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Good reasons for getting married – Part 2

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Marry based on your God-given destiny and assignment in life.
Marry based on your God-given destiny and assignment in life.

 3. Marry because you are mature and ready for it in all ways: spiritual, physical, emo­tional, financial, and psychological.

You must understand the need to be ready and mature for marriage. Marriage is a crucial decision that requires careful consideration and preparation. Spiritual maturity means a strong faith and shared beliefs with your partner (Colossians 3:14).

Being physically mature has to do with coming of age, taking care of your body, and being able to support your partner. Emotional maturity im­plies you can manage your emotions and communicate well (Proverbs 15:1).

Financial maturity means being able to provide for your partner and home. It also means being financially stable (Proverbs 21:5). Whereas psy­chological maturity is about knowing yourself and handling life’s challeng­es (Romans 12:2).

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All these factors help you be ready for marriage. They also help you build a strong, lasting relation­ship with your spouse.

The verses above show that a strong relationship with God, self-care, communication, financial re­sponsibility, and personal growth are key to being ready for marriage.

4. Marry to spiritually and physically help each other.

Marriage is a lifelong commitment between a man and a woman who choose to share their lives together. Spirituality and physical wellbeing are both essential components of a healthy relationship. Couples can enjoy supporting each other spiritual­ly and physically. Here are some ways to achieve this.

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Spiritual help:

a. Share your spiritual beliefs and practices with each other.

b. Attend church services or religious events together.

c. Pray together.

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d. Discuss spiritual teachings and how they apply to your relation­ship.

e. Encourage each other to live a life of kindness, compassion, and service.

Physical help:

a. Exercise together.

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b. Cook healthy meals and eat together.

c. Take care of each other’s physical needs.

d. Support each other during illnesses.

e. Sleep well and create a healthy sleep routine.

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By supporting each other, couples can grow and strengthen their bond in all aspects of life.

5. Marry based on your God-given destiny and assignment in life.

Many believe that everyone has a unique, God-given destiny. It can guide decisions, including whom to marry. Some believe that God has a specific person for each individual. Others believe that God directs and helps them choose wisely.

Ask your marriage counsellor this: Does God have a specific person for me to marry, or can I marry anyone?

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Does God have a specific per­son for me to marry, or can I marry anyone?

Marry based on a combina­tion of reasons. These include com­patibility, love, respect, and shared faith, values, and goals. Also, commit to supporting and caring for each other. It can help to seek advice from a trusted marriage counsellor, family members, or spiritual leaders. Also, reflect on your priorities and dreams before deciding.

Marriage can bring you and your partner closer together. You will share the same values and goals for your future. It can help you solidify your relationship and bring a sense of unity.

6. Marry for a lifelong commit­ment and dedication.

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Marriage is a public declaration of commitment and dedication to each other. It shows that you are serious about your relationship and willing to put in the effort to make it work. Many marry to show their commit­ment and dedication to building a life together.

Marriage can provide a legal and social framework for you and your spouse to share your lives, support each other, and celebrate your suc­cesses. It can also create a sense of stability and security for both of you and any potential children you may have.

Finally, the choice to marry is per­sonal and it should be based on your understanding of marriage and your needs, goals, and values.

To be continued …

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Source: Excerpts from ‘Pre­paring for a Happy and Fulfilling Marriage’ Book by REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist, Lecturer, and Marriage Therapist). https://counselorprinceass.wixsite. com/edu-counseling-psych

https://princeoffei22.wixsite. com/website-psychologist

https://princeoffei22.wixsite. com/website

COUNSELOR PRINCE & ASSOCI­ATES CONSULT (CPAC COUNSELLOR TRAINING INSTITUTE)

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Relationship

How to Navigate Social Media Boundaries as a Couple

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Navigating social media boundaries as a couple can be tricky. With constant access to each other’s lives online, it’s essential to establish clear boundaries to maintain a healthy relationship. Here are practical tips to help couples manage social media use effectively.

1. Have an Open and Honest Conversation
The first step is to talk openly with your partner about social media usage and how it affects your relationship. Honest conversations may feel challenging, but they are essential for understanding each other’s perspectives and setting mutually acceptable boundaries.

2. Be Specific
When discussing boundaries, be clear about the behaviors that bother you and the limits you’d like to set. For example, instead of saying, “You spend too much time on social media,” try:
“I feel neglected when you are on your phone for extended periods during our conversations. Can we set a limit on phone usage during quality time together?”

3. Be Considerate
Consider and respect your partner’s viewpoint. Setting boundaries is not about controlling each other; it’s about creating balance and fostering trust in the relationship. The goal is to maintain connection without letting social media interfere with your bond.

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4. Agree on Social Media Etiquette
Social media etiquette guidelines can help couples define what is and isn’t acceptable online behavior. Discuss whether you will follow each other, what kinds of photos you’ll post, and how you will interact with others online. Clear guidelines help prevent misunderstandings and maintain respect.

5. Respect Each Other’s Privacy
Respecting privacy is crucial. Avoid snooping on your partner’s accounts, sharing personal information without consent, or posting photos or updates that may make them uncomfortable. Trust and respect form the foundation of a healthy digital relationship.

6. Don’t Use Social Media as a Measure of Your Relationship
Remember that social media often shows a curated “highlight reel” of other people’s relationships. Avoid comparing your relationship to these selective portrayals. Every relationship is unique, with its own challenges and successes. Focus on what makes your bond special rather than online comparisons.

Conclusion
Setting boundaries on social media is key to nurturing a healthy, happy relationship. Open communication, mutual respect, agreed-upon etiquette, and avoiding comparison with others online are all vital steps in maintaining intimacy and trust in the digital age.

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Source: Arkansas Relationship Counselling Centre

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Vulnerability, Openness Strengthen Relationship Bond

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In the realm of romantic relationships, vulnerability and openness are often misconstrued as signs of weakness. However, research in psychology and relationship counselling suggests that embracing vulnerability can be a powerful catalyst for deepening emotional intimacy and strengthening bonds.

The Power of Vulnerability

Vulnerability involves sharing our innermost thoughts, feelings, and desires with our partner, making us susceptible to potential hurt or rejection. Yet, it is precisely this openness that allows us to build trust, foster empathy, and create a sense of safety in our relationships.

When couples prioritise vulnerability, they often experience a profound shift in their relationship dynamics. For instance, a couple I counselled, who were struggling to connect after a recent move, found that sharing their fears and anxieties with each other helped them rebuild their emotional intimacy. By being open about their struggles, they were able to support each other and strengthen their bond.

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Benefits of Vulnerability and Openness

  1. Deeper understanding: By sharing our thoughts and feelings, we gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and our partner.
  2. Increased empathy: When we are open about our struggles, our partner is more likely to respond with compassion and support.
  3. Resilience: Vulnerability helps us develop coping mechanisms and learn to navigate challenges together.
  4. Authentic connection: By being our authentic selves, we create a sense of mutual understanding and connection.

Cultivating Vulnerability in Relationships

So, how can we cultivate vulnerability in our relationships? Here are some practical tips:

  1. Start small: Begin by sharing your thoughts and feelings in low-stakes situations, like discussing a book or movie. As you become more comfortable, you can gradually share more personal aspects of yourself.
  2. Practice active listening: When your partner shares their vulnerabilities, respond with empathy and understanding. This helps create a safe space for open communication.
  3. Be present: Focus on the present moment and try to let go of distractions. This allows you to stay engaged and responsive to your partner’s needs.
  4. Show appreciation: Express gratitude for your partner’s vulnerability and celebrate their courage in sharing their thoughts and feelings.

In many successful relationships, couples have reported that regular “check-ins” or meaningful conversations help them stay connected and build a stronger bond. By prioritising vulnerability and openness, these couples are able to address life’s challenges together, fostering a deeper sense of connection and intimacy.

Vulnerability and openness are essential components of a healthy, fulfilling relationship. By embracing these qualities, we can build stronger, more resilient bonds with our partners. As we navigate the complexities of relationships, let us remember that vulnerability is not a weakness, but a strength that can bring us closer to ourselves and our loved ones.

To be continued…

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Source: Excerpts from “COURTSHIP MATTERS: Keys to a Fulfilling Lasting Marriage” by Rev. Counselor Prince Offei (Lecturer, Published Author, Mental Health Professional, and Marriage Counsellor).

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COUNSELOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES
CONSULT (CPAC COUNSELLOR TRAINING
INSTITUTE)

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