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Vicious squirrel attacks 18 people in two-day Christmas rampage

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Stripe attacked people in a two day period

A “psycho” squirrel went nuts on a wild Christmas rampage in UK’s Buckley town, injuring a staggering 18 people in just two days, before it was put down by a vet, according to media reports.

The grey squirrel, according to reports, started attacking people in Buckley, Flintshire, last week over a two-day period.

This was much to the distress of Corinne Reynolds, who had fed it since March and said it was a “frequent and friendly visitor” to her garden.

She said the squirrel nicknamed ‘Stripe’ bit her last week as she fed it in her garden, and then she saw reports of other bites and attacks on the town Facebook page.

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“It has bitten me, attacked my friend and multiple other people. It’s attacked my neighbours’ cats. Dare not go out of the house, as it’s lurking,” Nicola Crowther wrote on the Buckley Residents Facebook Group on December 26 along with a grainy photo of the furry culprit.

Another bite recipient, Sheree Davidson, told South West News Service (SWNS) that she was taking out the recycling when the “psycho” squirrel jumped out at her from behind the bins and chomped her on the hand.

The nutty critter reportedly did not discriminate in its attacks, lashing out at the elderly, children and pets alike, and biting them everywhere from heads to legs, SWNS reported.

The Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals took Stripe in following its capture and examination, it was euthanised by a veterinary officer. — ndtv.com

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The drunk man

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A drunk man comes home late. His wife sees him and angrily exclaims, “Are you drunk again?!”

The man shakes his head and answers, “No, I am not drunk!”

“Okay, then prove it. There’s a clock over there. Can you tell the time?”

“Of course I can!” says the man.

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He turns toward the clock and screams, “Hey! I am not drunk!”

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I farted in bed

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I said to my wife “1-0”.

She farted and said “1 all”.

I farted and said “2-1”.

She farted and said “2 all”.

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I then had a wet fart which soiled the bed.

My wife said, “What was that?”

I said “Half time. Switch sides”.

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