Dear Obaa Yaa,

When we hired a caretaker to take care of our 70-year-old father, the last thing we expected was that this caretaker becoming pregnant for our father.

One evening, my phone rang. I checked and it was my sister. The moment I answered, my heart sank. I was convinced she was about to tell me that our father had passed away.

Instead, she said, “It’s not death. It’s about new life. Dad has gotten the woman taking care of him pregnant.”

For a few seconds, I was speechless. Then I laughed in disbelief.

“Our 70-year-old father? He got his caretaker pregnant? How did that even happen? And what was she thinking, choosing to have a child with a man of his age?”

Months later, the baby arrived. When I received the photos of our newest sibling, my feelings changed. The shock gradually gave way to acceptance. I began sending extra money home, not just to support my father, but also to help care for the woman who had become his partner and their little child.

Life settled into a new routine until one ordinary day in December, barely two years after the baby’s birth, another phone call came.

This time, it was the news we had once feared. Our father had passed away.

Efe, Swedru.

Dear Efe,

Your father’s actions may have come as a shock, but the child who was born is innocent and deserves love, dignity, and acceptance. While it may be difficult to understand or agree with your father’s choices which might make you angry, I think that the anger must not stretch to the child who is very innocent on this matter.

As a family, take time to mourn your father’s passing before making major decisions. If your father left a will, follow it. If he did not, work together to settle his estate fairly and according to the laws.

If there is any uncertainty about the child’s legal relationship to your father, you may consider obtaining legal advice or, if necessary and appropriate, a DNA test before inheritance is distributed.

If the child is indeed your father’s, remember that he or she is your sibling and has the same need for love, care, and a sense of belonging as any other child. Supporting the child does not mean you must ignore your own feelings, but it does mean choosing compassion over resentment.

It is also important to treat the caretaker with respect. Avoid making assumptions about her motives without evidence. Focus instead on what is best for everyone involved, especially the child.

The greatest way to honour your father’s memory is not by dwelling on the circumstances of the pregnancy, but by handling the situation with wisdom, fairness, and kindness.