My mother is a fraudster

Dear Obaa Yaa,

FOR the past year, my mother has been complaining of one sickness after another. Whenever she called to tell me she was in the hospital, she would say the doctor had prescribed some medicines and ask me to send her money. I always did because I believed she was genuinely sick and needed my help.

A few weeks later, she would call again, claiming her condition had worsened. Sometimes it was high blood sugar or high blood pressure, and recently, she complained of sciatica. No matter how much money I sent, there was always another sickness and another medical bill to pay.

I eventually asked her to come to Accra so I could take her to the hospital for a comprehensive medical examination. However, she always had an excuse. She would say her knees hurt too much for her to sit in a car for that long or that her blood pressure was dangerously high.

Every month, I sent her at least GH₵5,000 for medical expenses. The situation became so exhausting that I sometimes stopped answering her calls because I already knew what she wanted to discuss.

Whenever I finally picked up, she would make me feel guilty for not answering.

One day, my aunt called and told me she had something important to share. She sent me a voice recording and warned me not to tell my mother about it.

I was shocked when I listened to the recording. My mother was boasting to someone that she had deliberately refused to come to Accra because she knew I would discover the truth about her supposed illnesses and stop sending her money.

What hurt me most was hearing her say, “If she heals all my sicknesses, what will I eat?”

I was devastated and furious. For an entire week, I refused to answer her calls. When I eventually picked up, she immediately started asking why I wanted her to die.

This time, I could not keep quiet.

Obaa Yaa, am I wrong to stop supporting my mother financially after discovering what she has allegedly been doing? Should I forgive her and give her another chance, or should I maintain my distance to protect myself from further manipulation?

Efe, Accra

Dear Efe,

I CAN understand your anger, disappointment and sense of betrayal. Sending your mother at least GH₵5,000 every month because you believe she is unwell is a significant financial commitment.

Discovering a recording in which she allegedly admits to deliberately avoiding a medical examination so she can continue receiving money from you would understandably hurt you deeply.

The situation is particularly painful because this is your mother, someone you naturally expect to be honest with you.

However, I would advise you not to make your next decision purely out of anger. You have every right to protect yourself from financial and emotional manipulation, but you should also consider the kind of relationship you want to have with your mother in the future.

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