Charity, the true love that matters

Every love story is different. Whether it’s fictional or real, from our family history or our own lives, each story includes its share of heartaches and joys. Many are characterised by moving, poetic declarations of love and devotion. But the stories that stand the test of time are those that chronicle love in action: lived affection and demonstrated caring.

Ben and Suzzy’s love story is just that kind of story. Throughout their many years together, Ben was always generous with compliments. He often told his sweetheart what he loved about her appearance, her cooking, her efforts, and her hard work. Ben found ways to make Suzzy’s life easier. When he retired two years before she did, he prepared dinner every night so it was ready when she walked through the door. And although Ben was in intense pain during the last years of his life, he continued to find ways to show love. On holidays, anniversaries, birthdays, and just whenever he felt like it, he would give Suzzy flowers, a little gift, or a handwritten note of love and appreciation. He was always thinking of her.

After nearly five decades of marriage, Ben passed away and left his sweetheart to reminisce on all of the laughter, love, and devotion they shared. Suzzy said it this way: “Do I feel cherished? Oh, make no mistake it was the little things, the thoughtful, sweet things that Ben did every day that showed me how blessed I am.”

The words of the Apostle Paul provide a time-honoured description of authentic love, which Paul referred to as charity. “Charity,” he said, “suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not . . . , is not puffed up, . . . is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; . . . beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth.”

All of these things are manifest in actions, not just in declarations. In the end, love is not something you say, it’s something you do—little by little, every day, year after year. This is the kind of love that never fails.

Warren Buffet is one of the world’s richest men, but he doesn’t measure success by how much money he has accumulated. Now in his late 70s, Buffet lives frugally considering his great wealth and has pledged to give most of his fortune to charity. He seeks no buildings or monuments to his name. He has said:

“I know people who have a lot of money, and they get testimonial dinners and hospital wings named after them. But the truth is that nobody in the world loves them. When you get to my age, you’ll measure your success in life by how many of the people you want to have love you actually do love you. That’s the ultimate test of how you’ve lived your life.”

Of course we want to live in the present, but good can also come from looking ahead, for each of us, the day will come when we leave loved ones behind with only thoughts and feelings, memories of our lives. What will others think and feel when our time comes? What will be our legacy? Most of us will never have a wing of the hospital bear our name, but no matter our worldly wealth, we all have loved ones who carry our names in their hearts.

As Warren Buffet said, that’s the ultimate test of a life well lived.
We know that no one takes any money or possessions with them hereafter, and so they don’t deserve undue focus in the here-and-now. Instead, we can strive to nurture loving relationships, strengthen family bonds, and focus our attention and priorities on the things that really matter. As we do, we come closer to passing the ultimate test which is to love one another.