The price of ‘I do’:  Why money honesty is the real marriage insurance –Part 2 

She did not find out he was cheating. She found out he was drowning.

It was two weeks after their beautiful wedding. The jollof was still in the fridge. A loan officer called her number-not his-and politely asked, “Madam, please tell your husband to pay his overdue loan. We have been calling him.”

That was how she discovered her new husband had entered their marriage with a hidden debt of over GH¢ 40,000. No cheating. No other woman. Just a financial secret.

And that is how many Ghanaian marriages begin to die. Not with a shout, but with a secret alert on a phone.

We prepare for the wedding. We do not prepare for the wallet.

What is money honesty?

Let me define it simply. Money honesty is not that you both earn the same. It is that you both know the same. It is the ability to sit down and say without fear:

“This is how much I earn.”

“This is how much I owe.”

“This is how I was raised to see money.”

“This is what scares me about money.”

Financial transparency is not about control. It is about clarity. You cannot build trust on top of secrets.

Many couples tell me, “Counsellor, we love each other, love will handle money.” I always answer, “Love is the car, but money honesty is the fuel. Love without honesty cannot move.”

How To Buy Your Marriage Insurance Today – My 5-Step Protocol

If you are engaged, newly married, or even 20 years in marriage, you can still fix this. At Counsellor Prince & Associates Consult—CPAC, this is what I give couples:

Step 1: The 90-Minute Money Naked Session.

No phones, no blame. Each partner writes down on paper: Monthly income, monthly debts, monthly family obligations, savings, and your biggest money fear. Then you exchange papers. Read it. Don’t react for 24 hours. Just absorb.

Step 2: Create OUR Money, YOUR Money, My Money.

You need three pots. OUR money for rent, food, school fees, utilities, properties, and the like— joint contribution. YOUR money and MY money—a small agreed allowance no one questions. This stops the feeling of being controlled.

Step 3: The No-Secret Debt Rule.

Agree from today: No new loan, no new hire purchase, no new family financial commitment above GHS 500 without telling each other first. Not permission, but information.

Step 4: Talk About Your Money Personality.

Are you a Spender or a Saver? Are you Risky or Safe? Most Ghanaian marriages are a Spender married to a Saver. Neither is wrong. But if you don’t understand your partner’s personality, you will call his saving “stinginess” and her spending “wastefulness.”

Step 5: Do a Monthly 30-Minute Money Date

Not an argument date. Light, with tea. “How did we do this month? What worried you? What should we plan for next month?” Couples who do this divorce far less.

My Final Word

Before you say “I Do” at the altar, have pre-marital counselling and also have the money talk on the sofa.

Ask your partner:

“If I lost my job today, how long can we survive?”

“What debt are you bringing into this marriage?”

“How much do you send to your family monthly and will that continue?”

If he or she gets angry that you asked, don’t get married yet. A person who is angry about accountability will be abusive about money.

Marriage insurance is not bought at Star Assurance or Enterprise. It is bought in honest conversations when no one is watching.

The wedding costs one day. The marriage costs a lifetime. Don’t enter a lifetime contract and covenant with hidden costs.

You can still insure your marriage today.

Source:

Counselor Prince Offei, CPAC’s founder, is a leading Mental Health Professional, Marriage Counsellor, Author, ADR Expert/Arbitrator, and Spectator Newspaper Columnist. He writes on relationships, marriage, parenting, special needs support, and their connection to mental health. For therapy, counselling, or enquiries, contact Counselor Prince & Associates Consult (CPAC) in Accra on 0559850604 / 0551428486.

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