My wife used to say thank you a lot when we were dating

Whenever I bought her a gift, took her out, or even complimented her, she would thank me.

 I loved her for always showing appreciation all the time and that made me love her more.

Interestingly, when we got married few weeks into our marriage, my wife has stopped saying thank you.

I can give her the world now, and she would look at it, put it in her purse, and walk away as if nothing had happened.

On top of that, my favourite type of thank you doesn’t come anymore. I even asked if everything was okay with her.

She only rolled her eyes and treated my question as if it didn’t matter. Does that mean thankfulness ceases after marriage? Or is everything now my responsibility, so I deserve no thank you?

Seth, Koforidua.

Dear Seth

A balanced response would acknowledge his feelings while also encouraging healthy communication:

Your feelings are understandable. Being appreciated matters, whether you’ve been married for one year or 20 years. A simple “thank you” can make a partner feel seen, valued, and loved.

At the same time, it’s common for couples to become comfortable with each other after marriage. Many people don’t intentionally stop showing gratitude; they simply assume their partner already knows they’re appreciated. Familiarity can sometimes replace the small expressions of appreciation that were common during dating.

Rather than keeping score or assuming the worst, have an honest but gentle conversation with your wife. Tell her that it’s not just the words “thank you” you miss it’s the feeling of being appreciated. Avoid bringing it up as a complaint or a joke; instead, explain how those little expressions made you feel loved and respected.

Also, lead by example. Continue thanking her for the things she does, no matter how small. Gratitude is often contagious, and when both partners intentionally express appreciation, it strengthens the marriage.

Marriage shouldn’t mark the end of gratitude. If anything, it should be the place where appreciation is expressed most often. A relationship where both spouses feel noticed, valued, and acknowledged is usually a happier and healthier one.