My husband is not affectionate

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am a 25-year-old woman and have been married for two years. Since I gave birth to our second child, I have noticed a painful change in my husband. He no longer shows me affection the way he used to. Instead, he’s been openly flirting with a younger girl in our area, and it is breaking my heart.

Some of my friends say it is because I have gained weight after having two children. They even suggest I stop breastfeeding my three-month-old baby, claiming it will make my breasts sag and make me look less attractive.

I am devastated. I love my children and want to care for them fully, but I also want to save my marriage. Is it true that my body changes are the reason he is drifting away? Or is there something deeper going on? I am confused, hurt, and unsure of what to do next.

— Chelsea, Dansoman

Dear Chelsea,

Breasts are for nurturing, not for judgment. Your body has done something beautiful by giving life; that is not a flaw. The advice to stop breastfeeding to “look better” is harmful and unnecessary. Your child’s health and wellbeing come first.

Your husband’s behaviour reflects his own choices, not your worth. If he is drifting, the answer is not for you to shrink yourself or sacrifice your wellbeing. You are still worthy of love, respect, and care just as you are.