Obaa Yaa
My wife does not appreciate me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I overhead my wife talking to someone on the phone. I still don’t know who that person was but it could be any of her friends.
In her conversation, I overheard her telling someone how lucky the person was. She said “Do you know how much he gives me to keep the home? I am even tired of the marriage.”
These words from my wife shocked me. In her conversation, he insulted me to her friend, describing me as a lazy person.
Our marriage is only two years old and we don’t have a child. I work very hard but I earn little.
When I confronted her, she told me she was just joking and for that matter is not something serious.
I didn’t want to drag it but the more I think of it, the more I get hurt knowing the woman I married doesn’t appreciate my effort.
What hurt me the most was when she said her friend should give her husband to her.
I am lost, I feel she doesn’t need me in her life. How can I forget about this?
Abraham, Takoradi
Dear Abraham,
Have you considered having an open and honest conversation with your wife about how you are feeling?
In my opinion, it is possible that she is not aware of the efforts you are making.
Communication is key in any relationship, and talking things through can help clear up misunderstandings and strengthen your bond.
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
Thank you for publishing my article with the heading above. I am back to answer your two questions.
Luckily, my in-laws are in their family house whilst we are in our own house. It all started when my husband started building a house.
I didn’t know they disliked me. I’ve always tried to play my role as an in-law.
But upon an attitude they developed, I have stopped.
Now, they come in groups to my house to insult me for no reason. My step daughter who is in Junior High School (JHS) 3 has been turned against me.
Now the girl only visit the house just to disrespect me and return to her aunties.
My husband mostly get angry over his family’s behaviour and exchange words with them sometimes. They insult him in turn, claiming I have cast a spell on him.
They are under the impression that my husband has transferred all the household properties to me, including two cars he has already registered in my name.
The situation is very painful and distressing. We are both worried.
My children are much worried because they can no longer visit the family house.
Obaa, let me hear from you soon, as this man needs to bless the marriage at the church.
Cecilia Antwi,
Mampong
Dear Cecilia,
Thanks for responding to our letter. The situation calls for a family meeting to resolve the issue once and for all.
Make a formal complaint to your family head and let him summon both families for a formal arbitration so that both parties can air their grievances to pave the way for differences to be ironed out.
You may also complain to your pastor to act in concert with the family head to make the summons a more effective one.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
Growing up, life has not been easy for my family, especially my mother. Both parents were famers, even when my daddy was alive, it was my mother who made sure we stayed in school.
I nearly gave up on life, but my mother was my pillar and source of inspiration. I nearly drop out of school because of school fees. Anytime I ask my dad for money, he always tells me he doesn’t have.
By the time I completed school and stood on my feet, she has sold all her assets and properties to put me and my siblings through school.
I am now married and doing so well. Daddy is no more. I have told her to relocate to the city so that I can take good care of her, but she has decided to stay in the village.
I am thinking I should invest my resources into building a spacious one bedroom self-contained house for her over there.
I discussed this issue with my wife and she is suggesting we build a family house so that my mother will come and stay in Accra.
Should I build my family house or mother’s house?
Benson, Sunyani.
Dear Benson,
It is very clear you have good intentions. However, prioritise building for your family first. Mummy is old and she needs to be catered for. She can come and stay with your family for some time until she moves to her newly furnished one bedroom.
When she moves in with you, it will lessen your financial burden. Continue to support your mother in the village, give her the best while you can, because she has made you who you are today.
Let your wife be in the known that, your mother will be staying with you. At least she can assist you in taking care of the children to ease some burden.
