Obaa Yaa
My Dad won’t attend my wedding
My dad has threatened not to attend my wedding; instead, he has been raining curses on me.
Each morning and night, he would call and rain curses on me, telling me I was bringing shame and bad luck to my marriage because I told him, my step father will be present.
I have personally been to his house to invite him, yet he keeps telling me he can’t make it. What should I do?
Kwesi,
Suhum
Dear Kwesi,
Your dad’s curses, guilt, and threats come from his pain and fear of losing his role, but that doesn’t make his behaviour idle.
You can love him as your father and still set a firm boundary for him.
If he crosses that line, end the call or stop replying his messages. Protect your wedding and your peace by limiting contact, especially late at night and early morning, and stand by your partner.
Remember, respecting your dad doesn’t mean erasing the role your stepdad played – both can matter without problems.
Don’t let his behaviour dictate the start of your marriage. You can’t control if he comes around, but you can control not letting his anger affect your emotions.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
Before we got married five years ago, my husband told me that his former wife left him shortly after he lost his job following a financial scandal which rocked the company.
But thanks be to God that the court cleared him and ordered the company to pay him for the five years he stayed at home for wrongful dismissal.
As soon as this ex-wife heard that the company had complied with the court’s orders and paid him, she shamelessly declared that she was making a comeback and has vowed to kick me out of my matrimonial home at all cost.
She promised to hire ‘machomen’ to throw my things out of the house and was prepared to bear the consequence for that action.
Even though my husband has assured me that this would never happen, her ex is bent on disturbing my peace.
What should I do?
Adzo,
Tafo.
Dear Bertha,
The lady is threatening to use violence against you. That’s constitutes a breach of the law and she must be reported to the police for issuing those threats.
However, I will advise you to discuss it with your husband so that you are not seen as acting entirely on your own.
As a matter of fact, it is only the police that can handle this matter professionally and must be involved, unless of course your husband talks to his ex-wife to stop harassing you. So have a good discussion with your husband about the matter. All the best.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 20 and she is 19. We have been lovers for the past four months and have promised to get married to each other.
We love each other badly that one cannot leave the other for long. Our relatives know about our affair except her grandmother who will be in the country soon.
My problem is that, I doubt if the grandmother will be excited about this relationship. Her grandmother is very strict and I doubt if this relationship can be successful.
Her grandmother has been like a mother and everything to her, so her final decision may count.
We have promised each other to stay holy and clean.
Lartey,
Sunyani
Dear Lartey,
I don’t think your fears are justified if the girl’s parent do not object to your relationship with her.
What makes you think her grandmother will oppose the relationship if her parents endorse it?
Be positive about the relationship. There is no cause for alarm.
I am very happy you guys are staying holy and clean until marriage.
Both of you are student and need to be careful about any decision you take.
I believe you should try as much as possible to support each other and stay away from any negative act.
