Relationship
How to deal with anxiety and uncertainty in relationships
Whether you have been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder or are simply going through a stressful period, everyone needs a little motivation every now and then, particularly in relationships.
These are three coping skills and strategies that can help you defeat anxiety in your relationship.
- Deep Breathing
Deep breathing is a simple technique that is excellent for managing emotions. Not only is deep breathing effective, it is also discreet and easy to use at any time or place.
Sit comfortably and place one hand on your abdomen. Breathe in through your nose, deeply enough that the hand on your abdomen rises. Hold the air in your lungs, and then exhale slowly through your mouth, with your lips puckered as if you are blowing through a straw. The secret is to go slow: Time the inhalation (4’s), pause (4’s), and exhalation (6’s). Practice for 3 to 5 minutes.
- Examine Your Thoughts
For instance, the thoughts that “something bad will happen” or “I will make a mistake” might lack evidence, but still have an impact on how you feel.
By examining the evidence and challenging these thoughts, you can reduce anxiety.
Put thoughts on trial. Choose a thought that has contributed to your relationship anxiety. Gather evidence in support of your thought (verifiable facts only), and against your thought. Compare the evidence and determine whether your thought is accurate or not.
Ask yourself:
“Is my thought based on facts or feelings?”
“How would my partner or best friend see this situation?”
“How likely is it that my fear will come true?”
“What’s most likely to happen?”
“If my fear comes true, will it still matter in a week? A month? A year?”
- Imagery (Positive Imagination)
Your thoughts have the power to change how you feel. If you think of something sad, it is likely you will start to feel sad. The opposite is also true: When you think of something positive and calming, you feel relaxed. The imagery technique harnesses this power to reduce anxiety.
Think of a place that you find comforting. It could be a secluded beach, your bedroom, a quiet mountaintop, your prayer closet, or even a loud gospel concert. For 5 to 10 minutes, use all your senses to imagine this setting in great detail. Do not think fleetingly about this place; really imagine it.
(PHILIPPIANS 4:6-7)
“6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
#QUOTE OF THE WEEK
Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strength.
—Charles Spurgeon
To be continued …
Source: Excerpts from “HOW TO MAKE THE BEST OF YOUR COURTSHIP: Building a Strong Foundation for Your Marriage” Book by REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist, Lecturer, Author, and Marriage Therapist).
COUNSELOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES CONSULT (CPAC COUNSELLOR TRAINING INSTITUTE)