He is now eager to claim my child

Dear ObaaYaa,

It all started when we were in SHS and academic work had relaxed a little during sports week. We bumped into each other and coincidentally lit the fire of love.

Since then we went through thick and thin with series of difficulties, petty quarrels but in the midst of these l got pregnant to my surprise.

Having examined my condition for a week, I informed my boyfriend that l was pregnant but he flared up and rained insults on me.  He concluded that he was not responsible for the pregnancy so l should look for the person who had made me pregnant.

He further said he suspected l was having an affair with another man and thanked God that his suspicion had come through. He suggested that l should abort the pregnancy or look for the one who had made me pregnant.

Gripped with fear, l approached one of his close friends to inform him about what had happened and the unfriendly comments his friend had made.

Since his friend’s intervention could not help matters, l sensed that l was left to face the world alone in humiliation.

I foresaw that l would face serious embarrassment if l kept mute over the issue, so l informed my mother about it.

Though my father’s anger is difficult to control, my mother informed him about the shame l had brought to the family and the embarrassment l had caused myself.

Now that my child has reached a tertiary level, he is trying to claim the child but l still feel the pains and l am not prepared to give in. Would l be wrong if l maintain my decision not to allow him to own the child? 

Akos, Nsawam.

Dear Akos,

This gentleman had earlier shot himself in the foot when he said he was not responsible for your pregnancy, and added that you should look for the person who had made you pregnant. Therefore, on what basis is he coming to make claims to the child?

Having issued threats ever since, he had not made any attempts to support you in taking care of the child until now, for that matter he has no claims to the child.

I am pretty sure your parents will not take kindly to this request so keep your calm and ignore his threats.

If he is determined to claim the child then he should go to court and be prepared for a DNA test and any cost that would be imposed on him for shirking his responsibilities until now.