Obaa Yaa
I am not interested in her
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 30 years and she is 26 years. We are in the same training college. I met this lady who looks exactly like my sister two years ago.
I approached and informed her about her resemblance to my late sister. I told her of my willingness to take her as a sister and she accepted.
This lady is financially sound, therefore, all the financial difficulties that I faced during the initial stages in the training college were catered for by her.
I sometimes take her home and all my siblings liked her.
I have a feeling that the interest the lady has developed in me is beyond the ‘brother and sister.’
Sometimes, she mentions marriage to me but I don’t take it seriously. Recently, she brought the issue of marriage and I told her point blank that it would not be possible.
The next morning I heard she had been taken to the hospital. She was still unconscious when I visited her at the hospital.
I told my mother about the issue and said, she would be happy to have her home.
Obaa, I have this lady at heart as a sister and I don’t have any feelings for her as a partner. Now considering the situation, I am very confused and don’t know what to do.
Duker, Amasaman.
Dear Duker,
IN your letter, you did not state what made this girl unconscious. Did she fall into coma due to broken- heart?
If so, you may be able to help in her recovery.
The problem comes from you in a way. When she was spending on you, you should have known that she was not doing it out of mere sisterly love.
She is ill and you must co-operate to get her back to normal health. She would need your attention and care in order to recover. By then, she will be able to cope with the fact that things are not what she expected to be. First things first, help her recover fully and candidly exude all your feelings to her.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We bumped into each other on orientation day as freshers on campus. I liked his smile, his choice of words, and charisma. I didn’t hesitate at all when he asked for my contact. Who wouldn’t want to be friends with a guy like this, I said to myself.
We texted more often, had conversations on phone, and our friendship literally grew very strong. We attended lectures together, studied together, hanged out together; everyone thought we were lovers.
He did everything for me—surprise dates, thoughtful gifts, pays my academic fees, and gives me a listening ear everyone would wish for.
One evening at a friend’s birthday party, standing in the middle of the audience, he proposed and asked me to be his girlfriend. I declined his proposal; this was because I have no feelings for him, and I just want us to be friends.
He is a man with good morals, so gentle, God-fearing, ambitious, a man every lady would wish for, but my heart just wasn’t in it. I wondered if love was supposed to be this complicated: the more he did, the more I felt like a friend, not a lover. He still wants me, but I want us to be just friends. What should I do?
Naa Kwarley, Kaneshie.
Dear Naa Kwarley,
This is a tough situation, and you’re handling it with both kindness and firmness.
Since you’ve already told him you’re not interested in a romantic relationship, it’s crucial to be clear and direct while still being respectful. I’d advise you to reiterate your feelings to him, emphasising that you value him as a person and appreciate what he’s done, but you see him more as a close friend. Make it clear that you hope you can still maintain a strong friendship, but it can’t be anything more.
It’s essential to be prepared for him to need space or time to process, so be patient and understanding.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a regular reader of your highly esteemed paper and I would like to know whether some amount of money is paid to those who write short stories for publication on the children’s page of your Weekly Spectator.
I wrote a short story which was published last month, and my friends who saw it told me that a token will be paid to anyone whose story is published.
A.J., Kwabenya.
Dear A.J.,
We don’t pay for short stories published on our children’s page. That opportunity is to encourage school children to develop the habit of writing. We believe that by publishing their short stories, they’ll be encouraged to write more.
The paper is open to everyone who wants to share ideas or write about a concern.
