To Damascus and back

As soon as a married man becomes infected with the he-goat mentality, he is bound to forget that he has a wife.

It is often a tragedy because he can completely lose focus and generally start misbehaving. He considers his wife a headache, at best a pain in the neck.

The man has got a new girlfriend and is excited. And when he sees his wife, he wonders what she is doing in his home. Maybe she is only a stray dog in need of shelter. And Jesus Christ, won’t she just keep out of the way?

The married man who has gone into extramarital affairs is half the time engaged in mindless fantasy. He is engrossed in devising many ways to please his newfound lover. And if the girl is explosive in bed, the fantasy could spiral into the fourth dimension.

It could be that his wife is basically an “old layer” who can no longer take him to the heavens and back. The girlfriend, however, can take him on a trip into space, meandering through the galaxy of stars, down the Milky Way. It can be an experience of a lifetime.

Normally, after such a trip, the married man will forget that he even has a home and children. He becomes a fugitive.

What he needs is deliverance. So his wife will go to the pastor and tell him that her husband has developed very strange symptoms.

First, the man is behaving practically like a he-goat, sniffing desperately after young women. Secondly, he cannot find his way back home.

The pastor is likely to diagnose the ailment on the spot. He does not need to conduct a blood test to offer a prognosis. “It is the spirit of lust,” the man of God will say. “The Lord is in control.”

Sometimes prayers are effective, and the man heads back home. For very curious reasons, he remembers that he had lost his way. So he returns to his family, wondering what might have been happening to him. So long!

Other times, prayer worsens the case. It is not that the prayers are not being answered. God has only given the lecherous bloke a long rope on his own balls. It is as if the prayers drive him further and further away from the world of reason. For as long as three years, his soul is restless. It is in bondage!

The man forgets that the young girl he has been riding will one day marry and leave him in the cold. That day will surely come.

Now, when a married man is jilted by his girlfriend, he remembers that he has a wife. He had almost forgotten that he went and wedded a woman and called her his wife.

The jilted man will lick his wounds and trace his way back home. His wife would wonder whether he had lost his way. Anyhow, she will welcome him back home.

He becomes the loving husband he once was, and his wife is amazed. What might have happened to her man? Was he struck on the way to Damascus? Or on his way back?

When the man is sober, he will decide to calculate how much he has spent on that useless girl who said she was going to get married to some equally useless cockroach.

He realises that, in the short span of sexual enjoyment and extramarital bliss, he has lost all his lifetime savings, enough to build two-storey buildings.

Last Saturday, some youths who distinguished themselves in various endeavours were awarded at an excellence awards ceremony.

The males should always have it at the back of their minds that chasing women is what brings down both the weak and the strong, the poor and the rich, the lettered and the unlettered.

This article was first published on Saturday, August 26, 2006.

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