Why Should I forgive others? (Final)

 Forgiveness is thenhigher way

Paul acknowledges the gravity of Onesimus’ offense. Legally and ethically, Onesimus had done wrong. Under Roman law, Philemon had every right to punish him. Yet Paul calls him to choose a higher path—grace.

“For this perhaps is why he was parted from you for a while, that you might have him back forever” (v. 15). Paul reframes the pain of separation as a providential oppor­tunity for lasting unity.

As Christians, we’re invited to see beyond the offense and choose the eternal perspective. Forgive­ness isn’t minimising the pain—it’s maximising the grace of God. It’s choosing to imitate Christ, who bore our sin without bitterness.

We are a forgiven people

Years in ministry often reveal a painful pattern: unresolved conflict and an unwillingness to forgive can cripple individuals and entire communities. Families drift. Churches divide. And the gospel is obscured by pride and pain.

Someone said something. Someone got offended. Someone refused to forgive. And so, heal­ing never happened. Every time forgiveness is withheld, the Body of Christ suffers. But when we take steps to reconcile, we bear witness to the redemptive power of the gospel.

Forgiveness is more than an emotional release—it is a spiritual act of obedience. It puts God’s grace on display. It makes visible the invisible love of Christ.

Are you struggling

to forgive ?

Here are five helpful questions to evaluate your heart:

1. Do I feel anger or anxiety when I think about this person?

2. Do I secretly wish for them to suffer as I did?

3. Would I serve or help them if they needed it?

4. Can I sincerely pray for their well-being?

5. Would I be upset if God blessed them?

These questions don’t con­demn us—they guide us. They help us identify areas where grace is still needed, where healing is still possible.

CONCLUSION

Forgiveness is one of the most Christlike things we can do. It doesn’t ignore justice—it entrusts it to God. It doesn’t excuse the offense—it acknowledges the cost and chooses love anyway.

Is there a Philemon in your life? Someone you need to forgive? Or are you more like Onesimus—long­ing to return but unsure if you’ll be received?

Today is a good day to choose grace. For the sake of the gospel, the Church, and your own soul, why not begin the process of for­giveness?

Let’s make this commitment together: By the grace of Christ, I will pursue unity, forgive freely, and live in the freedom that only forgiveness brings.

• By Rev. Dr Joyce Aryee, the author