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The obituary of Ghana soccer(Part1)

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Sikaman Palava

It is very easy to handle a ball of kenkey. As my bosom friend Rever­end (self- appointed) Kofi Kokotako put it, it is the kind of ball that almost every fool can manage. You only have to get some pepper and ‘fish-head’ and then your massive jaws can take care of the rest.

A revolution is not a tea party, said Mao Tse-Tung. In simile, a football revolution is not a kenkey party. If anybody had thought that organising a disciplined, winsome team was synon­ymous to organising a kenkey festival, then of course they were living in a fool’s paradise.

We shall come back to that later on but for the moment, let’s recast what happened on the first day the Black Stars played a game.

If you noticed carefully, you’d have realised that somehow the squad was not prepared and the handlers should literally have asked for the postpone­ment of the entire tournament. They were too many foreign-based players invited to come and joke.

Anyhow, I was really impressed by how the professionals looked. They appeared well-fed and well-paid and Nii Odartey Lamptey looked very beautiful in a jelly curl jerry hairdo. Probably just before he entered the dressing room, he had spent quite some time under the dryer.

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No wonder he looked like a par­ticipant of a beauty pageant. It really was going to be a beauty contest for the Sikaman boys while the Guineans came to play football.

And the Guineans really stretched the Stars full-length till international star C. K. Akunnor, who played with all his might and soul, set the stadium ablaze with a bullet- shot to remind his compatriots that it was no beauty palaver in Tunisia ‘94. That was our saviour and it came in the last min­utes.

Earlier, Odartey Lamptey who had consistently not fared well in any Black Stars match was elected to take a penalty kick when more experienced players could have done the job spick and span. When I saw that it was Odartey going in for the kick, I just felt inside me that it was either going to be ‘over the bar’ or something worse.

LESS-EXPERIENCED

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Fortunately, the ball did not go over bar, but neither did it enter the net. The keeper made light-work of it, having realised that we weren’t serious after all.

In fact by allowing a relatively less-experienced player like Odartey to take that kick showed clearly that the squad was either unprepared or that there was no seriousness in the team. Anyhow, Nii cannot be blamed for our quarter-final tragedy because he did not play in that match. What about strategy and being wise? The Lord Je­sus Christ has always admonished us to be wise as the serpent. In Tunisia, we didn’t exhibit the kind of wisdom and prudence Jesus talked about.

When Prince Polley scored against Senegal, everyone rejoiced and only a few realised that it was our doom. Losing or drawing against Senegal would have been the last remarkable genius of the century knowing very well that a win would mean clashing with an arch-rival Cote d’Ivoire in the quarter-final.

To deliberately lose in some matches is part of strategy used by teams worldwide to wriggle their way through to the final spot. It was not that Cote d’Ivoire was not unbeatable, but it was certain that they would be more of a problem than Zambia as far as Ghana was concerned.

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WISDOM

As it were, if the handlers had displayed the wisdom of the aged, they would have pep- talked the boys to lose that match or draw, having at the back of the mind that not all that glitter is gold. As it turned out to be, a win over Senegal was more of a trage­dy than the comedy all thought it was.

Now, the entire campaign to win the cup in Tunisia became a non-start­er the moment George Arthur was dropped. And when he lobbied and was recalled to join the team, it was the beginning of tragic instances that beset the Stars’ team.

In fact, when George was dropped, I was unhappy about it and com­plained. But when he was given the green-light afterwards, I was shocked. I reckoned that it was very improper for many reasons.

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First, it meant that the coaches and technical men were impotent and were being manipulated like a marionette to do against their wish. Secondly, to be a big embarrassment to Kofi Mbeah who was going to be told that “the big men say they should drop you-o! They say George Arthur is soccer-god. If we drop him our chop money will be in jeopardy.”

I wonder how Kofi Mbeah, my idol, took that message. What an embar­rassment to a budding star. The psy­chological trauma and all that!

Certainly his patriotism is going to be affected and I wonder if he would be willing to play for his country at any future date. If it happens, should the GFA not accept blame?

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Female bodies for sale

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A man and a woman walking together

It is still the contention of my uncle, Kofi Jogolo, that the moment God created woman, He created a big problem for man. If not, why would man always have to trim his moustache in such a way as to please woman and not himself? And why would a man’s holy organ keep nodding like an agama lizard just because there is a creation called woman?

Sikaman Palava
Sikaman Palava

Sir Kofi Jogolo whose moustache deserves both a national award and mention in the Guinness Book of Records for its stylish variations, told me recently that when you marry, you have palaver; if you don’t marry, you have wahala. All because of woman. I think the bloke is a reincarnation of Paul. Only he looks like Peter.

For those who do not marry, they may be free of marital problems, but might be in sexual bondage, because at dawn, a certain part of the body might nod in distress. It is a wonderful part of the human body that smiles with joy when a woman is lying within arm’s length.

The unmarried may not have to wait until dawn, though. After all, who says you can satisfy a sexual need only at dawn? If there is no girlfriend, there is still a way out. FEMALE BODIES FOR SALE! You only have to ask, “How much?” Sometimes it is worth the price of only two balls of kenkey.

It is for this reason that some people do not discourage women from practising prostitution because they claim the women play a vital role in national development. According to them, first, the nation cannot develop when the citizens are sex-starved. Second, they claim prostitution keeps down figures of rape cases since it is due to the scarcity of female bodies that the incidence of rape is rising.

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Well, some people really adore prostitutes. With them you don’t have to worry about pregnancy. Moreover, you can skip foreplay which many people don’t have the patience for because of their high sexual temperature, or because they consider it a waste of time. And when you pay well, you can enjoy the style you want.

In actual fact, some married men also go in for prostitutes once in a while. They claim that prostitutes do not complain in bed like their wives. When you ask them to raise a leg, they comply without argument.

They also say prostitutes who are experienced can really work on certain parts of your body enough to make you blaspheme. Holy Jesus! The difference is clear then that with prostitutes you pay for the service but with wives it is for free, meaning that the quality of service must differ accordingly.

Many men also say they prefer prostitutes to girlfriends because of “back-pocket palaver”. It is their contention that with girlfriends you have to specialise in telling lies about your credit worthiness especially when you’re not only a human being but also a church mouse.

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Sometimes you have to buy beer and gin because some girlfriends would not like to have sex unless they are properly soaked in booze. You also have to sing them lullabies and recite poetry to turn them on. Ask Devine Ankamah. That’s not all. When all is finished, you have to dish transport money, and if you’re not lucky she’d ask you to settle a “carry forward” you had planned to dodge.

So for just two probably lousy rounds of enjoyment, you’d spend some ¢15,000 if hotel services are included, unless you choose a hotel room where cockroaches and rats don’t practise family planning.

There are those who believe that with prostitutes, you don’t have to tell lies. It is purely business. No credit, no debit. Money na hand back na ground. When you are through and refuse to pay, she’ll cause a scene, scratch your face red and drag your butt onto the street. Next time you don’t have money, you stick to your wife or girlfriend or to your sorrows.

Prostitution in Sikaman is widespread. News reaching Palava have it that in the Obuasi area, it is the major occupation of females. They are in lucrative business. They come from all over the country -Bolga, Tamale, Kumasi, Sunyani, Accra, Odumase, wherever. A few are said to have come from Lagos in full gear.

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When they all come, they sometimes don’t do so with only their bodies and luggage. They also carry with them something small in the form of a disease called AIDS which they distribute free of charge.

So why Obuasi? Gold! The great successes of Ashanti Goldfields combined with the notoriety and boom of galamsey activities have acted as a magnet, drawing in those who peddle their bodies for cash. No cheques!

Sometime back, it was reported that AIDS cases in the Obuasi area had soared. The reason, prostitution. Obuasi prostitutes are, however, of class. They dress to kill. Some speak even more languages, so if you’re a client and you speak even in tongues, they understand. And they drink beer exactly like Germans.

So what really are we doing about these prostitutes who, some say are contributing to national development and others say are enhancing national obituary?

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Sikaman Palava has said it once that the law enforcement agencies have tried time and again to rid them off the streets. They have always failed in doing so. The problem is that they are as slippery as the cockroach. When harassed, they disappear and practise all the same. If caught, they are fined and the next day they are firmly at post.

Some people say because we can’t get rid of them, we must neither encourage nor discourage them. We must find a way of organising them into co-operatives under the name of “SPECIAL HUMAN SERVICES.”

They’d undergo medical screening and those with AIDS banned from practising. The rest would undergo a course in the cause, prevention and cure of sexually-transmitted diseases, personal hygiene, condom use and the healthful ways of practising prostitution.

Then they can be let loose to practise under laid-down rules and regulations and their income taxed.

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That way, the prostitutes would be more beneficial to society and would not be the problem we see them to be.

 This article was first published on Saturday June 29, 1996

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The right mindset is everything

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This year June and part of July, is an enjoyable season for football lovers due to the World Cup which is held every four years.  The World Cup is such a huge event and also very prestigious so it is highly competitive. 

Countries registered with the Federation of International Football Association, (FIFA) become automatic members.  FIFA organises tournaments on the five continents of the world, to enable countries to be selected to play in the World Cup competition. 

Governments support their national teams to ensure qualification to the World Cup due to the prestigious nature of the tournament.  Certain countries even go to the extent of renting a place of their choice, instead of the accommodation provided by FIFA, to ensure that they win the ultimate crown, as Germany did in the 2014 tournament in Brazil. 

Mental strength a requisite for emerging victorious in football matches at such high professional level and everything must be done to endure that players are focused on the matches ahead of them.

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There is however, a peculiar situation in this year’s World Cup, where it is being hosted by three countries namely the United States of America, Mexico and Canada and where one of the host countries, is at war with one of the competing countries. 

The United States of America, is waging a war against Iran.  The US has prevented Iran from staying in the US where they were originally scheduled by FIFA to play their matches.  The US using its power as the host country, has refused to let Iran to stay and FIFA has provided a place in Mexico for the Iranian team to stay.  They have to spend about five hours to fly to the US and prepare to get ready for their matches, each match day. 

They are also forced to leave the US as soon as they finish playing their matches, without resting.  Despite this inhumane treatment being forced on them by the USA, the Iranian team is mentally strong and have managed to draw their two matches played.  

This is a clear manifestation of mental toughness, resulting from having the right mindset.

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Life has a way of often dealing bad cards to a lot of people but it is important that when it happens like that, you look at what you can do with what you have, to still achieve the goals you have set for yourself.

 There is a saying that when life throws you a lemon you make lemonade out of it.  The barriers confronting you might be great, but it is the attitude you display that makes the difference. 

The Iranians have really shown that the right mindset is indeed everything you need to be successful.  They looked at their situation and assessed what was not going in their favour and found appropriate steps to address it. 

Given the teams Iran was to play, the challenge was indeed huge, given the circumstances they found themselves in, but the right mindset to never give up, did the trick for them.

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As human beings, we are always confronted with challenges, right from the day we start to crawl, the day we take our first steps and as we continue to grow into adulthood.  Challenges are part of our daily lives and we must therefore condition our minds, that we shall encounter them and so must constantly be innovative in overcoming them, when we encounter them. 

We need as a country, to develop a critical thinking skill capabilities in our youth, as an investment in the future fortunes of this country.  Developing the right mindset, will enable us overcome every challenge.  God bless.

By Laud Kissi-Mensah

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