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Obaa Yaa

In-laws are the problem  In-laws are the problem

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 Dear Obaa Yaa,

Thank you for publishing my article with the heading above. I am back to answer your two questions.

Luckily, my in-laws are in their family house whilst we are in our own house. It all started when my husband started building a house.

I didn’t know they disliked me. I’ve always tried to play my role as an in-law.

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But upon an attitude they de­veloped, I have stopped.

Now, they come in groups to my house to insult me for no reason. My step daughter who is in Junior High School (JHS) 3 has been turned against me.

Now the girl only visit the house just to disrespect me and return to her aunties.

My husband mostly get angry over his family’s behaviour and exchange words with them some­times. They insult him in turn, claiming I have cast a spell on him.

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They are under the impression that my husband has transferred all the household properties to me, including two cars he has already registered in my name.

The situation is very painful and distressing. We are both worried.

My children are much worried because they can no longer visit the family house.

Obaa, let me hear from you soon, as this man needs to bless the marriage at the church.

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Cecilia Antwi,

Mampong

Dear Cecilia,

Thanks for responding to our letter. The situation calls for a family meeting to resolve the issue once and for all.

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Make a formal complaint to your family head and let him summon both families for a formal arbitration so that both parties can air their grievances to pave the way for differences to be ironed out.

You may also complain to your pastor to act in concert with the family head to make the summons a more effective one.

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Obaa Yaa

My Stepfather at ‘war’ with me over my late mother’s house

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Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am a 39-year-old woman and the eldest of four children. My mother died five years ago. Before her death, she owned a house where she lived with my stepfather and my younger siblings. My stepfather had been married to my mother for more than 20 years.

After the death of mother. My stepfather has gone to court, claiming that the house belongs to him. He says he contributed money towards the construction and maintenance of the property and that my mother’s children have no right to interfere with it.

He has even accused me and my siblings of trying to take the house from him.

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I am shocked because my mother was the person who acquired the land and started the building. She also told us several times that the house was meant to remain in the family.

There is no written agreement between my mother and my stepfather about who owns what, and I am worried that this case could divide the family permanently.

My younger siblings are also angry with me because they believe I should fight my stepfather until the house is given to us.

Obaa Yaa, should I fight him in court or try to settle the matter outside court?

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From Frimpongmaa,

Assin Praso.

Dear Frimpongmaa, 

I am sorry you are going through this. A dispute over your late mother’s home can be very painful, especially when it involves your stepfather. Do not give up on the house or sign any document simply because he has sued you. Being sued does not mean that he automatically owns the property.

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Find out exactly what your stepfather is claiming, for example, whether he says the house belongs to him, that he is the beneficiary, or that you have no right to the property.

The court will determine who legally owns the property based on the applicable succession law and the evidence.

The exact answer can change considerably depending on where the house is located, whether your mother left a Will, how she acquired the house, what type of marriage she had with your stepfather, whether there are other children, and the applicable customary/statutory law.

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Obaa Yaa

I can’t meet demands from my husband’s family

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Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am a woman married for over 17 years and blessed with three children.

My father passed away two years ago and left some property to me and my two siblings.

Among the things I inherited was a piece of land and a house which I intend to keep for my children’s future.

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My husband’s family are putting pressure on me to give up the property and allow my husband to take control of it. They are saying that because I am married, anything I inherit should benefit my husband and his family as well.

I have tried to explain that my father deliberately left the property to me, but they accuse me of being selfish and disrespectful to my husband’s family.

I am now confused. I love my husband, but I don’t want to lose what my father worked hard to leave behind.

What should I do?

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Adzo, Ho

Dear Adzo

If the inheritance legally belongs to you, you should not feel pressured to surrender it simply to be at peace with your husband’s family.

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 At the same time, avoid making a rush decision based on anger or fear.

I don’t see the reason why your husband’s family wants to take control of the land.

Keep copies of relevant documents and, if necessary, seek legal advice.

Do not sign any document transferring, renouncing your interest until you fully understand its consequences.

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You should also have a good conversation with your husband. Ask him why his family wants you to hand over your inheritance to them and whether he supports their position.

Remember that family pressure is not the same as a legal obligation. You can respect your husband’s relatives without surrendering something that is rightfully yours.

If you eventually decide to share part of the inheritance, let it be because you genuinely wanted to, not because you were intimidated or emotionally overstretched.

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