The beauty of rural Easter

SOMETIMES, it is good tonic going to the village to celebrate an occasion like Easter. But it all really depends on whether you know your hometown or not. You can’t go where you don’t know unless you are led like a blind man.

The problem is that many have been born outside their ancestral homes and have since then not had the courage or the money to travel and see the birth place of their forefathers.

For those who know their home-town, going back to celebrate the Easter is normally easy especially when they are not suffering from a financial disease.

However, my former classmate Kwame Korkorti has just reiterated that he would never go to his hometown again because he is the target of witches.

Yes, it is twelve good years now since the guy touched his roots. The last time he was there, he was nearly converted into a billy goat to be slaughtered for groundnut soup. He had about 13 nightmares in a single night and courtesy calls from witches of all kinds, profile and red-eye.

Apparently, they had come at mid-night to welcome back the great Korkorti Asamoah from the capital city. But the welcome ceremony was rather unorthodox. Instead of sitting down and exchanging greetings and telling of their mission, they rather held Korkorti’s limbs and started dragging him to where he didn’t know.

If the great Korkorti had not turned to Christ and shouted “Jesus!” for seven consecutive times, he would have ended up in the soup-pot, clean! But God was on his side and Jesus heard his cry. Korkorti has never been a religious person, but when it comes to matters of life and death, he knows where power lies.

Witch or no witch, going back to your hometown on an occasion is always a refreshing idea. Rural life is particularly exciting when palm wine is in season. The price is not like that of beer.

Moreover, palm wine is a health-drink. The dregs are laden with what any ‘unbeliever’ would term impurities. But believe me, the chemistry concerning the benefits of these ‘impurities’ is not far-fetched. The dregs have yeast in unusually large quantities.

Legend also has it that the impurities have been the magic that has kept wives from divorcing their husbands, even when the husbands are poor to the point of hopelessness.

At least, when these husbands drink the dregs of palm wine, they fulfil their marital obligations in style, keeping the marital bed hot and throbbing. The secret of a happy home indeed lies in the dregs of palm wine. Unfortunately, people do not know.

Yeah, Easter in the village is not a bad idea at all. Right from Palm Sunday, the action starts because most people equate Palm Sunday with palm nut soup.

There are certain rare herbs that are introduced in palmnut soup to make it delicious albeit rural. You won’t find such herbs in Accra. Bush meat also makes a difference.

Then comes GOOD FRIDAY when Jesus was betrayed by one of his right-hand men JUDAS ISCARIOT. He is the man who deserves the most honour, being the person who gave out Jesus to be crucified, so that mankind can be saved.

Those who hate Judas should repent today and start loving him. Without him, there would have been no hope for you and me.

In the villages, people consciously or unconsciously acknowledge the role played by Judas the bad boy. They express this in the course of what can be termed an alcoholic festival during which mixtures are permitted.

You can combine akpet with palmwine, add a little beer and finally top it with gin and akpet again. If the next dawn you find yourself sprawled in a dirty gutter, don’t be surprised. It all goes to confirm the fact that Judas’ role was indeed a hard one.

Holy Saturday is normally a day that begins with a hangover. And the ‘ghost’ must be cleared otherwise you’ll still be seeing things in twos and threes although you’re not suffering from kooko. Two tots of gin clears the eye and also opens the stomach for food.

Easter Sunday or is it Holy Sunday? Is more religious in outlook. People dress in their best clothes and their style of walking to church is always varied depending on where they come from to spend the Easter. In fact, it all depends on whether they come from Accra, Kumasi, Obo Kwahu, Tapa Abotoase or Teteman.

Those from Accra normally want to show a bit of class and therefore dance to church rather than walk. And before they sit on the pew, they spin round to see if people are admiring them. In fact, they are stylish.

You can also observe that those from Kumasi are often flamboyantly dressed. And when they walk to church, you’d think they are about to fly. Even the proverbial vulture in all his pomp and majesty, fully bedecked in royal kente will not be that airborne. Kumasi is not a cheap city, you know!

Other celebrants are of course also finely dressed and some walk to the church as if they are hurrying to catch grasscutter. The sermon is normally lively primarily because people from Accra are around.

The pastor becomes charged with the spirit and he delivers the word while employing heavenly gestures to stress biblical points.

As for the catechist, this is his day of glory. He is extra holy and he is the centre of attraction. The entire church revolves around him. It is he who can ask the Holy Spirit not to descend.

After the church service, everything becomes easy-going again with ‘palms’ featuring prominently and pestles crashing against motars to signify that fufu is being manufactured.

Monday is picnic-time. It is usually a sort of bring-your bottle and ‘supply your own food’ palaver. But it is always prudent to make allowance for gate-crashers. They bring nothing but go home the most bellyful.

Well, it is all a matter of loving your neighbour as yourself.

Even if you’re given a slap on the left cheek, you must reckon that is not enough; and you musn’t slap back. Instead, you have to turn your right cheek too and invite the slappist or the slapper to do the job on this one too. That is the only way you can go to heaven. So those who are always thinking about revenge should take note.

Monday! Everybody who comes from ‘away’ goes back to base. The next day, the cart pullers would start work, the civil servants would continue with their demand for more pay, traders would start quarrelling and selling and life grinds on and on.

The Easter is over and this shows clearly in the slimness of the back-pocket. But wasn’t it worth it? It was! You’ve at least gone to the village and taken the dregs of palm wine to make your wife happy. But remember there is something called Family Planning.

This article was first published on Saturday April 22, 1995