Relationship
Good reasons for getting married – Part 2
3. Marry because you are mature and ready for it in all ways: spiritual, physical, emotional, financial, and psychological.
You must understand the need to be ready and mature for marriage. Marriage is a crucial decision that requires careful consideration and preparation. Spiritual maturity means a strong faith and shared beliefs with your partner (Colossians 3:14).
Being physically mature has to do with coming of age, taking care of your body, and being able to support your partner. Emotional maturity implies you can manage your emotions and communicate well (Proverbs 15:1).
Financial maturity means being able to provide for your partner and home. It also means being financially stable (Proverbs 21:5). Whereas psychological maturity is about knowing yourself and handling life’s challenges (Romans 12:2).
All these factors help you be ready for marriage. They also help you build a strong, lasting relationship with your spouse.
The verses above show that a strong relationship with God, self-care, communication, financial responsibility, and personal growth are key to being ready for marriage.
4. Marry to spiritually and physically help each other.
Marriage is a lifelong commitment between a man and a woman who choose to share their lives together. Spirituality and physical wellbeing are both essential components of a healthy relationship. Couples can enjoy supporting each other spiritually and physically. Here are some ways to achieve this.
Spiritual help:
a. Share your spiritual beliefs and practices with each other.
b. Attend church services or religious events together.
c. Pray together.
d. Discuss spiritual teachings and how they apply to your relationship.
e. Encourage each other to live a life of kindness, compassion, and service.
Physical help:
a. Exercise together.
b. Cook healthy meals and eat together.
c. Take care of each other’s physical needs.
d. Support each other during illnesses.
e. Sleep well and create a healthy sleep routine.
By supporting each other, couples can grow and strengthen their bond in all aspects of life.
5. Marry based on your God-given destiny and assignment in life.
Many believe that everyone has a unique, God-given destiny. It can guide decisions, including whom to marry. Some believe that God has a specific person for each individual. Others believe that God directs and helps them choose wisely.
Ask your marriage counsellor this: Does God have a specific person for me to marry, or can I marry anyone?
Does God have a specific person for me to marry, or can I marry anyone?
Marry based on a combination of reasons. These include compatibility, love, respect, and shared faith, values, and goals. Also, commit to supporting and caring for each other. It can help to seek advice from a trusted marriage counsellor, family members, or spiritual leaders. Also, reflect on your priorities and dreams before deciding.
Marriage can bring you and your partner closer together. You will share the same values and goals for your future. It can help you solidify your relationship and bring a sense of unity.
6. Marry for a lifelong commitment and dedication.
Marriage is a public declaration of commitment and dedication to each other. It shows that you are serious about your relationship and willing to put in the effort to make it work. Many marry to show their commitment and dedication to building a life together.
Marriage can provide a legal and social framework for you and your spouse to share your lives, support each other, and celebrate your successes. It can also create a sense of stability and security for both of you and any potential children you may have.
Finally, the choice to marry is personal and it should be based on your understanding of marriage and your needs, goals, and values.
To be continued …
Source: Excerpts from ‘Preparing for a Happy and Fulfilling Marriage’ Book by REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist, Lecturer, and Marriage Therapist). https://counselorprinceass.wixsite. com/edu-counseling-psych
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COUNSELOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES CONSULT (CPAC COUNSELLOR TRAINING INSTITUTE)
Long-distance relationships can be intimidating, but they do not have to be. Whether with friends or a romantic partner, distance does not need to define your relationship.
The most important part of maintaining a healthy long-distance relationship is remembering to prioritise your needs and boundaries. By keeping these tips in mind, managing a long-distance situation can be a positive experience for everyone involved.
- Set aside time for daily or weekly check-ins
By establishing regular times for communication from the get-go, you and your friend or partner will be on the same page about how often you expect to hear from one another. Also remember, keep in mind the quality of your conversations. If you are re often arguing or you finish the majority of your interactions feeling unsatisfied or unhappy, it is time to re-evaluate if the relationship is still a positive one.
- Write letter or send surprise care packages
Taking the time to exchange letters with your loved one is a special way to enhance your connection and provide comfort and support.
The time it takes to write and mail a letter demonstrates to your friend or partner that you want to go the extra mile to show them you are thinking about them.
- Try a weekly video call
Even if you feel nervous about the idea of facetime or having a video chat, this type of communication can make you feel a bit closer to your friend or partner.
Prioritise setting boundaries for yourself, and ask your partner about their boundaries as well. If you find that your partner is often pushing you to have a video call so they can see where you are, that could be a red flag.
- Make sure to ground yourself in your daily life
Sometimes in a long-distance relationship, it is easy to get wrapped up in thinking about how far away you are, how much you miss the person, and how tough it can be.
The best way to avoid feeling sad or worried is by being present in your life and with the people in it. Outside of your daily responsibilities, make sure to stay connected to the friends and family near you.
If you do not know many people where you are, the best way to do that is by joining a club, volunteering at a non-profit you are passionate about, or joining a sport or exercise class that you enjoy.
- Make plans for the next time you will see each other
One of the best ways to feel better about the distance is by planning a future trip and talking about all the fun things you can do together the next time you see each other in person.
Remember, only commit to what is feasible for you, and what will not detract from daily life.
As a seasoned marriage counsellor and mental health practitioner at Counselor Prince & Associates Consult (CPAC), I have seen countless couples struggle with the harsh reality of toxic relationships.
Love, once a beautiful flame that warmed their hearts, can morph into a destructive force that leaves emotional scars.
Therefore, recognising the signs of an unhealthy relationship is crucial to breaking free from its grip.
In a toxic relationship, control and manipulation can be subtle at first, but they can escalate into emotional abuse. When one partner dictates what the other wears, who they talk to, or what they do, it is a sign of control.
Emotional drain is another red flag– if interactions with your partner leave you feeling exhausted, anxious, or depressed, it’s time to re-evaluate the relationship.
Gaslighting, a tactic where one partner denies previous agreements or conversations, making the other question their sanity, can be particularly insidious.
It is a form of psychological manipulation that can erode self-confidence and make it challenging to make decisions. Similarly, a lack of respect can be a significant issue in toxic relationships.
When boundaries are consistently disregarded or disrespected, it can lead to feelings of resentment and hurt.
Jealousy and possessiveness can also be warning signs. While some degree of jealousy can be normal, excessive possessiveness can be suffocating. It is essential to recognise the difference between healthy concern and unhealthy obsession.
The impact of toxic relationships on mental health cannot be overstated. The constant stress and pressure can lead to anxiety and depression. Being belittled or criticized can erode self-confidence, making it challenging to maintain a sense of identity. In extreme cases, toxic relationships can even lead to trauma, making it difficult to form healthy relationships in the future.
So, what can you do if you recognise these signs in your relationship? Seeking support from trusted friends, family, or therapists such as CPAC can be a crucial step.
Establishing clear boundaries and communicating them assertively can also help. Prioritising self-care and engaging in activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul is essential.
Couples therapy can be beneficial, but it is crucial to approach it with caution – toxic partners may resist change.
Ultimately, love should uplift and inspire, not drain or control. Recognising the signs of an unhealthy relationship is the first step towards healing and growth. If you are struggling, do not hesitate to seek help. Take a moment to reflect on your relationship – do you feel valued and respected?
Are your boundaries honored? Do you feel happy and fulfilled? If your answers raise concerns, it is time to re-evaluate your relationship and prioritise your well-being. Remember, you deserve to be treated with love, respect, and kindness.
To be continued …
Source: Excerpts from “AVOID REGRETS IN MARRIAGE: How to Choose a Spouse” Book by REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Mental Health Professional, Lecturer, Published Author, and Marriage Counsellor).
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COUNSELOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES CONSULT (CPAC COUNSELLOR TRAINING INSTITUTE)
By Counselor Prince Offei
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