Why Should I forgive others? (Part 1)

 “Be kind and compas­sionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”- Ephesians 4:32 (NIV)

 INTRODUCTION

CONFLICT is never easy—espe­cially when it happens within the church. Many believers can relate to the heartache of strained relationships, misunderstandings, or even church splits.

Though these moments don’t make us lose our salvation, they often test our faith deeply. At times, the dis­couragement can feel so intense that quitting the Christian walk seems like a tempting option.

Yet, in Christ, we are called into a new kind of family—a family transformed by grace. We are to be peacemakers, reconcilers, and forgiv­ers because we ourselves have been forgiven so completely.

Scripture doesn’t just call us to live in peace; it calls us to reflect the heart of Christ, the One who gave Himself for His enemies. The brief but powerful letter to Philemon offers timeless wisdom on this topic.

Living in grace

The Apostle Paul’s letter to Phile­mon is only 335 words in the original Greek, yet it carries profound lessons about grace, forgiveness, and recon­ciliation.

Paul writes not as an authoritari­an apostle but as a loving brother in Christ, appealing to Philemon on behalf of Onesimus—a runaway slave who had since become a believer.

Paul gently urges, “Though I could be bold enough in Christ to command you to do what is proper, yet for love’s sake I prefer to ap­peal to you…” (Philemon 1:8–9). He pleads with love, not law. He even offers to pay any debt Onesimus owes: “If he has wronged you or owes you anything, charge that to my account” (v. 18).

This is not “forgive and forget.” This is a real reckoning of wrong, met with real grace. Paul illus­trates what Christ has done for all of us—He takes our debt and pays it with His own life.

Our identity in Christ

Paul emphasises that Onesimus has undergone a radical transformation. Once “useless,” he is now “useful” (v. 11)—a beautiful play on the meaning of his name. The point? In Christ, our identity is changed. We’re not defined by our failures or past offenses. We are made new.

Philemon, a slave master, is being asked to receive Onesimus not as property, but as a brother in Christ. This is a powerful call to the Church: we must see each other through the lens of our shared redemption. Grace transforms social structures, erases labels, and redefines our relation­ships.

By Rev. Dr Joyce Aryee,
the author