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Obaa Yaa

I am in a state of dilemma

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 Dear Obaa Yaa,

My name is Owusu and I am 35- years -old while my wife is 30 years. We have been married for five years but been together for seven years. We have two children together and they are doing so well in their academics.

My company had a conference at a hotel in Kumasi and four of us from my department were selected to represent the company.

During lunch, I decided to take a stroll and enjoy the scenery around the hotel since it’s my first time there.

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As I strolled around, I was shocked to see my wife step out of a car with a young man. They started walking towards the reception of the hotel. The man placed his arms around her waist and they seemed to be enjoy­ing each other’s company.

I froze and felt bad. I wanted to shout and approach them but when I opened my mouth, no words came out and my feet were too heavy to drag. I just watched them in awe as they checked in at the reception and disappeared from my sight.

I am in my mother’s house now, I do not know how I will face her if I eventually go home. I told her my mom needs help with a few things at the house so I will lend a helping hand and also sleep over. I haven’t told anyone but my mom suspects that something is wrong.

I am down right now, my mar­riage and home seem to be coming to an end. Please what should I do?

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Sakyi, Adenta.

Dear Sakyi,

**********

I understand how you feel and I plead with you to continue to be patient with your wife.

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Please try and go home to have a word with her concerning the inci­dent you saw.

Give her the benefit of doubt to explain what she was exactly doing there at that time with the man.

I am pleading with you to give her a second chance but most important­ly, kindly inform her parents about it to talk to her.

You can seek the help of a profes­sional counselor and go for therapies with her.

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However, if you are not comfort­able staying with her, please part ways with her peacefully. You can co-parent your daughter.  

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Obaa Yaa

He introduced me wrongly

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Dear Obaa Yaa,

I visited my boyfriend at his office only to meet him and a young lady having a serious chat.

He politely introduced the lady to me as his workmate and also introduced me as a friend without telling the lady that I am his lover.

When he came home and I went over to spend the night, he seemed not to find any fault with what he did.

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He was rather giving attitude and pretending as if I don’t even exist in his life.

I then told him I was not happy that he did not give me the proper acknowledgment as his lover.

Do you think he has something up his sleeve and did not want the lady he called workmate to know that we are lovers?

Greetings,
Araba, Mamobi.

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Dear Araba,

FOR very good reasons, certain individuals would not want to publicise their love affairs. They believe love is a private matter and not for public consumption, and would prefer to run their relationships quietly.

Others also think that once they are not married and have not found the right person, there is no need introducing anyone until they are fully committed and envision a lifetime relationship.

So you cannot immediately judge the motive of your boyfriend for not introducing you appropriately, although it is also possible that he could have feelings for the other lady.

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However, do not get worked up. Stay calm, and with time, the truth will become clear.

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Obaa Yaa

My wife wants 2 more children

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Dear Obaa Yaa,

I HAVE been married for five years with three children. They are two boys and a girl.

Due to the economic situation prevailing in the country, I advised my wife to stop making babies. This is to enable us to cater for them and give them the best of education.

Unfortunately, my wife is not in agreement with the proposal but is bent on having two more children before she ends it.

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As a result, she has stopped taking the family planning precautions and wants us to have unprotected sex.

I am contemplating going in for vasectomy which will make me unable to produce children but all the same enjoy our sex life.

My fear is that if my wife discovers that she is not getting pregnant, she may be tempted to cheat on me.

Please advise me.

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Amevi, Ho.


Dear Amevi,

THE Bible says the two shall be one. In my opinion, one person cannot decide on the number of children to have.

There must be a mutual understanding between the two of you. You must be more communicative to agree on what will suit both of you.

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You must be able to convince your wife that the economic situation is not favourable for more children. And you must make her know that until your (both of you) financial circumstances improve, more children will be a burden on the family.

If she insists on more children, then she must justify it with an increase in her income and her willingness to take up the extra burden.

If she cannot justify it, then you can go for your vasectomy and let her know. That way, I think she cannot cheat on you and bring you a pregnancy that belongs to another person.

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