My husband moans too loud

 Dear Obaa Yaa, 

 We live on a compound with five flats, and I am struggling with the looks I get from my neighbours every morning. The way they stare at me feels so horrible.

My husband moans so loud during sex, and this happens almost every day.  I always try to cover up but he always finds a way to keep making noise.  He screams my name very loudly.

We have not yet completed our own house, and it will not be happening anytime soon. Please, how do I get him to stop all this excessive moans? I am so ashamed to move around the compound. The worst part is that my compound neighbours always see me when I am coming in or going out. Sometimes they avoid me and give me some looks, gossiping about me. Obaa Yaa, what should I do?

Adzo, Keta.

Dear Adzo,

What you are experiencing is quite embarrassing and emotionally painful.

 Your feelings are completely valid. You are not doing anything wrong, immoral, or indecent.

 The situation continues not because of your actions, but because your husband is ignoring your repeated pleas for privacy and dignity.

A loving and considerate spouse does not trivialise such distress. You need to have one final, calm but firm conversation with him outside the bedroom, making it clear that this behaviour of his is hurting you and must stop.

At the same time, set a clear boundary: if the noise continues, you will not feel comfortable being intimate with him when others can hear.

This is not punishment; it is self-protection. You can also reduce exposure temporarily by closing windows, adding background music, and choosing more private times.

Hold your head up and remember you have done nothing disgraceful. If your husband still refuses to change, seek marital counselling or a trusted mediator he respects. You deserve privacy, respect, and emotional safety in your marriage.

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