No baby, no marriage 

Obaa Yaa,

 I am a 25-year-old student currently in Level 200, second semester, and I will soon be moving to Level 300.

My boyfriend is 30 years old. He is also a university student and is currently in his final year studying Law. He wants us to start having children soon. 

His plan is that once I become pregnant, perhaps within the first or second month, he will come and pay my bride price. We would first have the traditional marriage ceremony and later complete the legal marriage process at the court.

I am the first child in my family and come from a financially struggling background. 

At the moment, I earn about GH₵1,000 a month, while my boyfriend earns approximately GH₵4,000. He has offered to give me GH₵20,000 to start a business, but I honestly do not know what business to start. 

This uncertainty makes it difficult for me to make a decision based solely on his financial support.

I am worried because I love him and understand that he wants us to build a family together. I am, therefore struggling to decide whether I should agree to his plans now or wait until both of us are financially stable.

 Nuru, Tamale.

Dear Nuru,

If I were to advise you as a younger sister, I would tell you not to deliberately become pregnant now. 

Not because your boyfriend is necessarily a bad person, and not because having children is wrong, but because you have several major things that are not yet settled.

Secondly, premarital sex is unacceptable in the Christian setting.

Marriage should not be something that happens because you became pregnant. 

Your boyfriend is asking you to make a decision that could affect your entire life, yet the alternative you are considering is waiting until you complete school or land yourself a good job. 

If he genuinely loves you and wants to build a life with you, he should be able to understand why this short waiting period matters to you.

You could even spend the next few months researching businesses, learning a skill or developing a small business idea while waiting for the recruitment results.

In your situation, I would choose to wait rather than deliberately become pregnant now, because marriage is not a child’s play.

SKIP THE QUEUE, TAP THE NEWS

You can now read the Ghanaian Times and The Spectator newspapers from the comfort of your device via TimesNewsPlus.

Join our WhatsApp Channel: https://whatsapp.com/channel/0029VbBElzjInlqHhl1aTU27