The Bible says “I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing“according to John 15:5 (KJV). This is a profound statement that needs to be considered in all aspects of our lives, especially in our marital relationships. People think that you can establish a relationship particularly a marital one, without the involvement of God and therefore Godly principles and expect it to work. No wonder the rate of divorce keeps soaring and soaring.
What we need to understand is that marriage is for fulfillment of God’s purposes for mankind and therefore to take him out of the equation makes the relationship a non-starter. I was watching a movie and the newlyweds were embarking on their honeymoon just by boat, soon after the wedding that was held at a seafront. The groom was the one driving the boat and the family and friends waved them off joyfully as the boat sped off. Shortly afterwards they decided to turn back to say a final bye bye to the people and the man ‘s foot got entangled in the rope that was used in tying the boat to the platform used as the disembarking platform and fell over board and was being dragged along like someone doing water skiing. A family member observing the chaos that ensued commented, “This marriage would not last”. There are sometimes signs of how a marriage is going to end at the friendship or courtship stages but family members tend to gloss over, only to later confess when things go wrong that they saw signs but thought things will work out so they kept their silence.
Listening to the discussions going on the TV show on Friday the September 25, about a lady who had asked the host about what to do regarding the ultimatum given her by her fiancé that either she gets a butt enhancement through surgery or she should forget about him ever marrying her. This marriage if it should happen has no firm foundation. It is only based on physical appearance which would change with time. What happens 10 years after It brought to the fore the attitude towards women in our chauvinistic society? The divorce rate has been on the rise and my worry is the impact it has on society since the family unit is a microcosm of the society and therefore if marriages do not work, then it is the society that is at risk of disintegration.
Some ladies go looking for partners sometimes with a tall list of criteria they are looking for in a man and when they realise that time is running out for them then they get desperate and settle on anyone who comes their way. They do not take time because they are in a hurry to really get to know their partners. It is true that you cannot really foretell what the future holds but if you are a Christian, serious prayer would let you have the assurance that the person you have settled on is the right person for you. Most of the time however, people who are ready to marry, do not have time for serious prayer. In fact some are not willing to even involve God at all. They just go in to see the parents and they do the customary marriage and they become man and wife. Clearly such a relationship may be headed for trouble since the people involved have not brought in the God factor so they can go to Him for assistance should they encounter challenges.
What people need to understand is that the marriage institution is something ordained by God for His children to fulfill His purpose for mankind. Any marriage relationship must therefore be established according to His rules. Anything done outside of his rules is headed for trouble and it does not matter the educational or social status of the persons involved. The fact is that one plus one equals two and it does not matter which planet you are on, it remains the same. What you choose to believe does not change that fact. The problem though is that when you choose to believe either through ignorance or for some other reason that one plus one is equal to say 3, you would have yourself to blame when it matters most. If you think that if you are not a child of God you can still have a successful marriage, then you are living in a fool’s paradise.
There are two forces in this world the forces of good represented by God and the forces of evil represented by the devil. There is no middle way. You are either a child of God or a child of the devil, it does not matter whether you believe it or not just as one plus one equals two. Marriage is something that the devil hates because when properly established it destroys the kingdom of satan and promotes the agenda of God. Therefore the first day a marriage gets contracted is the day the marriage and the people involved became the target of the devil. When one of the partners is a child of God and the other is not, it becomes easier for the devil to manipulate issues in the marriage to destroy it. If you get married to an unbeliever, satan is your Father-in-law and you can be sure that no good advice will come from him to her son or daughter to help establish that marriage. That is why the Bible says in 2 Corinthians 6:14 that “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers…” (KJV).
All the blame for failed marriages however cannot be put on at the doorstep of the devil. Our attitude towards marriage goes a long way in determining whether or not our marriages would be successful or not. When a woman starts to disrespect her husband due to loss of his job, illness or some other reason, a foundation for the destruction of the marriage is being laid. It is just a matter of time before such a marriage implodes. A husband who begins to cheat on his wife also lays the foundation for the destruction of the marriage and you cannot blame this on the devil. There are other issues like succumbing to the influence of friends, reduction of care and demonstration of affection towards each other, maintenance of body shape, maintenance of personal hygiene etc. which if not addressed has the potential to disrupt the harmony of any marital relationship. These cannot be blamed on the devil.
Another worrying development is the loss of moral values gradually taking hold of our youth. The sanctity of marriage especially the “till death do us part” portion does not matter to them. To them divorce is now part of the marital equation and at the sign of a slight challenge begin to find a way out. There is also the issue of feminist agenda which began at the Beijing Conference and our ladies especially the educated ones, have adopted it hook line and sinker and have even taken it to ridiculous levels. If people decide to have their own way and disregard God’s rules as far as marriage is concerned, then I dare say emphatically that they can never have a stable marital relationships; for without Him we can do nothing.

Laud Kissi-Mensah