Obaa Yaa
Should l take revenge on my ex boyfriend?
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We were friends from the Senior High School and became lovers throughout our stay in the university. Our friendship developed to the stage that he said ” l am the apple of his eyes” and he promised to marry me for which l did not hesitate to accept his proposal.
A year after we had completed our programmes in the university, l missed my period, despite the efforts l did to protect myself from being pregnant.
l was embarrassed in view of the situation in which l found myself. l could neither eat nor sleep, and all those who saw me at that time discovered that l had a serious problem in hand.
Though he pleaded with me to abort my pregnancy, l failed to comply. However, with time, he mounted pressure on me again and further explained that he was not employed, therefore, he would not be in the position to support me from the antenatal stage through to the time l would be delivered of my baby.
Later, he brought me some herbal concoction which he got from a friend and forced me to take it, failure to which he would refuse to accept the pregnancy and cease to talk to me.
l eventually obliged and took the concoction after which l bled for hours unending and later developed serious complications.
l became unconscious and was rushed to the hospital at the point of death, but was lucky to recover early. l was subsequently discharged after three weeks.
The medical doctor who treated me told my mother that he feared l would not be able to give birth in the future.
Now that l have complications due to the abortion, he has abandoned me and impregnated another lady whom he has promised to marry.
Naturally, l feel cheated and l am considering to take revenge. What should l do?
Nana Awurama.
Dear Nana Awurama,
First of all, we thank God for sparing your life and the ordeal that you have endured.
Take heart as you go through serious emotional moments. It is unfortunate that you allowed yourself to be deceived into taking a decision which is going to cause you the rest of your life, and for which you have yourself to blame.
It is not clear the sort of revenge you intend to take. No matter your plans, revenge could lead you into serious trouble if care is not taken, because you may be influenced by the anger in you to react.
Allow him to go ahead with his planned marriage if his conscience permits him.
Commit yourself to God and He will direct your path. Seek for forgiveness from God and hold nothing in your heart against him.
Forgiveness needs a broad, great and tender heart which you must hold unto and utilise to your benefit.
Obaa Yaa
Let’s protect the girl child
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a mother whose children are all girls. I am having sleepless nights over cases of little girls being defiled lately.
I wished to give birth to boys because my parents gave birth to only girls.
I am getting worried with the way the girl child is taken advantage of by unscrupulous men and it appears these men are going unpunished.
What can I do to protect my children? We must begin to see actions geared at saving the girl child.
Araba,
Takoradi.
Dear Araba,
YOU must begin to have very frank talk with your little girls. Tell them about sex, and tell them it is wrong for little girls to engage in it.
Tell them that it is wrong for anyone, most especially strangers, to touch or fondle their private parts and should not hesitate to report such cases.
With the children who are too young to speak properly (below three years), make it a point to bath them yourself either in the morning or evening and observe their private parts to make sure are well.
Do not leave them in the company of boys or men for long periods without checking on them.
Obaa Yaa
My mum wants me to end my relationship
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 26 year old driver, and she is 24 and an apprentice seamstress. We have known each other for three years.
I was having launch when my girl entered with another man but she didn’t see me.
When I asked who the man was, she said he was from her hometown and was invited by him for a drink. I just slapped her and she left.
Obaa, I had seen this man with my girlfriend another night and when I questioned them, he tried to fight.
I slapped him and he went to the police station to report that someone had assaulted him and stolen his necklace, watch and an amount of money.
The matter got to my mother and I was asked to pay Gh¢8,000 for assault.
My mother says, I should break up with the girl but I love her and can’t do that. What should I do?
Efe, Mallam.
*****
Dear Isaac,
Your girlfriend needs to be talked to instead of slaps. Let her understand that you felt threatened by the man who is not a mutual friend to the two of you.
You must explain to her that even though this man is from her town, she should have introduced him to you and also make an effort not to be with him at places and times that arouse suspicion.
This would be the first part of saving your relationship. The second part is that you need to control your temper as violence would always land you in trouble.
Finally you need to reassure your mother that you would never act the way you did again.
