I don’t understand my wife

I am a 32-year-old Journalist and a business man who is doing quite well. My wife is also a banker but currently on maternity leave.

I personally handle everything in the house (utility bills, provisions, rent and others) because I don’t allow my wife to stress out.

The problem is whenever I pick something to eat, my wife nags about it.

If I take slices of bread, she asks me why I am taking two slices. If I put on the air conditioner, she complains I am wasting electricity. If I watch TV, she tells me that’s all I know as a man.

I am surprised about the sudden behaviour of my wife.

You should see the way my wife serves food to these kids. Plenty rice, small meat.

You should see her mother serving herself. Sometimes I compare our food to her mother’s food and I ask myself who works to put food on the table? Is the in-law influencing her?

Charles,

Accra.

Dear Charles,

Your feelings are valid, being policed in your own house is humiliating.

Stop arguing and call for a meeting between you and your wife and pour out your grievances.

Explain to your wife, how being questioned makes you feel. Handle the mother-in-law issue privately without attacking her mother. Don’t let resentment make you withdraw or better still give her attitude.

If there is no change, speak to a respected counsellor, pastor or elder for mediation. Your children might be watching; you both deserve to feel secured and heard but if things ever turn into threats or fear, get help immediately.