Confusion in Tema

TEMA is a city of mysteries. When someone dies, chances are that the person will resurrect and shame the devil. Come to the harbour city and you’d meet a few Jesuses of Nazareth and of course Kwame Korkorti.

Because people in Tema are used to dying and resurrecting after three days, when someone dies, it is important that the person himself go round town to announce his obituary before people can believe he is really dead and wouldn’t wake up and cause commotion.

When the infamous, spine-chilling Madam High Heels died in Tema a few years back, she announced her death in a rather grand style. She toured all primary schools in Tema, wearing a white dress and high-heeled pair of footwear. For more than eight weeks she terrorised school children. “I saw her with my own eyes,” one kid swore. “She wore high-heel shoes and her walkings was very stylish.”

“She entered into our classroom and then vanished when we screamed,” another recounted.

It was rumoured that only children could see the ‘ghost on strike’ because they are ‘holy.’ So they could see the celebrated ghost which was on tour allegedly searching for its lost daughter among school children.

In one of the schools, one male teacher nearly defecated when his class children began screaming in terror. A stampede was in progress and the terrified teacher who did not see the ghost apparently because he wasn’t holy, did not know which direction to flee. And if he had the misfortune of meeting the Madam right in his way, it could be disastrous for his health and future.

“Where is it?” he cried out to the kids. “It is near you!” they shouted back. That was enough to loosen his bowels.

The next stop was Teshie where the Madam visited. It was a real challenge to both staff and pupils. It was a real race as both teachers and kids defied all odds and took off in different directions. But it was the head teacher who impressed everybody. No one gave him a dog’s chance but he outran both his contemporaries and the younger generation.

Actually, he proved to all that he was not headmaster for nothing. He also proved that under certain circumstances you have to abandon the school children and seek your own salvation. Each for himself. Man no fool!

Apparently one kid had heard something like someone walking with high-heeled shoes and raised the alarm. That was enough for the speed.

Soon after the Madam rounded-off her tour came the era of the Black Cat. Don’t get scared, Black Cat isn’t really a cat and does not intend to be. The Cat is in fact a human being. He was commissioned by the Tema Metropolitan Assembly (TMA) to arrest floating drivers.

The emergence of floating drivers became a phenomenon when the lorry station which was first located near the Community One market was relocated remotely beyond the Mankoadze roundabout.

It caused great inconvenience to travelers because getting to the new station demanded some miles of walking in some cases. It turned out that some LT and mini-bus drivers took advantage of the situation, turned coat and began floating like butterflies picking passengers by the roadsides.

The GPRTU executive lamented the new development. The floaters were getting all the jobs and weren’t paying station fees. They were also allegedly dodging tax because they had turned renegade and were under nobody’s control. They complained to TMA and the Black Cat was hired to solve the problem using strong-arm and red-eye.

Black Cat is a strong, burly, barrel-chested fellow who has quite a reputation in the city. He seemed just right for the job. He headed a task force that moved silently around Community One in a taxi or a minibus targeting floating drivers and catching them for disciplinary action.

Sometimes, it resulted in a real chase when the recalcitrant drivers took off in escape. It was always a spectacle; dangerous sensation of screeching, weaving, dodging and aponkye braking as they raced, one escaping, the other furiously pursuing.

It was just miraculous that accidents did not occur in the misadventures. Sidewalks were trespassed by the offending drivers who either swung precariously to the left or to the right to avoid the Cat, with pedestrians screaming in terror and taking cover.

Residents of Tema became concerned about the dangerous pursuits and complained. Nobody minded them. Then one day Black Cat caught one driver but the man decided to resist arrest. Apparently he was too “tough copper” and decided to defy the might of the human cat.

A fight ensued and soon a capacity crowd gathered to witness it. In the course of it, it became clear that the driver was a poor match for Black Cat, and sooner or later the Cat’s back would touch the ground in defeat.

Sensing danger, it was alleged that Black Cat drew a knife and whum! whum! whum! Adzeiii-i-I!

News of the death of the driver reverberated the length and breadth of the harbour city. The rumour came in different versions. “Black Cat stabbed the man twice in the neck, twice in the stomach and once in the nose,” someone told me that day. Others said different things about the incident. What was, however, certain was that the driver had died.

The news incensed fellow drivers who stormed the offices of the TMA and ravaged it, burning a bus (allegedly belonging to Black Cat), smashing windscreens and causing pandemonium and destruction. The quiet made residents from all the communities converge on Community One to see what the hell was going on.

The death of the driver had precipitated a disturbance and the security agents had a tough time calming frayed nerves. Then something happened. The dead man was seen roaming in town and feeling good himself. He had resurrected.

What! Tema really is a mystery city.

 This article was first published on Saturday May11, 1996