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Inattentive jogger escapes death near rail track

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The Network Rail – which owns most of Britain’s rail infrastructure – has shared a terrifying video of an earphone-wearing jogger’s escape as a warning to all commuters.

Footage from the driver’s seat of the train showed the runner using the level crossing without looking when the approaching train was only metres away.

The incident occurred earlier this month, although the footage was only released online last Tuesday.

“The driver of a Chiltern Railways London to Oxford service reported the harrowing incident shortly after 8.30am on Friday, November 6,” the Network Rail said in its statement.

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While sharing the video on Twitter, they said the jogger displayed “unbelievable stupidity” when crossing the tracks without looking.

Rhys Evans, level crossing manager at Network Rail, said: “The difference of just a few seconds could have led to tragedy for this level crossing user.

“No matter how well you think you know a crossing, all users must stop, look and listen every single time they cross the railway. Additionally, you must always remove headphones when using a level crossing,” he added.

— ndtv.com

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I farted in bed

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I said to my wife “1-0”.

She farted and said “1 all”.

I farted and said “2-1”.

She farted and said “2 all”.

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I then had a wet fart which soiled the bed.

My wife said, “What was that?”

I said “Half time. Switch sides”.

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The drunk man

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A drunk man

A drunk man comes home late. His wife sees him and angrily exclaims, “Are you drunk again?!”

The man shakes his head and answers, “No, I am not drunk!”

“Okay, then prove it. There’s a clock over there. Can you tell the time?”

“Of course I can!” says the man.

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He turns toward the clock and screams, “Hey! I am not drunk!”

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