I cannot wait for him

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am a girl of 25 years. My fiancé is 30 years. We met about three years ago when my fiancé was in training college. The plan was to get married after his schooling so we started making initial preparations towards that.

Now, my fiancé has started working in readiness to carry on with the engagement but his father says he should hold on because he started work not long ago.

His father doesn’t object to our relationship but he insists that my fiancé should further his education at the University before the engagement.

He warned, however, that if we insist on carrying out with the engagement, then he should be counted out. He would have nothing to do with his son again.

My fiancé also thinks marriage without the consent of the father can be disastrous because the Bible even talks about honouring one’s parents.

Obaa Yaa, my problem is that I cannot wait any longer. I feel like walking out of the relationship because my fiancé is being dictated to by the father. Please what should I do.

Ekua,

Obom.

Dear Ekua,

Probably your fiancé’s father is concerned about a better future for the two of you since marriage can be financially demanding.

What you are calling ‘engagement’ is customary marriage.

 I believe you need to accept your boyfriend’s father’s advice and also use the opportunity to either further your education or be financially stable.

 It is good to be married but it is better both partners are financially stable so that both of you will not be financially or emotionally drained in the marriage.

Real security is when you and your partner have no ulterior motive for marrying each other but for the sake of mutual love and respect which is based on the fear of God.