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The drunk man

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Odd News

I farted in bed

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I said to my wife “1-0”.

She farted and said “1 all”.

I farted and said “2-1”.

She farted and said “2 all”.

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I then had a wet fart which soiled the bed.

My wife said, “What was that?”

I said “Half time. Switch sides”.

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Odd News

JOKES

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How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.

What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick.

What did the full glass say to the empty glass? You look drunk.

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Justice is a dish best served cold. Otherwise, it’s just water.

What do call a criminal landing an airplane? Condescending.

Why should you never throw grandpa’s false teeth at a vehicle? You might denture car.

Why are Christmas trees bad at knitting? They always drop their needles.

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What did the lunch box say to the refrigerator? Don’t hate me because I’m a little cooler.

Did you hear about the fragile myth? It was busted.

I can always tell when someone is lying. I can tell when they’re standing too.

Why did the egg hide? It was a little chicken.

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