Alhaji is older than my father

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I have been traditionally married to an Alhaji at the instance of my parents at the age of 16 years.

Gladly, he has not had any sexual intercourse with me all this while.

Meanwhile, he funded my education from second cycle to the University where I have a year to graduate.

The idea was that I will final­ly move in to stay with him as husband and wife after getting my degree.

I will not be able to stand the shame and humiliation from friends if I marry him.

He is rich and caring, I must admit.

Should I agree to marry Alhaji who is few years older than my father?

Adiza,

Nima.

Dear Adiza,

YOU have been married to Alhaji traditionally, so tech­nically you are his wife.

If you feel you don’t want this man, kindly discuss with your parents who gave your hand in marriage.

I must, however, warn that you might not have your way that easily after enjoying all the benefits Alhaji has offered to see you through your education.

The people to blame are your parents. They have put you in this trouble.

Discuss it with them as to how best they can get you out of it. It might mean reimbursing the Alhaji for all he has spent on you.

That may be a huge sum of money you cannot pay and I doubt if Alhaji will take it lightly with you.