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 The sleep divorce phenomenon

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 sleep divorce, also known as sleep separation, is a growing trend where couples choose to sleep apart from each other, either per­manently or temporarily. This decision can be driven by various factors, ranging from sleep disorders to relation­ship issues. In this article, we’ll delve into the reasons, benefits, and challenges of sleep divorce, providing insights and guidance for cou­ples considering this arrange­ment.

Reasons for Sleep Divorce

1. Sleep Disorders: Snor­ing, insomnia, sleep apnea, and restless leg syndrome can disrupt a partner’s sleep, leading to fatigue, irritabili­ty, and resentment.

2. Different Sleep Sched­ules: Shift work, irregular hours, or differing sleep preferences can make sharing a bed challenging.

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3. Personal Space and Comfort: Some individuals require solitude, silence, or specific sleeping conditions to recharge.

4. Relationship Issues: Conflict, intimacy problems, or emotional disconnection can lead couples to seek sep­arate sleeping arrangements.

5. Health Concerns: Cer­tain medical conditions, such as chronic pain or sleepwalk­ing, may necessitate separate sleeping quarters.

Benefits of Sleep Divorce

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1. Improved Sleep Quality: Sleeping apart can lead to better rest, increased energy, and enhanced mental clarity.

2. Increased Productivi­ty: A good night’s sleep can boost productivity, focus, and overall well-being.

3. *Better Mood*: Ad­equate sleep can reduce irritability, anxiety, and depression.

4. Personal Autonomy: Separate sleeping arrange­ments can provide individuals with much-needed alone time.

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5. Relationship Rejuvena­tion: Sleep divorce can help couples rekindle intimacy and connection outside of sleep.

Challenges of Sleep Di­vorce

1. Emotional Distance: Sleeping apart can lead to feelings of disconnection and isolation.

2. Impact on Intimacy: Re­duced physical closeness can affect emotional intimacy and relationship quality.

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3. Logistical Challenges: Separate bedrooms or sleep­ing arrangements can require adjustments.

4. Social Stigma: Some may view sleep divorce as uncon­ventional or problematic.

5. Communication Break­down: Failure to discuss sleep needs and boundaries can exacerbate relationship issues.

Navigating Sleep Divorce

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1. Open Communication: Discuss sleep needs, con­cerns, and boundaries.

2. Set Boundaries: Estab­lish a sleep plan and respect each other’s space.

3. Prioritise Intimacy: Schedule regular date nights or intimate activities.

4. Re-Evaluate and Adjust: Regularly assess the arrange­ment’s effectiveness.

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5. Seek Professional Help: Consult therapists, sleep specialists, or counsellors for guidance.

Conclusion:

Sleep divorce is not a sign of relationship failure but rather a proactive approach to addressing sleep-related challenges. By understanding the reasons, benefits, and challenges, couples can make informed decisions about their sleep arrangements. Effective communication, mutual respect, and flexibili­ty are key to navigating sleep divorce successfully.

Question: Is sleep divorce a sign of relationship prob­lems?

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Answer: Not necessarily. Sleep divorce can address specific sleep-related issues.

Question: How do we main­tain intimacy while sleeping apart?

Answer: Schedule regular date nights, intimate activi­ties, or meaningful interac­tions.

Question: Will sleep di­vorce affect our social life?

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Answer: Openly commu­nicate your arrangement to friends and family.

Question: Can sleep di­vorce improve our relation­ship?

Answer: Yes, by address­ing sleep-related issues and prioritising intimacy.

By embracing sleep divorce as a viable solution, couples can prioritise their individual sleep needs while nurturing their relationship.

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By Robert Ekow Grimmond-Thompson

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Features

The Herbal Preacher man (1)

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THE typical itinerant salesman in Sikaman is a herbalist. He is normally a slim macho with the capacity to perambulate the expanse of area covering the triangle of Accra-Tema-Ashiaman. In short, he can walk a total of 60 miles a day, marketing a product that cures every disease, including poverty. 

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The door-to-door herbal pharmacist advertises his product by word of mouth. He has nothing to do with the Food and Drugs Board (FDB). After all, his concoctions do not feature on FM stations.

Those herbalists who cannot walk to propagate the herbal gospel, liaise with drivers of mass transportation and their mates. They are, therefore, given the chance to sell their products on Benz buses that ply the routes.

Normally, the herbalist starts his sales message with a prayer and Bible study. He asks the passengers to bow down their heads in supplication to God the father, the son, the Holy Spirit.

When a herbalist asks the passengers to close their eyes and bow their heads, Moslems on board naturally feel offended. They feel that the herbalist has no right to assume that every passenger is a Christian. They think such an assumption is an affront to Islam.

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So a Moslem on board will raise the hand for a point of order. He’ll remind the herbalist that it would be in his own interest to mind his language.

“Be careful the way you address people in a public place. Not every person here is a Christian,” he’d state assertively.

Of course, the herbalist will promptly ignore him, but would all the same “watch” his tongue. Who knows whether or not the Moslem brother is inspired by Quoranic zeal to defend the tenets of Islam to the hilt?

When he starts saying, “Wallahi!” and “Inshallah!” it could be the beginning of proclaiming Islam as supreme, a point which must be driven home with talibanic precision.

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So the herbalist must tread carefully lest he steps on fire.

The herbalist could even add a measure of mirth to it all, by announcing that Christians on board today have very interesting company on the journey, but that should not detract from the business of the day. 

The Moslem brother will weigh the words carefully and offer a wry smile.

He must be careful the occasion does not degenerate into the use of semantics and proverbial oration to deride his conviction that public utterances must be mindful of religious sensibilities. He has made his point very clear and expects that it is taken in good faith in the interest of a peaceful journey.

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The herbalist will now open the New Testament and preach salvation, stating clearly that salvation can come only through Jesus Christ and NOBODY else.

The Moslem brother will now start twitching his moustache. The visible and almost revolutionary reflexes of his upper lip can be an indication that sentiments have begun superseding reason, and the outcome could well be tragic now shift uneasily in his seat. 

The time has come for him to also express his right to the religion of his fore-bears. He’ll put his hand into his pocket and rise to his feet. The time has indeed come!

This article was first published on Saturday, September 9, 2006

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Some issues requiring attention

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When the cause of a particular problem like sickness, disease, sudden illness, a social issue etc. are not known, it stands to reason that resolving it becomes a huge challenge.  

Citizens would understand the government when public announcements are made to the effect that government is trying to find a solution to the issue, even though it is taking a while for it to be resolved because citizens are rational beings.  

On the other hand, if the solution to a particular issue is known to everybody but the government for whatever reason, is dragging its feet in resolving it, citizens become frustrated and begin to lose trust in their leaders.  

One such issue is the heavy traffic along a section of the Kasoa – Odokor road.  A short stretch of bad road between the traffic light at the Weija Government Hospital and the entrance to the entrance of the overhead that leads to the N1, is the cause of the problem but nothing is being done about it, day after day, week after week, month after month.  Thus is clearly unacceptable.

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Another issue that requires urgent attention is the lack of pavements along a lot of streets in parts of the various Municipal Assemblies.   Exercise is a prerequisite for long life and healthy living and for those of us who it has become a way of life, this issue of people putting up structures right to the edge of the drains beside the roads, are making life difficult for us.  

We are compelled to walk along the roads, putting our lives at serious risk.  Pedestrians should never be compelled to compete with vehicles on our streets and roads.  Roads and streets are made for vehicles and pavements are made for pedestrians. That is the norm.  Any attempt to normalise a situation where pedestrians are mingling with vehicles is insanity.  

It is the road regulations that makes it so and therefore district or municipal assemblies are to take responsibility and ensure that spaces for pavements are not encroached upon.  Citizens have rights that must be protected by their leaders and making pavements available to pedestrians, is one of them.

When we hear of teachers having sex with students, it appears it is something recent.  It is not a new phenomenon.  It has been there since Adam.  Perhaps this issue is getting much attention due to the proliferation of social media.  It was an open secret in times past when Teachers were in relationships with female students and some married them immediately after completion of school.  

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Some teachers were also known to be having unholy interactions with female pupils but due to the times that these acts occurred, human rights issues and the awareness around it, allowed such unscrupulous teachers to get away with their crimes. 

Now we are in a different era and so a Headmaster is now in hot waters.  He is alleged to have raped about 19 female students and as usual, some officials tried to cover it up and are also in hot waters and their actions or inactions in the matter are under investigation.

Why the man has been allowed to roam freely without being arrested is simply mind boggling.  It appears that the law applies differently, depending on who you are.  This issue came to public attention sometime in August this year, yet the police had not arrested or invited this man for question regarding the rape allegation.  

It has come out that he is a Constituency Secretary of the ruling party and the question in the public domain is that, is it because he is a political figure that is why he is still walking around without questioning?  I believe in the rule of law so let us hold our breadth and let the proper thing be done.  

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The police must however be seen to be active in this matter.  God bless.

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