He wants me to be his cousin

Dear Obaa Yaa,

My husband and I got married shortly after we completed se­nior high school. My mother then bought a ticket for him to go abroad where he went and stayed with my brother.

He went through some kind of marriage over there in order to get a good job, or so he said, and he asked me to be patient.

A few weeks ago, my husband wrote to say that he was coming home with his wife, and that I should pretend to be a cousin. I also heard they have a child.

I can’t do what he wants me to, even though everyone, includ­ing my mother thinks I should.

And I don’t want to be his wife only when he comes home. I want to join him over there because that was the arrangement.

Akweley, Accra

Dear Akweley,

Don’t let anyone force you into doing anything that you don’t want to do. If you can’t pretend, then don’t try.When you meet your husband, it is important to let him know how you feel about the arrangement.

And you will have to come to an agreement as to whether or not you want to continue with your marriage.

Whatever decision you come up to will not be easy for you, but do make sure that it is what is best for you.

• Kwabena kwabena in