Relationship
Essential tips to foster love and respect in your marriage
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It’s no surprise that men and women are different. And, we’re not just talking about physical differences. Men and women think differently and find different things relevant to their lives.
Although both men and women value love and respect in marriage, according to marriage therapists, they look at love differently.
To women, they need love to survive. But then, so do men. How they view what love is and how they wish to receive it are very different from each other. One big key to a HYPERLINK “https:// www.marriage.com/advice/ relationship/how-to-build-deep-connections-stay-happy-interview-with-author-kira-asatryan/” happy marriage is understanding that and putting it into practice.
In short, women value love in an emotional sense. Men, however, crave respect.
So, if you have been thinking about ways on how to show respect to your husband or how to show HYPERLINK “https://www.marriage.com/ advice/love/importance-of-love-in-marriage/” love in marriage, look no further.
You are at the right place where you can pick up the language of love and respect as well as learn to show affection and respect to your spouse.
Here are 10 tips to bring more love and respect in marriage, with each person taking note of what the other person values and needs the most.
Show affection
What is love in marriage as far as women are concerned?
For women to feel loved, they need to be shown affection regularly. This is separate from HYPERLINK “https://www.marriage.com/ advice/physical-intimacy/” sex.
She needs hugs, kisses, cuddles, and loving touches. She needs to know that you love her in this way without it having to lead to intimacy every time. It makes her feel valued. And this is how a woman perceives love and respect in marriage.
Give her lots of attention
For women, another definition of love and respect in marriage is attention!
HYPERLINK “https:// www.marriage.com/advice/ relationship/things-women-want-from-their-husbands/” Women want a lot of attention. This can be shown in many ways, and it’s essential to pay attention to what your wife truly needs. Most women view attention as talking.
Husbands need to talk to their wives to show love and respect in marriage. The subject of the talking is less important than the sincerity behind it.
So ask how her day went, show an interest in what she did that day, ask questions about what she thinks about particular issues to express your respect and love in marriage.
Listen without giving advice
Women need your listening ear. Women are smart, capable people. They can figure out their problems pretty well. But they need your encouragement to do so.
If you have been wondering how to show love and respect in marriage, listen instead of trying to solve their problems.
Encourage her in what she feels is right. Validate that what she is feeling is perfectly normal.
Plan alone time, just the two of you
Husbands, your wives crave time with only the two of you together. So, remember that HYPERLINK “https://www.marriage. com/advice/relationship/ ways-to-have-a-quality-time-with-your-partner/” couples time is synonymous with love and respect in marriage for a woman.
During a regular day, she is working, finishing projects, coordinating with co-workers or friends; she is cleaning and organising and taking care of dinner.
Most of her day is spent doing things for other people. After a while, she gets depleted, and she feels completely disconnected from you.
What she wants is to relax and recharge with just you by her side. When she has that regularly—sometimes it needs to be scheduled, perhaps as a HYPERLINK “https://www. huffpost.com/entry/date-night-ideas-for-married-couples_b_1460693” \t “_blank” weekly date together—then she feels like you two are in this together, even though you spend a lot of your days doing separate things.
Parenting teens can be challenging. But it can also be a joy. The key is to know how to care for yourself, first and foremost. Before you have children, you might think that parenting will come naturally. And, to some degree, it does. But there are days (and sometimes months and years) when all parents could use some extra support.
Last week we looked at some four simple yet powerful approaches for parenting teens that build strong relationships for the long-run. Here are the remaining two:
4: Keep communication going
Because we are often busy and distracted, we do not always take the time to really focus on our kids when they’re trying to tell us something. Take advantage of the time you have together. Having dinner together as a family, using car time to talk, or chatting before bed are good ways to stay in daily touch with your teen. Prioritise quality time as well as quantity: Consider having breakfast out on the weekend as a special catch-up time to chat about the week. Or schedule monthly “family meetings” to discuss how things have been going and any conflicts that have arisen.
5. Be an empathetic listener
Listening with empathy and caring is one of the most important tips on parenting a teenager. Researchers have shown that people’s brain patterns synchronise when they listen closely to one another and watch each other’s expressions. As a result, the connection between them becomes stronger. Not feeling truly heard can lead to isolation and lack of self-esteem which are the root causes of anxiety, depression, and substance abuse. Therefore, take listening seriously. It’s not just a way of coping with teenagers; it has an enormous impact on their well-being.
The price of ‘I do’: Why money honesty is the real marriage insurance –Part 2
She did not find out he was cheating. She found out he was drowning.
It was two weeks after their beautiful wedding. The jollof was still in the fridge. A loan officer called her number-not his-and politely asked, “Madam, please tell your husband to pay his overdue loan. We have been calling him.”
That was how she discovered her new husband had entered their marriage with a hidden debt of over GH¢ 40,000. No cheating. No other woman. Just a financial secret.
And that is how many Ghanaian marriages begin to die. Not with a shout, but with a secret alert on a phone.
We prepare for the wedding. We do not prepare for the wallet.
What is money honesty?
Let me define it simply. Money honesty is not that you both earn the same. It is that you both know the same. It is the ability to sit down and say without fear:
“This is how much I earn.”
“This is how much I owe.”
“This is how I was raised to see money.”
“This is what scares me about money.”
Financial transparency is not about control. It is about clarity. You cannot build trust on top of secrets.
Many couples tell me, “Counsellor, we love each other, love will handle money.” I always answer, “Love is the car, but money honesty is the fuel. Love without honesty cannot move.”
How To Buy Your Marriage Insurance Today – My 5-Step Protocol
If you are engaged, newly married, or even 20 years in marriage, you can still fix this. At Counsellor Prince & Associates Consult—CPAC, this is what I give couples:
Step 1: The 90-Minute Money Naked Session.
No phones, no blame. Each partner writes down on paper: Monthly income, monthly debts, monthly family obligations, savings, and your biggest money fear. Then you exchange papers. Read it. Don’t react for 24 hours. Just absorb.
Step 2: Create OUR Money, YOUR Money, My Money.
You need three pots. OUR money for rent, food, school fees, utilities, properties, and the like— joint contribution. YOUR money and MY money—a small agreed allowance no one questions. This stops the feeling of being controlled.
Step 3: The No-Secret Debt Rule.
Agree from today: No new loan, no new hire purchase, no new family financial commitment above GHS 500 without telling each other first. Not permission, but information.
Step 4: Talk About Your Money Personality.
Are you a Spender or a Saver? Are you Risky or Safe? Most Ghanaian marriages are a Spender married to a Saver. Neither is wrong. But if you don’t understand your partner’s personality, you will call his saving “stinginess” and her spending “wastefulness.”
Step 5: Do a Monthly 30-Minute Money Date
Not an argument date. Light, with tea. “How did we do this month? What worried you? What should we plan for next month?” Couples who do this divorce far less.
My Final Word
Before you say “I Do” at the altar, have pre-marital counselling and also have the money talk on the sofa.
Ask your partner:
“If I lost my job today, how long can we survive?”
“What debt are you bringing into this marriage?”
“How much do you send to your family monthly and will that continue?”
If he or she gets angry that you asked, don’t get married yet. A person who is angry about accountability will be abusive about money.
Marriage insurance is not bought at Star Assurance or Enterprise. It is bought in honest conversations when no one is watching.
The wedding costs one day. The marriage costs a lifetime. Don’t enter a lifetime contract and covenant with hidden costs.
You can still insure your marriage today.
Source:
Counselor Prince Offei, CPAC’s founder, is a leading Mental Health Professional, Marriage Counsellor, Author, ADR Expert/Arbitrator, and Spectator Newspaper Columnist. He writes on relationships, marriage, parenting, special needs support, and their connection to mental health. For therapy, counselling, or enquiries, contact Counselor Prince & Associates Consult (CPAC) in Accra on 0559850604 / 0551428486.
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