Obaa Yaa
I am not interested in her
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 30 years and she is 26 years. We are in the same training college. I met this lady who looks exactly like my sister two years ago.
I approached and informed her about her resemblance to my late sister. I told her of my willingness to take her as a sister and she accepted.
This lady is financially sound, therefore, all the financial difficulties that I faced during the initial stages in the training college were catered for by her.
I sometimes take her home and all my siblings liked her.
I have a feeling that the interest the lady has developed in me is beyond the ‘brother and sister.’
Sometimes, she mentions marriage to me but I don’t take it seriously. Recently, she brought the issue of marriage and I told her point blank that it would not be possible.
The next morning I heard she had been taken to the hospital. She was still unconscious when I visited her at the hospital.
I told my mother about the issue and said, she would be happy to have her home.
Obaa, I have this lady at heart as a sister and I don’t have any feelings for her as a partner. Now considering the situation, I am very confused and don’t know what to do.
Duker, Amasaman.
Dear Duker,
IN your letter, you did not state what made this girl unconscious. Did she fall into coma due to broken- heart?
If so, you may be able to help in her recovery.
The problem comes from you in a way. When she was spending on you, you should have known that she was not doing it out of mere sisterly love.
She is ill and you must co-operate to get her back to normal health. She would need your attention and care in order to recover. By then, she will be able to cope with the fact that things are not what she expected to be. First things first, help her recover fully and candidly exude all your feelings to her.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I GOT married to a lady from my hometown (name withheld) because tradition does not allow us to marry people from other places. We have been living in Europe for the past six years after marriage, but she is very demanding.
For all these years, anytime my wife gets pregnant, she’ll always tell me she wants to deliver in Ghana so that she can get some help in taking care of the baby. Meanwhile, giving birth in Europe would have been a great benefit to my wife.
However, my wife is currently in Ghana to give birth to our second child and wants to spend about six months. Luckily, her brother disclosed to me about the building projects my wife was handling. That’s how I found out she wants to deliver in Ghana to supervise them. Obaa Yaa, I am confused.
—Enoch, Hamburg
Dear Enoch
I DON’T really understand why your wife is playing smart. From the look of things, both of you are happily married and making memories. The question is, what stops her from telling you that she is building in Ghana and needs your support?
I will suggest that you demand to know from her the source of the money she is using for the projects. Open communication is key to resolving this matter and ensuring trust in your marriage.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I AM a 30-year-old lady who holds a degree in Business Administration from the University of Ghana (Legon). I am married to a very wealthy man who provides me with everything I need.
My problem, however, is that my husband doesn’t want me to work. His explanation is that I am too beautiful, and for that matter, he is scared to lose me. His explanation doesn’t make sense, and I am very angry about his decision.
Secondly, the children are too young, and he is also not ready to employ a nanny, which makes me feel that I am a prisoner. This is a serious problem, and if I am not careful, it will affect my health since I am always indoors. I need your view on this, Obaa Yaa.
—Tina, Ada
Dear Tina
I UNDERSTAND where you are coming from because you want to work and explore. In this era, even if your husband is a billionaire, you need to work to make your own money in case any misfortune happens.
He pays me GH₵5,000 every month for being a housewife, so he doesn’t see the need for me to stress myself about work. I am not happy with this sort of life because, as a woman, it is not everything that I can ask from him. This has been my headache for some time now. Initially, I didn’t see it as a problem, but I realised that in the 21st century, being an independent woman is the best.
For close to five years, I have virtually been under house arrest; I am getting the feeling along the line that when only one person shoulders all costs at home, it makes the other person feel useless.
You need to have a heart-to-heart talk with your husband. Tell him that even if he doesn’t want you to work for any company, he should set up a business for you to manage to reduce the boredom in your life. I hope that if you subtly put this point across, he will change his mind and get you something to do.
