Obaa Yaa
I am hurt by his actions
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
As teenagers, we attended the same Senior High School and became close friends after some years.
Having gotten satisfied with the hope that we could spend our lives as a lovely couple, we planned to tie the knot.
Unfortunately, l lost my father through a fatal motor accident and this had affected our scheduled wedding.
We had no choice but to reschedule our wedding to enable me to concentrate on my father’s funeral.
He stood by me during our period of grief through to the burial of my late father.
During the period, l discovered that my fiancé had changed since he did not have time for me as he used to.
When l complained about change in his attitude, he told me that he wanted me to relax after l was done with my father’s funeral.
At the time the dust had settled for us to get back to serious business, my fiancé had changed and did not have time for me again.
The change in attitude gave me the premonition that there was something bad going on in our relationship.
Three weeks ago, l deduced from his statement that we could not live as a couple in the future.
However, l tried to conceal my anger and prayed that things should change.
A few weeks later, he disclosed to me that he was no longer interested in the relationship because his mother was against it.
l was embarrassed and planned never to accept proposal from any gentleman in life.
Should l go by my decision?
Tina, Takoradi.
Dear Tina,
l feel sorry that but for the demise of your father, your scheduled marriage with this gentleman could have taken place.
It is unfortunate that your relationship has ended this way.
l can envisage the pains you are experiencing now. Take heart and brace up for a better future because you cannot understand God’s plan for you. This marriage could have ended on a bad note.
Though l cannot tell how old you are, l must advise you not to shut your doors to any gentleman who may express the interest to marry you in the future.
You are yet to meet your Mr right.
A CEO visited his office and saw a man who was scrolling through his phone while sitting on a sofa.
The CEO asked, “What are you doing?”
The man replied, “Wasting my time until I’ll get paid.”
The CEO was furious, “What is your weekly salary!?”
Man, “$1000”
The CEO counted $2000 and gave it to the man, “Take this money and get out! You don’t work here anymore!”
The man silently took the money and left.
CEO walked up to the reception, “By the way, who was this guy?”
The receptionist said, “Pizza delivery”.
I didn’t understand why my father abandoned me as a child until he appeared recently and told me my mom placed a curse on him.
I was about thirteen or fifteen, my mom took me to the front of a big house and told me that is where I belong.
I knocked the door and the man sacked me from the house to go back to my mother.
Life with my mother was very tough until God came through for me to gain a scholarship.
Years later, I’d returned from abroad when this man walked up to me apologising.
I take care of him and provide him with everything. He needs my attention but I doubt if he will get that from me because he didn’t take care of me.
Jojo, USA.
Dear Jojo,
This is such a heart breaking story. No child deserves to grow up wondering why a parent was absent or feeling abandoned.
If your father’s explanation is true, the responsibility for leaving you still rests with him. A curse, fear, or conflict with your mother may explain his decisions, but it does not excuse abandoning his child.
Parents have a duty to love, protect, and remain present in their children’s lives, regardless of the problems between them.
Now that he has returned, it is reasonable to listen to what he has to say, but you do not have to accept everything without question. Ask him honest questions about why he stayed away for so many years, why he never tried to reach you, and what he hopes to achieve by reconnecting now. His willingness to take responsibility for his choices is more important than the explanation he gives.
At the same time, try not to carry the burden of your parents’ conflict. Whatever happened between them was their issue, not yours. You were an innocent child who deserved the love and presence of both parents.
If you choose to rebuild a relationship with your father, let it happen gradually. Trust is earned through consistent actions, not just words. If you decide not to have a close relationship with him, that is also your right. Forgiveness, if you choose it, should be for your own peace of mind, not because you are obligated to overlook the pain you experienced.
Most importantly, remember that your worth was never determined by your father’s absence. His choices reflect his decisions, not your value as a person.
The past cannot be changed, but how you respond now can help you find healing and peace.
