She hid a secret from me

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I have just found out that the woman I want to marry was raped about two months ago but she told me nothing about it.

It was a cousin of mine who lives in her area who told me about it. When I asked her about it, she broke down and said it was true but she was afraid I would leave her.

But Obaa Yaa, I feel very hurt by what she has done and we are no longer on talking terms.

I want to hold on with the marriage, so I have even stopped going for marriage counselling. Can I trust a woman who would hide such a thing from me?

Kersi,

Osu.

Dear Kersi,

Rape is a very traumatic thing for women and most of them remain silent over the matter and do not go to the police because of the shame and humiliation.

They also get stigmatised by society.

It is an outright violation of a person’s privacy and dignity. What your girlfriend need now is your love and support.

Most often, women get raped through no fault of theirs but dread to tell their partners for fear of being rejected because they have been touched by another man.

I suggest you go back to your marriage counselors and discuss this problem with them.

They should be able to counsel the two of you through this crises.

I believe when you get over this, it will strengthen your love and support for each other and better prepare you for other issues that may arise in your marriage.

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