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 An SOS call from the motorway

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Sikaman Palava

Driver from Accra to Tema is often thrilling when you hit the fast-track idea and get cracking down the motorway almost airborne. In six or seven minutes, you must ease up. Welcome to the Harbour City.

While decelerating, you are like­ly to look to the left, and there lies Ashaiman, a town of many parts. You are forced to make a slight bow in honour of one of Sikaman’s unkempt habitations. That is also where some armed robbers are born and bred, using the motorway for their practical attachment.

Some of the robbers were not born criminals, though. They began life as corn-mill attendants and as magi­cians, but magic is not paying these days. Armed robbery is the single most lucrative profession today after church business. So the magicians now turn to procure arms not to fight a civil war, but to make money.

Along the length of the motor­way, there are various camps for the robbers, some of whom come from Baatsona area, some from Accra suburbs and of course Ashaiman, otherwise known as Hanoi. Business begins at about 8:30 p.m. on week days, 7:00pm at weekends and public holidays.

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The targets are motorists. There is an overhead bridge somewhere along the motorway, from where some crim­inals drop boulders or blocks on cars to disconcert the drivers. It is a trick to get them to stop to find out what the hell is happening. They are then pounced upon and robbed.

Cars that break down are rath­er easy prey. The robbers just walk leisurely to the driver and demand all the money on him, his briefcase, watch, shoes, shirt, trousers and all. If you are not careful, you can end up at home like a mad man completely naked.

That is, if you are not lucky and they ask you to hand over your “sup­porter” as well.

Well, if you are a lady, you can well imagine your fate.

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The problem with the motorway is that when you break down at night, the palaver is between you and your God. No motorist is prepared to stop and help you because everyone is thinking you might be an armed rob­ber posing as a motorist in distress.

On February 1, 2001, I was cruising comfortably on the motorway in my Concord, listening to some good music on Atlantis FM, wishing to get home early to catch some rest. Perched on the front seat beside me was a lady colleague I lifted. She usually alights at the end of the motorway.

I was enjoying the ride and it was about 5:50 p.m. when the Concord developed a fault with all the jerks and power off. I veered into the pedestrian lane and realised I was really in for it. Luckily, a taxi had also developed a fault and a mechanic was fixing it up. He came up to me and asked to help. I opened the bonnet.

He did what he could and asked me to start the engine. It kicked into life and I was delighted. “What’s my charge?

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He picked up the money and I zoomed away. 100 metres away, the car grounded to a halt again. I asked the lady to stay by the car; I’ll do a quick dash to fetch the mechanic.

“I’m afraid,” she said. “What of if armed men come here?”

Okay, I’ll stay here. Walk briskly and get the mechanic down. He took the money and did no job. Drag him right here.”

She walked back to get the me­chanic. It was about 6:30 pm and she wasn’t getting back early enough with the guy. I was worried. I started walk­ing after her to see what the hell was happening. I saw her from the dis­tance returning alone. “Jesus Christ of Nazareth,” I said to myself.

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I didn’t know I was such a good Christian. The word “Jesus Christ came naturally to me, the only one who could save me.

The lady and I now started waving down speeding motorists and none stopped. One attempted to stop, but I guess he decided otherwise when he saw my height and frame.

I am six feet tall and I look like a semi-professional heavyweight before. Actually I can deliver a slugger when it comes to it, but that has never been my style. I’m quite sure the man who decided to stop but sped on thought I was a very dangerous crimi­nal playing a trick.

The lady and myself kept begging for anybody to stop and just listen to what we had to say. For about one hour, we were at it. At a certain point, I wanted to kneel down so that passing motorists would not be terri­fied at my height. Of course, nothing worked so far.

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I had to seek the face of God. Ear­lier, I had alerted Jesus Christ that an SOS call was in the pipeline. I started praying silently to myself. The time was about 7:45pm. Time was running out. “Oh Jesus, it is only you who can deliver me, Kwame Alomele and this lady from evil. If you don’t do it, who else can? Our trust is all in you….”

It is a long time since I attended church, and I wondered whether Jesus was listening to me. “Jesus, you came to redeem sinners, not the righteous,”

I reminded Him, “Please, save me.” And He did.

A car sped by but miraculously screeched to a halt about 100 metres away “Oh glory! Oh glory!” I intoned.

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A man came out. “I think I know Are you not the writer?”

Yes sir. My car broke down here and none is stopping to help us out. What’s your name sir?”

That’s not necessary now. I’ll get you to Tema and then we can find a mechanic or someone to tow your car.”

I picked up my briefcase, removed the tape and locked the power win­dows. We hopped into his car and off we went, leaving the Concord behind. Even if they removed the wind­screens, it could be better than going home naked.

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It was about 9:00 pm when we tracked down my mechanic and by the time I finally got home it was 11:00 am. A day well spent on a motorway that had no police patrol, no security of my sort, to phone system, nothing. That is why the armed robbers are having a field day on Ghana’s beloved motorway.

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Female bodies for sale

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A man and a woman walking together

It is still the contention of my uncle, Kofi Jogolo, that the moment God created woman, He created a big problem for man. If not, why would man always have to trim his moustache in such a way as to please woman and not himself? And why would a man’s holy organ keep nodding like an agama lizard just because there is a creation called woman?

Sikaman Palava
Sikaman Palava

Sir Kofi Jogolo whose moustache deserves both a national award and mention in the Guinness Book of Records for its stylish variations, told me recently that when you marry, you have palaver; if you don’t marry, you have wahala. All because of woman. I think the bloke is a reincarnation of Paul. Only he looks like Peter.

For those who do not marry, they may be free of marital problems, but might be in sexual bondage, because at dawn, a certain part of the body might nod in distress. It is a wonderful part of the human body that smiles with joy when a woman is lying within arm’s length.

The unmarried may not have to wait until dawn, though. After all, who says you can satisfy a sexual need only at dawn? If there is no girlfriend, there is still a way out. FEMALE BODIES FOR SALE! You only have to ask, “How much?” Sometimes it is worth the price of only two balls of kenkey.

It is for this reason that some people do not discourage women from practising prostitution because they claim the women play a vital role in national development. According to them, first, the nation cannot develop when the citizens are sex-starved. Second, they claim prostitution keeps down figures of rape cases since it is due to the scarcity of female bodies that the incidence of rape is rising.

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Well, some people really adore prostitutes. With them you don’t have to worry about pregnancy. Moreover, you can skip foreplay which many people don’t have the patience for because of their high sexual temperature, or because they consider it a waste of time. And when you pay well, you can enjoy the style you want.

In actual fact, some married men also go in for prostitutes once in a while. They claim that prostitutes do not complain in bed like their wives. When you ask them to raise a leg, they comply without argument.

They also say prostitutes who are experienced can really work on certain parts of your body enough to make you blaspheme. Holy Jesus! The difference is clear then that with prostitutes you pay for the service but with wives it is for free, meaning that the quality of service must differ accordingly.

Many men also say they prefer prostitutes to girlfriends because of “back-pocket palaver”. It is their contention that with girlfriends you have to specialise in telling lies about your credit worthiness especially when you’re not only a human being but also a church mouse.

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Sometimes you have to buy beer and gin because some girlfriends would not like to have sex unless they are properly soaked in booze. You also have to sing them lullabies and recite poetry to turn them on. Ask Devine Ankamah. That’s not all. When all is finished, you have to dish transport money, and if you’re not lucky she’d ask you to settle a “carry forward” you had planned to dodge.

So for just two probably lousy rounds of enjoyment, you’d spend some ¢15,000 if hotel services are included, unless you choose a hotel room where cockroaches and rats don’t practise family planning.

There are those who believe that with prostitutes, you don’t have to tell lies. It is purely business. No credit, no debit. Money na hand back na ground. When you are through and refuse to pay, she’ll cause a scene, scratch your face red and drag your butt onto the street. Next time you don’t have money, you stick to your wife or girlfriend or to your sorrows.

Prostitution in Sikaman is widespread. News reaching Palava have it that in the Obuasi area, it is the major occupation of females. They are in lucrative business. They come from all over the country -Bolga, Tamale, Kumasi, Sunyani, Accra, Odumase, wherever. A few are said to have come from Lagos in full gear.

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When they all come, they sometimes don’t do so with only their bodies and luggage. They also carry with them something small in the form of a disease called AIDS which they distribute free of charge.

So why Obuasi? Gold! The great successes of Ashanti Goldfields combined with the notoriety and boom of galamsey activities have acted as a magnet, drawing in those who peddle their bodies for cash. No cheques!

Sometime back, it was reported that AIDS cases in the Obuasi area had soared. The reason, prostitution. Obuasi prostitutes are, however, of class. They dress to kill. Some speak even more languages, so if you’re a client and you speak even in tongues, they understand. And they drink beer exactly like Germans.

So what really are we doing about these prostitutes who, some say are contributing to national development and others say are enhancing national obituary?

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Sikaman Palava has said it once that the law enforcement agencies have tried time and again to rid them off the streets. They have always failed in doing so. The problem is that they are as slippery as the cockroach. When harassed, they disappear and practise all the same. If caught, they are fined and the next day they are firmly at post.

Some people say because we can’t get rid of them, we must neither encourage nor discourage them. We must find a way of organising them into co-operatives under the name of “SPECIAL HUMAN SERVICES.”

They’d undergo medical screening and those with AIDS banned from practising. The rest would undergo a course in the cause, prevention and cure of sexually-transmitted diseases, personal hygiene, condom use and the healthful ways of practising prostitution.

Then they can be let loose to practise under laid-down rules and regulations and their income taxed.

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That way, the prostitutes would be more beneficial to society and would not be the problem we see them to be.

 This article was first published on Saturday June 29, 1996

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The right mindset is everything

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This year June and part of July, is an enjoyable season for football lovers due to the World Cup which is held every four years.  The World Cup is such a huge event and also very prestigious so it is highly competitive. 

Countries registered with the Federation of International Football Association, (FIFA) become automatic members.  FIFA organises tournaments on the five continents of the world, to enable countries to be selected to play in the World Cup competition. 

Governments support their national teams to ensure qualification to the World Cup due to the prestigious nature of the tournament.  Certain countries even go to the extent of renting a place of their choice, instead of the accommodation provided by FIFA, to ensure that they win the ultimate crown, as Germany did in the 2014 tournament in Brazil. 

Mental strength a requisite for emerging victorious in football matches at such high professional level and everything must be done to endure that players are focused on the matches ahead of them.

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There is however, a peculiar situation in this year’s World Cup, where it is being hosted by three countries namely the United States of America, Mexico and Canada and where one of the host countries, is at war with one of the competing countries. 

The United States of America, is waging a war against Iran.  The US has prevented Iran from staying in the US where they were originally scheduled by FIFA to play their matches.  The US using its power as the host country, has refused to let Iran to stay and FIFA has provided a place in Mexico for the Iranian team to stay.  They have to spend about five hours to fly to the US and prepare to get ready for their matches, each match day. 

They are also forced to leave the US as soon as they finish playing their matches, without resting.  Despite this inhumane treatment being forced on them by the USA, the Iranian team is mentally strong and have managed to draw their two matches played.  

This is a clear manifestation of mental toughness, resulting from having the right mindset.

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Life has a way of often dealing bad cards to a lot of people but it is important that when it happens like that, you look at what you can do with what you have, to still achieve the goals you have set for yourself.

 There is a saying that when life throws you a lemon you make lemonade out of it.  The barriers confronting you might be great, but it is the attitude you display that makes the difference. 

The Iranians have really shown that the right mindset is indeed everything you need to be successful.  They looked at their situation and assessed what was not going in their favour and found appropriate steps to address it. 

Given the teams Iran was to play, the challenge was indeed huge, given the circumstances they found themselves in, but the right mindset to never give up, did the trick for them.

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As human beings, we are always confronted with challenges, right from the day we start to crawl, the day we take our first steps and as we continue to grow into adulthood.  Challenges are part of our daily lives and we must therefore condition our minds, that we shall encounter them and so must constantly be innovative in overcoming them, when we encounter them. 

We need as a country, to develop a critical thinking skill capabilities in our youth, as an investment in the future fortunes of this country.  Developing the right mindset, will enable us overcome every challenge.  God bless.

By Laud Kissi-Mensah

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