Getting prepared to marry should be natural

You don’t fight at all

“We never fight!” you tell your friends. This is not a good sign. It may mean you aren’t communicating enough about the hard stuff. More likely one of you is fearful of rocking the relationship boat and not voicing their dissatis­faction about an issue.If you haven’t had an opportunity to see how you both manage a heated debate, you aren’t ready to join each other in matrimony.

Your values don’t line up on the important issues

You love spending time with your partner; but as you have gotten to know them better, you realise that you don’t see eye to eye on important things like money (spending, saving), children (how to raise them), work ethic and leisure activities. Marrying someone means marrying all of them, not just the parts that you enjoy. Clearly, you are not ready for marriage if you are not on the same page when it comes to core values and ethics.Your values don’t line up on the important issues

You have a wandering eye

You hide intimate com­munications you are having with an ex. Or, you contin­ue to flirt with your office colleague. You can’t imagine settling for the attention of just one person.If you feel the need for constant valida­tion from people other than the person you are consid­ering marrying, you aren’t ready to get married.

Marriage doesn’t mean you stop being human—it is natural to appreciate quali­ties in people other than your spouse-to-be- but it does mean you need to be ready to commit emotionally and physically to your mate.

You aren’t sure you are ready to settle down

You get along so well with your partner, yet you sense that you want to date differ­ent types of people before tying yourself to just one. If that little voice in your head is telling you to sign up for Tinder just to see who is out there, you want to listen to it.

There’s no reason to move forward with a wedding, only to find out later that you regret not playing the field a bit more before putting a ring on it.

You hate to compromise

You’ve been on your own awhile, and you know how you like your home (tidy all the time), your morning routine (don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee). But now that you are in love and spending your time togeth­er, you are finding that your partner’s habits aren’t exact­ly the same.

You aren’t comfortable changing your lifestyle in order to blend with theirs.

If this is the case, it is one of the prominent signs you should not get married. So, cancel your order for the wedding invitations.

With time, you may come to realise that in order to successfully merge, you will have to compromise.

When you are ready to marry, this will not seem like a sacrifice. It will come naturally to you as the most reasonable thing to do. That also answers the question, “when are you ready for marriage?”

To be continued…