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Dealing with suicidal tendencies
There have been a few suicide cases that have caused a lot of concern due to the ages of the persons involved. I recall the jumping to death of a female student of the University of Ghana, Legon.
Another case was the death of the daughter of a Member of Parliament of the current ruling New Patriotic Party. These are but a few of the suicide cases that have happened in our country and it is definitely a cause for concern.
This month, we will be celebrating the International Suicide Day which provides opportunity for government to highlight the issue of suicide and focus the attention of society on it.
Life is a much cherished thing and the survival instinct is very great and, therefore, for someone to deliberately decide to end his or her life is quite bizarre. It strongly suggests a certain degree of mental confusion which borders on insanity.
Someone said that “there is a certain degree of madness in every individual and the fact that a person goes and comes on a daily basis without any display of mental instability, does not mean that you are of a sound mind”.
It only needs something small to trigger the mental instability and the demonstration of the mental problem would start manifestation.
Causes of suicide vary from person to person. It is generally caused by stress that can be due to loss of say a loved one, rejection by family, lover etc. In the case of the young lady at KNUST who committed suicide, it was attributed to her being jilted by her lover and led to her decision to take her own life.
The lady who jumped to her death at Legon, it was also reported that she hinted that she sometimes felt like jumping from the top floor. All these point to the need for a psychiatric or counselling support centre that is easily accessible to students and society in general, so people who feel stressed can easily walk in to seek help.
There is also the need for an intensive educational effort by the Ministry of Health aimed at sensitising the populace about alertness towards potential suicidal people. In the case of the lady who committed suicide at Legon, may be a bit of awareness towards signs of suicidal tendencies by her colleagues might have saved her life.
People around us are those who can easily detect any changes in our normal behaviour and be the best people to detect if there is anything wrong with us.
However, if they are not trained to detect signs of danger in terms of mental disorders, they cannot help raise the alarm and before it is realised that something is amiss, it might be too late to save the situation.
COVID-19 has brought in its wake a lot of stress upon individuals both young and old and immediate steps must be taken by government to increase awareness of the potential for suicidal thoughts.
A couple of days ago, there was a reportage of a young boy in the Cape Coast Municipality who jumped to his death. The report had it that, the boy who was living with his father and step mother, had been receiving beatings on a frequent basis according to neighbours.
According to neighbours, on several occasions they had heard the boy crying at dawn due to beatings he had been subjected to by his father.
On the fateful day that he jumped to his death, he was apparently trying to escape from a similar beating from his father who had earlier gone to bring him to their room from outside and beaten him.
The neighbours claimed that it was after his father had left him briefly that he tried to escape by jumping from the storey building, resulting in his untimely death. If the neighbours had been a bit more proactive, they might have reported to the police about the abusive situation the child was going through and might have saved his life.
There is this social value that is gradually eroding but must be brought back. Those days that a neighbour would not hesitate to discipline you when you went wrong without waiting for your parents to return before informing them, is something worth considering.
The idea of being each other’s keeper seems to have vanished due to so-called human rights, modernisation and what have you. We are in an era where parents are bold enough to go to schools to attack teachers for caning their children and somehow get away with it. The times where people made it a point to interact cheerfully with their neighbours and were able to notice the changes in their mood, are long gone.
It has become an each one for himself situation and so there have been occasions where people have died and it has gone unnoticed till after a few days have gone by. That aspect of our social lives that served as a huge source of stress reliever, is gone and so a lot of people, especially women are stressed up.
The Ministry of Education has already initiated a programme of counselling for tertiary institutions but they must make it more proactive. The counsellors must interact with the students such that it would be easy for students to contact them and be ready to open up to them.
This is the only way that issues that are troubling these young adults, can be handled to relieve them of the pressures or stresses that push them into contemplating suicidal actions. The other group that has to be taken care of is the young people who are outside the educational system.
Special attention must be given them and government must develop a means for addressing their needs and also make “where to go for help” easily accessible.
The internet has also become an avenue for children to be abused and parents must pay attention to what their children do on the internet. Government must assist parents in this direction by making access to a hotline for parents available, so they can seek guidance should they find out that their children are being abused on the internet.
Again, should they want to block their children from certain sites, they must be given the assistance to do so. We are in a very complex and very challenging world and young people especially, are under a lot of pressure and everything possible must be done to protect them.
Parents now have a responsibility to pay more attention to their children and the government must do more to provide them with the necessary tools such as TV programmes that would educate them on how to detect signs of stress in their wards.
Civil society and the religious organisations must also be involved in this crusade to assist the parents so they in turn can assist the efforts by government, so that collectively, the protection of the youth from suicidal tendencies, would be achieved.
Laud Kissi-Mensah
A haircut I had about a week ago didn’t go down well with many. Someone quite close to my heart saw it, examined it critically and felt dizzy.
“What’s this?” she proceeded to ask me.
“An international hairdo,” I replied.
She was disgusted, in fact disappointed. The problem with the haircut is that the style is neither Punk, Tokyo Joe nor Show Your Back. If anything, it is a combination of all—and I liked it, for a change.
It was when I bounded downtown that someone called me and enquired whether I was no longer a journalist. He said I looked like a well-fed Warrant Officer.
“Class One or Class Two?” I asked.
Another studied my head as if he was studying physical geography and pronounced that I looked like a boxer who can throw dangerous punches. Still, someone was of the opinion that the haircut didn’t quite fit me, but admitted that I looked like a prosperous merchant.
Commendation
I remember some three months ago, I had a haircut that made two girls fall in love with me. In spite of the fact that the barber was not a graduate, the cut was such that they couldn’t help admiring it. One of them actually ‘checked out’ the style and commended the barber.
The other was more bent on the ‘love matter’ but I was too busy to give her any attention. LOVE!
I was reminded of this when I viewed a premier showing of the latest Sikaman film titled THE POWER OF LOVE. The film kept me thinking. Some of us have long forgotten about what it is like to be head-over-heels in love. When we were students, we had such experiences because there was nothing doing anyway.
We were either learning how stylishly to smoke ‘jot’ or how romantically to fall in love. Anyhow, I was intrigued by this latest movie because of the way love unlimited was portrayed on screen. It took my memory back many years to relive those youthful days when we felt we’d really die if jilted by our lovers.
The storyline of THE POWER OF LOVE is really an exciting one. The combination of love, treachery and intrigue made me feast my eyes intently on the screen, unbelieving the extent the force of love can reach.
Ama and Afua are good friends. But when it comes to matters of the heart, they have different tastes; Ama is content with only her boyfriend (a student) and Afua samples the bigwigs around town. Afua, not satisfied with the shots in town, wants Ama’s boyfriend Joe in addition. She lies to Joe that Ama has often been picked by a man on four-wheels, whereupon Joe dismisses Ama and takes on Afua.
Ama doesn’t realise that it is her best friend Afua who is destroying her relationship with Joe until she catches her having sex with him. She collapses and goes out of her mind from the broken heart. But before then, she had been made pregnant by Joe.
Having escaped from a psychiatric hospital, she roams town murmuring Joe’s name. Heavily pregnant now, she espies Joe boarding a mini bus and runs towards him. Joe, seeing her approaching, quickly disembarks and takes off.
Ama pursues him furiously, and he runs to his home where he finds his bosom friend Frank making love to Afua. He immediately realises the treachery of Afua who instigated him to leave Ama.
He intends leaving the home in disgust and meets mad Ama at the door and embraces her despite her madness. Instantly, she regains her sanity.
Love indeed heals the wounds of the mind and it is the greatest positive force in the world. Incidentally, the greatest negative force is hatred.
Greatest force
Now coming to talk about love, I reiterate it is the greatest force imaginable. That is why a man will butcher his rival to death if he catches him climbing his wife without asking permission; and a woman will go mad if jilted.
It is also for this reason that a young boy who is scared stiff of cemeteries and under normal circumstances would not dare go near one, will this time walk boldly through a cemetery at midnight if that is the only way to his lover’s abode.
The Bible describes love for our neighbours as the surest way to heaven: Love thy neighbour as thyself.
Unfortunately, what Ghanaians are more interested and skilful in is loving the opposite sex. Romance under the cover of darkness is what we understand love to be all about. When it comes to loving our fellow human beings, we are found wanting.
People hate others just because they are of another tribe and do not speak the same native language. Too much grudge-bearing that does not augur well for national development.
War in Liberia, carnage in Rwanda are the results of the absence of love for one’s fellow being. If everybody could express a little bit of love for his fellow being irrespective of tribe, race, politics or religion, Sikaman—and indeed, the world—will be a more habitable place.
This article was first published on Saturday, October 29, 1994
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“Sir,” Ms. Odame said when David Asante answered the call, “my name is Victoria Odame. I’m a teacher at Research School in Koforidua. I would like to come and see you concerning a student called Sarah.”
“Okay, madam. I would be very glad to meet you. How can I make your trip easier?”
“I was going to join a bus to Accra.”
“Here’s what we will do. Take a taxi and ask them to bring you to Accra. I will speak to the driver, give him the directions, and pay him when you get here.”
The taxi stopped in front of the house. The gate opened, and the driver moved to the long driveway and stopped.
“What a beautiful house,” he said.
David and Adoma came out to meet them. Adoma paid the driver as David and Sarah stared at each other.
“Please come in and sit down,” Adoma invited. She served them water.
“You are welcome,” Adoma continued. “We have been waiting anxiously since you called this morning. So please, let’s hear you.”
Before she could open her mouth, Sarah rose, moved to David, hugged him, and sat on his lap. They both broke into tears. Adoma and Ms. Odame also broke into tears.
“Sorry, madam,” David said. “This whole episode has been a very difficult one. But let’s do the proper thing. Let’s hear you first, and I will also speak. I’m sure we need to answer some questions immediately.”
“Okay, sir. I have been taking an interest in Sarah because, although she’s brilliant academically, she seemed to be troubled. Following my discussions with her and some whispers I had been hearing, I went to Aboso Senior High School and spoke to your former colleague, Mr. Hanson. He told me that you were an exemplary teacher who was loved by all, and he also told me about the unfortunate events that caused you to leave for Germany. So I returned to Koforidua with the view to finding the appropriate means of helping to solve this problem.”
“Great. Ms. Odame, I have to thank you for finally helping us to solve this problem. Now, let me state the facts. This is what happened.
“Gladys and I met and got married whilst we were both teachers in the school. Some months into our marriage, she told me that she needed to spend some days with her parents, and I agreed.
“It turned out that she was actually spending time in a hotel with her ex-boyfriend, Simon. This happened again after Sarah was born. I got wind of this and told her that I was no longer interested in the marriage.
“I started preparing to travel to Germany. She pleaded for forgiveness, but I stood my ground. Then she told me that she would punish me for rejecting her.
“She came out later to say that Sarah was not my child, but Simon’s. She went and hid her somewhere, obviously expecting that I would fight to take my child. I was actually going to do that, but my parents advised me that it was almost impossible to win such a fight.
“They advised that, difficult as it sounded, I should leave the child with her because she would come back to me eventually. I have absolutely no problem taking care of you, Sarah. I am taking care of quite a number of kids who are not mine. So that is what happened. My hands were tied. I have been trying to find out how you are doing.
“I kept hearing that you were doing well at school. I also heard that Gladys and her husband were having problems, but I kept hoping that my daughter would at least be okay till it was possible for me to go for her.”
“Sarah, now you have met your dad. You will be free to—”
“I’m not going anywhere!” she declared as she held on to him.
“You don’t have to worry about that, Sarah,” Adoma said. “We have been looking forward to the day you come home. This is your home. Now, you have to meet your siblings.” She called Abrefi and Adaawa.
“Girls, we told you that you have a sister who would join us anytime. Now here she is.”
“Sarah?” Abrefi asked.
“Yes,” Adoma replied. The girls hugged her and took her away.
“Now,” David said, “I think it is time to call Madam Gladys.” He dialed the number.
“My name is David Asante. I’m here in my house with my daughter Sarah. I hear you have told her all sorts of crazy stories about me. I could make life very difficult for you, but I won’t.
“You are your own worst enemy. I don’t think you should be expecting her anytime soon. What do you say?”
Gladys stayed silent for over a minute, then cut the line.
“Food is ready,” Adoma announced. “Everybody, please come to the table.”
Sarah chatted excitedly with her siblings as Adoma and David spoke with Ms. Odame. She kept staring at her father.
“Now, Ms. Odame, after you have brought such joy into our home, should we allow you to go back to Koforidua today, or should we wait till we are ready to release you? I could call your husband and ask permission.
“And please don’t tell me you didn’t bring anything for an overnight stay. There are several supermarkets around here. We can fix that problem quickly.”
“I will beg you to release me. Now that I have been so warmly welcomed here, I already feel part of this home. Koforidua is not that far away, so I will visit often.”
“Well, let’s see what the kids have to say. Ladies, shall I release Ms. Odame to go back to Koforidua?”
“No!” they shouted, and all broke into laughter.
“Ms. Odame, I will have mercy on you. But we are going to do something to make it easy for you to visit us. My wife wants to show you something. Please follow her.”
Adoma led her to the driveway as the others followed. They stopped in front of the car.
“This is a Toyota Corolla 1600. It is very reliable and good on petrol consumption. We are giving this to you in appreciation of your help in getting our daughter back to us.
“And here in this envelope is a little contribution to help you with maintenance. And here in this other envelope is a gift to help with your children’s school fees.”
As she stood, stunned, and stared from the car to the envelopes, David put his hand around his family.
“Let’s leave her to take a look at her car. Ms. Odame, one of my drivers will drive you to Koforidua and leave your car with you. We are waiting inside.”
By Ekow de Heer
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