Should I ignore my child’s DNA result?

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am a father of two children from my previous marriage.

Unfortunately, the marriage ended because of my ex-wife’s persistent toxic behaviour, which began to affect not only our business but also the emotional well-being of our children. Eventually, the court took notice of the situation and granted me full custody of the children, who are now 13 and 10 years old.

Since then, their mother has been largely absent from their lives. She barely checks on them and once told me, rather bluntly, “Since they mean more to you, don’t look for me again.”

I have done my best to raise them with love, stability, and a sense of security despite her absence.

Recently, I was given a life-changing opportunity to travel abroad for work, with the option to relocate with both children. As part of my preparation, I decided to conduct a DNA test, mainly for personal clarity.

The results have left me deeply shaken.

They revealed that my younger child is not biologically mine, while the older one is.

Now, I find myself in a difficult position. The company offering me employment has structured my benefits based on the number of dependents I declared. One of the children I have listed is, by blood, not mine.

I am confused, hurt, and unsure of the right thing to do both morally and practically.

Obaa Yaa, please, what should I do?

Kenneth, Koforidua.

Dear Kenneth

What you are facing goes beyond DNA. It is about the meaning of fatherhood. For 10 years, you have raised this child with love, care, and responsibility.

That bond is real, and the child is innocent in this situation.

Before making any decision, reflect on whether this new information will truly change how you see or treat the child who has always known you as their father.

On the practical side, consider the legal and employment implications carefully. Since you have full custody, both children are still legally your dependents, and many systems recognise guardianship, not just biology.

However, it would be wise to quietly review your employment terms or seek legal advice to ensure that you are not unintentionally putting yourself at risk, especially with relocation abroad.

Ultimately, this decision is about both compassion and responsibility. Think about the emotional impact on the children and whether separating them would do more harm than good. You have an opportunity to shape their future. Approach it with both wisdom and heart, taking time to decide what kind of father you want to continue to be.