Obaa Yaa
He wants me to be his cousin
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My husband and I got married shortly after we completed senior high school. My mother then bought a ticket for him to go abroad where he went and stayed with my brother.
He went through some kind of marriage over there in order to get a good job, or so he said, and he asked me to be patient.
A few weeks ago, my husband wrote to say that he was coming home with his wife, and that I should pretend to be a cousin. I also heard they have a child.
I can’t do what he wants me to, even though everyone, including my mother thinks I should.
And I don’t want to be his wife only when he comes home. I want to join him over there because that was the arrangement.
Akweley, Accra
Dear Akweley,
Don’t let anyone force you into doing anything that you don’t want to do. If you can’t pretend, then don’t try.When you meet your husband, it is important to let him know how you feel about the arrangement.
And you will have to come to an agreement as to whether or not you want to continue with your marriage.
Whatever decision you come up to will not be easy for you, but do make sure that it is what is best for you.
• Kwabena kwabena in
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am torn between two guys and finding it very difficult to make a choice.
I have known the first guy for three years. We respect each other a lot. We started as just friends, but we recently began dating. Even though we don’t have much in common, he makes me feel loved and special.
Interestingly, I met the second guy only two weeks ago through a mutual friend. From the beginning, it has been nothing but good vibes between us. I enjoy his company, and we share many things in common. He is basically my type of man, both physically and mentally.
Now I feel like I have to choose, but I am lost and unsure who to go for.
—Esinam, Legon
Dear Esinam,
When it comes to love, everyone must take time to think carefully. You’re not just choosing a partner—you are choosing a potential husband and the father of your children, regardless of your current feelings.
Consider your priorities. Which of the two aligns better with your values, goals, and aspirations?
You might also reflect on:
- Emotional stability — Who offers long-term security and respect?
- Compatibility — Who truly understands you and shares your vision?
- Consistency — Who has shown genuine care over time?
- Future plans — Who fits into the life you want to build?
Attraction and good vibes are important, but so are character, compatibility, and long-term intentions.
Take your time, listen to your inner peace, and choose the one who fits not just your heart today, but your future tomorrow.
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 22-year-old lady at the University of Ghana, Legon. I realised my Grade Point Average (GPA) was very good and could even get a First Class if I put in more effort.
It is rather unfortunate that in Level 300, I have noticed a significant drop in my academic performance, which has left me both confused and worried about my future.
The increased workload and expectations at this level have been overwhelming, making it challenging to balance demanding courses with extracurricular activities and personal responsibilities.
This pressure has fuelled my anxiety, making it even harder to maintain my grades. The coursework is substantially more demanding, and I often find myself struggling to keep pace.
This sudden shift has been disheartening, and I can’t help but worry about the long-term impact it may have on my future.
Chelsea, Accra.
Dear Chelsea,
Although you have realised a significant drop in your grades, it does not mean that you should throw in the towel. See it as a signal to change your approach to studies.
Identify the subjects or topics you are struggling with and put in more effort. Create a study timetable to manage your time well, making sure you revise regularly instead of waiting until exams.
Don’t hesitate to ask teachers for clarification or join a study group with friends who understand the subject better.
Also, cut down distractions such as too much time on the phone or the use of social media when studying.
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https://whatsapp.com/channel/0029VbBElzjInlqHhl1aTU27
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