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Obaa Yaa

Should l take revenge on my ex boyfriend?

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Dear Obaa Yaa,

We were friends from the Senior High School and became lovers throughout our stay in the university. Our friendship developed to the stage that he said ” l am the apple of his eyes”  and he promised to marry me for which  l did not hesitate to accept his proposal.

A year after we had completed our programmes in the university, l missed my period, despite the efforts l did to protect myself from being pregnant.

l was embarrassed in view of the situation in which l found myself.  l could neither eat nor sleep, and all those who saw me at that time discovered that l had a serious problem in hand.

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Though he pleaded with me to abort my pregnancy, l failed to comply.  However, with time, he mounted pressure on me again and further explained that he was not employed, therefore, he would not be in the position to support me from the antenatal stage through to the time l would be delivered of my baby. 

Later, he brought me some herbal concoction which he got from a friend and forced me to take it, failure to which he would refuse to accept the pregnancy and cease to talk to me.

l eventually obliged  and took the concoction after which l  bled  for hours unending and later developed  serious complications.

l became unconscious and was rushed to the hospital at the point of death, but was lucky to recover early. l was subsequently  discharged after  three weeks. 

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The medical doctor who treated me told my mother that he feared l would not be able to give birth in the future.

Now that l have complications due to the abortion, he has abandoned me and impregnated another lady whom he has promised to marry.

Naturally, l feel cheated and l am considering to take revenge. What should l do?

Nana  Awurama.

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Dear Nana Awurama,

First of all, we thank God for sparing your life and the ordeal that you have endured. 

Take heart as you go  through serious emotional moments. It is unfortunate that you allowed yourself to be deceived into  taking a decision which is going to cause you the rest of your life, and for which you have yourself to blame.

It is not clear the sort of revenge you intend to take. No matter your plans, revenge could lead you into serious trouble if care is not taken, because you may be influenced by the anger in you to react.

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Allow him to go ahead with his planned marriage if his conscience permits him.

Commit yourself to God and He will direct your path. Seek for forgiveness from God and hold nothing in your heart against him.

Forgiveness needs a broad, great and tender heart which you must hold unto and utilise to your benefit.

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Obaa Yaa

I have no peace in my home

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Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am 35year –old-lady married to a banker. I am a housewife. I am fair in complexion. I got my left hand tattooed sometime last year. I have never had my peace with my husband because he strongly abhors.

In my attempt to get it erased, I have caused a big scar on my hand which has worsened the situation. Sometime ago, your esteemed paper carried a story about how permanent tattoo can be cleared and a location.

May I know whether it is possible to get the scar and tattoo erased, and how much it would cost.

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Worried housewife, Prampram.

Dear housewife,

Since I have no idea how wide and deep the scar and tattoo are, it would be difficult for me to have a meaningful discussion with the specialists at the unit.

I suggest that the next time you visit Accra, you pay a visit to any skincare unit and ask what help they can offer.

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But until then, do not apply any self-medication. You may also ask your doctor to advise you as if there is any way out for a surgery. All the best.

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Obaa Yaa

He doesn’t wear his wedding ring

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Dear Obaa Yaa,

Ever since we got married, two years ago, my husband seldom wears his wedding ring except on occasion such as church service, funerals, outdooring and other social gatherings.

For the rest of the week, he goes to work without it. The excuse he gives is that whether he wears the ring to work or not, he is by law married to me.

But I beg to differ. I suspect there is more to it than what he told me. I need your advice on this.

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Eno, Ashiaman.

Dear Eno,

Some men don’t like wearing rings; others enjoy it. It is just like how some women like wearing jewellery or large earing while others would rather do away with them.

The fact, however, is that a man can misbehave even when he wears it or not because there are ladies who wouldn’t mind with the ring on.

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When he gets back home, he would wear it again. What difference does it make if he doesn’t wear it all?

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