I feel nervous when I see her

Dear ObaaYaa,

I am 22 and she is 20. We have not grown to a marrying state. My problem is that anytime I see this lady, I feel nervous and try to use a different route.

Both of us are Christians and belong to one church. I have been together with many girls, but this strange thing has not happened to me before.

Meanwhile, I am a student, and it will take some time for me to complete my education and get a job before marriage, so I can take care of my children.

Should I be bold one day to tell her to wait for me till I complete my education and then get a job, or should I stop her from coming to visit me?

—PK, Suhum

Dear PK,

Sometimes, when people are in love, they get excited and nervous when their loved one approaches them. However, this feeling should not be permanent. This nervousness normally gives way to relaxation, comfort, and joy.

If this nervousness should persist, then it means there is a problem. If there is something about her character that makes you uncomfortable, then talk to her about it. If it’s something negative and she has the power to change, let her do so.

At the age of 20, I also think both of you are very young for marriage. Just take the relationship easy—no serious commitments and no sex.

Give priority to a good education and a good job. That is one of the pillars to a happy marriage.

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