince Offei
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ONE profession which society has battled with is prostitution. Prostitutes can’t be stopped in their tracks. Soldiers have tried, policemen have doubled and redoubled to keep them off the streets. But the prostitute is like the cockroach. Sack it from the kitchen and it moves to the toilet where it can enjoy self-contained facilities. Drive it away from there and it scurries to the bedroom to become the landlord.
Prostitutes can live on land and sea. They are mysterious and defy gravity, a feat—even birds of the air have not successfully accomplished. They can change form and appear as bar girls; they dress like students; act like scholars and speak Oxford English. They are also like the chameleon but once their clients can identify them, no problem. The Sikaman prostitute normally enters the business as an amateur, having been introduced by a professional or a caricature of a pimp. But she learns quickly.
In a short time, she is able to take any size without wailing, unless of course the size is “international”.
Prostitutes are of every tribe, height, weight, colour and notoriety. These days, some are well-schooled with diplomas and degrees. They enter into the world’s oldest profession due to factors ranging from poverty to nymphomania.
Most prostitutes in Sikaman are often not sophisticated in outlook and modus operandi. Often, they easily betray themselves with their gaudy appearance, over-painted faces, skimpy skirts, cigarette in hand, walking with that kind of bottom-wriggling gait that can instantly turn a devoted clergyman into a he-goat.
In developed countries like Spain, prostitution takes different forms. Apart from those you can grab from the cheap bars and ghettos for single night stands and those managed by shameless pimps, there are some who are organised by well-established syndicates and specialised agencies.
If you need a girl for the night, you only have to telephone an agency, describing the kind and breed you want—race, height, size, colour (chocolate?), rudeness, smoking type, strip-teasing, shyness, whatever.
You give your address and the girl on time. You pay by the hour and cost per hour can make you feel dizzy without falling down. You’ll still be steady for the showdown.
The girls have been trained to use tricks and communication skills to make their clients spend several hours without really doing anything. A typical prostitute will make you drink, chat at length (they are very knowledgeable), cook for you, bathe you and breast-feed you. That takes some three hours and you have to pay if you still want her services.
If you grow a bit wiser and protest, and insist vehemently that you are tired of being babied and want some real action now, she’ll do another hour of strip-tease and belly-dance by which time you’re either bored or charged to bursting point.
And finally you will do it but never without a condom. And the kind of condom she’ll give you can’t be torn by any knife around the globe, not even okapi. Before you’re finally through, you’ve got some five-hour helluva bill to pay. Next time round, you’ll think twice and go in for the cheap-side who’ll even allow you to do it without condoms if you are tired of living and want to die of AIDS.
In Sikaman, apart from those who operate from hotels and bars, some operate in private homes. The clients come and line-up, each with a hard-on. When the queue is not moving fast some begin to sweat because they have a very low sexual boiling point. If they are not ushered in quickly they can cause problems.
They’ll start grunting and stamping and can disrupt the peaceful and orderly procedure. As it were, such clients need priority attention so that they do not cause a riot and disturb the public peace.
Incidentally, prostitutes don’t like dealing with such clients because they are bad business. They have no biblical patience at all. They rush too much, and that was why a prostitute once asked a client whether he was a Russian because he rushed a bit too much and messed up things.
Prostitution in Sikaman has taken a new turn. Girls as little as sixteen are selling their bodies sometimes with the passive connivance of their mothers. When the girls go out at 9.00 p.m. and return at 3.00 a.m, their mothers let them in without asking questions. Next day, the house is properly fed from the proceeds of the night adventure and everybody is happy and nobody talks. If you talk, no breakfast for you tomorrow morning.
The police are doing quite a job trying to get them off the streets but they go and return just like the cockroach. Many of them are surely agents for the transmission of the AIDS virus because they permit clients to forgo the condom. They only have to pay extra for the “raw” service.
Now, the idea of legalising prostitution has been a very controversial one. If prostitutes can hardly be gotten off the streets since they are defiant and are now very many, why not legalise the profession, issue licences (not to kids), offer them health services and health education, teach them how to protect themselves and others from sexually transmitted diseases and then compel them to pay tax?
That would force children out of the trade because the legal operators will themselves force out the kids who will be competing with them. They would even assist the police to kick out the 15 and 16 year olds.
If a bad phenomenon cannot be wiped out, a way must be found to make it less and less harmless, so that while it doesn’t benefit society in any grand way, it does not also harm it.
Any suggestions?
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